Been really feeling the need to CTB today again...

[TheYounger]

These past two years have really been hell and it's about time to end with it. Shits just not going well and it's impossible to continue with all this pain. Just want to start over again with a new life. Because this shit of a life isn't worth living anymore. Probably gonna end up CTB'ing soon. It's just impossible to continue this way. It would be nice to visit the beach before CTB'ing and actually might end up doing that.

Planned to CTB on December 31 of this year. But at the rate it's been going, it seems like it might be sooner. The loneliness and depression is just too much to bear.

Will definitely post a goodbye thread when the time comes. Might be sooner than Dec. 31. Hopefully will end up seeing Letze on the other side. Just need to get it done and over with. And start anew.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I'm sorry that you're in such a dark place. Do you care to share your situation or give more details?

 

[TheYounger]

I'm sorry that you're in such a dark place. Do you care to share your situation or give more details?

It's just been alot of personal shit going on. Been only able to work part-time because of this mental condition that's been going on for 2 years straight. Haven't had a girlfriend or serious relationship in 2 years too because of it.

Everyday it seems like CTB is the best option to get out of this shit. Haven't been able to talk to friends online or in real person. Have to constantly wear sunglasses because of anxiety and depression. Haven't been able to spend time with brother. Shit like that. Just waiting for the day to muster up the courage to drink the 40+ grams of sodium Azide. And just call it good. No more having to deal with all this pain.

But it feels like it's going to be soon. Will definitely CTB before reaching the age of 30. No point in going that far with all this bullshit. It's like each day this mental hole keeps getting deeper and deeper. And death is the only way out at this point.

Those are just some things...

 

[GoneGoneGone]

I'm sorry to hear that you are in this position.
If you feel you have not yet exhausted all alternatives, please vent away here.

 

[Metalhead]

I wish I could join you on that trip to the beach.

 

[TheYounger]

I'm sorry to hear that you are in this position.
If you feel you have not yet exhausted all alternatives, please vent away here.

Really appreciate it but it's complicated going into the details. Just need some time to think lately but it seems like it always reaches the same conclusion.

I wish I could join you on that trip to the beach.

That's sweet.