Been OK, but this week has been bad

[Hydrokhoos]

Just needing to vent, and possibly find someone to talk to. I really don't want to CTB but there are so many nights where that feels like the best option for me because I'm just going to keep failing. I'm really struggling and my life is falling apart. Work/school isn't going as planned, no one has faith in me to be successful, and any mention of my mental health is just further proof why I shouldn't be in this field. I would just quit if I wasn't halfway through my masters and incredibly in debt from it. I just want something to show for my efforts and I don't have a backup plan. If I leave school I won't have a job or a house. Things always get worse at night when there's no around for me to talk to. I feel like my bipolar and ADHD medications have stopped working and it's gonna be a miracle if I get through the next year.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm really sorry things have been so difficult. Bipolar and ADHD are so hard to manage, and I hope you can find some meds that can help you.

Is there any program at your school that can help you since you're struggling? Some people get disability accomodations, others go to counseling or tutoring services. There's no shame in using any resources that are available. :)

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

like bitterlyalive said, there's nothing wrong with using what resources are available.

 

[Hydrokhoos]

I have medication that's been helping until it stopped a couple weeks ago. I'm upping my mood stabilizers and hoping that will help. The therapist that I LOVED left in May and I've been having trouble finding a new therapist that really works for me since then. I've tried disability services at my school, but since I'm a graduate student they decided that the fact I made it this far means I don't need their help and that some people have "real" problems. I'm still insanely angry about it but this happened around the time everything shut down because of the pandemic and I haven't found the right person in disability services to complain to yet.