Venting Beginning to think no one wants me to exist

[dec132013]

I have no idea how to say this because i don't want to sound like an attention seeker, but my god i need attention

P much my entire life everyone likes to act as if i'm not there. When I was in school teachers wouldn't notice me if I raised my hand, get left out all the time (I once had someone laugh at me when I asked if they wanted to do a group project with me-) etc... Hell, at that age I tried to ctb on several different occasions and every time I'd wake up alone where i passed out, (altho that's better than being forced into a ward) no one ever wondered why I'd disappear so often, probably wouldn't have even if i succeeded

Everyone I have contact with now seem to never want to talk to me, (unless it's cuz they need something ) usually leave me on read. The most human interaction I get is at work, and holy shit even there (host @ restaurant) some customers straight up ignore me

I have no idea wtf i'm doing to make people not want to acknowledge my existence, I try really hard to not be annoying but at this rate it's like the only thing I can do to make others happy is to ctb so there's a 0% chance of me bothering them again. I've been fantasizing about what'd it be like to have a close friend for years and now that i'm done grade school I can't imagine it ever happening since i have no way to meet anyone now.

 

[Dcap1]

I have no idea how to say this because i don't want to sound like an attention seeker, but my god i need attention

P much my entire life everyone likes to act as if i'm not there. When I was in school teachers wouldn't notice me if I raised my hand, get left out all the time (I once had someone laugh at me when I asked if they wanted to do a group project with me-) etc... Hell, at that age I tried to ctb on several different occasions and every time I'd wake up alone where i passed out, (altho that's better than being forced into a ward) no one ever wondered why I'd disappear so often, probably wouldn't have even if i succeeded

Everyone I have contact with now seem to never want to talk to me, (unless it's cuz they need something ) usually leave me on read. The most human interaction I get is at work, and holy shit even there (host @ restaurant) customers straight up ignore me

I have no idea wtf i'm doing to make people not want to acknowledge my existence, I try really hard to not be annoying but at this rate it's like the only thing I can do to make others happy is to ctb so there's a 0% chance of me bothering them again. I've been fantasizing about what'd it be like to have a close friend for years and now that i'm done grade school I can't imagine it ever happening since i have no way to meet anyone now.

You're not alone. Many of us on this site feel the same way. I have no advice, only the support that you might need.

 

[Checkmate3]

I think you can be a great spy. Why waste such talent on some restaurant, when you can easily enter the headquarters of the General Secretary of China, take the documents and leave, and no one will say anything..

 

[BPD Barbie]

You're not alone. Many of us on this site feel the same way. I have no advice, only the support that you might need.

Just echoing this really. My mom has been in and out of hospital this past 2 weeks and she is the only person I really speak to daily, made me realise how deathly alone and unnoticed by the world I am. Sorry you feel this way, sending you love

 

[Busoccupant]

Loneliness is a terrible feeling. We as humans need to feel that belong to groups of people in order to get safety and recognition. Nowadays may sound stupid in most cases, but our first ancestors needed it to increase their survival chances and now we are attached to it. That's why it feels bad, we are social animals. As a relief must of us here feel just like you. I'm sorry

 

[Jbra1299]

Never thought I'd be here, but I'm in the same boat