Off-topic would be the best place, I'm interested in seeing your poetry. What themes do you write about?
I don't exactly know, but it's sort of just random things but forming them in mental health words? Don't know if I'm explaining that right.
Here's my first one I made:
Im at fault for all my problems.
I get lost.
Those are my problems.
I cry in pain, on the verge of dying. Compare and in despair.
I'm in a void.
Trying to avoid my pain, though!
Hurting so much inside, but no one sees it...
Hey, let's play hide and seek.
I'll hide first.
Nevermind. I'm too impatient to wait for you to find me. I'll seek for you.
Am I numb?
Why can't I SHOW it, can't FEEL it, can't TELL it?
Feels like I've been in this maze my whole life.
I can't turn around.
Dead ends now surround me.
I'm in a maze within my mind that's hopeless.
I try, but I fail.
My head is in the past but I live in the present.
All I open up is pain.
Packing and unpacking myself, but it's impacting me.
Deflecting the blame on you, but all it does is REFLECT back on me.
Got into the WWE, got a match against beating myself.
Losing every fight.
Getting injured, no coach, bleedin out, got no heals.
Old wounds openin, bleedin, scarring.
Losing myself bit by bit, losing my mind. My brain is raining pain.
Evolving my pain like a Pokémon, it's a mega evolution…Devastating, huh?
Tryna find the words.
Can't.
Depression and anxiety pullin me in different directions.
No middle ground.
Getting used like target practice.
Nothing ain't enough for me.
Nothing realistic.
Lookin online tryna find the words.
Tryna understand but never do.
Shaming my pain.
My aim is all too good.
My loudout is too OP.
Using memories, thoughts, trauma, facts, core beliefs.
All I do is look out for others more than my own self.
All I do is look for ways to feel good, but never do.
Got no restart button, no refresh button either, might as well quit.
Living for others, for their benefit. Not fitting in….In a crime scene, seen too much, lost too much, barely makin it out. Evidence backing up my case. File closed.
Triggin myself since I deserve it, serving my demons, they eat so well.
Everyone gets a say, but all I'm out on is viewing, can't share a thought, no opinion.
Watching my life like a tv series. It seriously hurts.
Core beliefs with infinity stones, snapped and dustin my grave. tellin me to plant around the root, but all the root does is it gets stronger.
Tryin to live but tryin to die. Wanting but not getting, hating but gettin it. This is the death of me.
Losing the battle, barley makin it out, not a compliment, not a achievement.
Everyday is a life in hell…(life in hell) wouldn't be surprised if my name was in the death note, probably by a suicide though.
Days go by, still a loss, I live, but I die in the end of it.
Walking on the edge, gonna fall shortly, have no one to save me.
Got no one to save me from myself, they try, but they fail.
Not their fault, just mine.
A lost cause, might as well be my middle name.
I'm non-binary, but my pain isn't the binary either.
Tryna hide my tears, but can't hold 'em back, fallin backwards, but not foward.
They tell me things I know bout myself, just reinforcing what I know.
Knowing all this shit, can't fix it, got nothin to live for, no life in that.
Losing hope as time passes, almost 3 years and yet here I am.
Depression gettin the best of me, that's what I'm made of.
Demons win, I never get a win.
Rather get hit by a train then live in my brain, they tell me to train my brain not to think like this but that's not possible.
Locked in my mind, locked in the past.
No keys, low key just wanna die. Pain gets the best of me, hope gets the worst from me.
Brain works against me, not with me. Everything links together, an unbreakable, growing, link chain.
Getting Dreams, Nightmares they're too real, hard to keep track on what's real. They point out the flaws so flawlessly.
They tellin me to distract myself, but all it does it track back on me.
My storage is full of pain, no drive to live then.
Surviving and not living.
(Not exactly a theme here, but I definitely wanna work on it more)
Here's another one:
They telling me to let go of the wounds of the past.
But it's hard to let go of the past when it's your future.
The wounds never are left behind, they live here right now.
These wounds don't truly heal, they reopen when you least expect it.
You can't understand a wound you barely see, I just barely bare it.
An event can reinvent as time passes.
Time is one of the painful wounds.
If I had to choose to go back to the past, stay in the now or go to the future.
I'd simply choose not to exist, but that option does not exist.
I have 2 options in reality.
Choose to die or choose to still suffer.
History lives in me, I just don't want to be the dying proof of my history.
My history is a mystery if you were never there.
I never knew how to prepare then.
I still don't know how to prepare.
I just compare, I can't repair.
I'm just in despair.
Can't look forward if I can't move forward.
I beg for the answers.
Can't even bargain for them.
I gain nothing but despair.
My looks don't define how I appear.
I try to appear fine but I try to disappear my pain.
I do it so well.
Just wish you could see.
Wish you could see that I'm really the problem.
Everytime I reach out for a hand, I don't feel your hand.
I'm just numb to your kind words.
They mean nothing to me because my pain is a lost cause that can't be found.
My pain found me and it kills me.
Here's another:
I drown in my sorrow, as I just borrow a smile.
I denial, in this downward spiral.
I've been drained of all hope though.
My Water still remains in this domain.
That I never owned it, I try to disown it.
Can't carry this water.
Sharks biting the prey I never wanted to be.
Whenever I try to swim, I just bleed out.
Can't out swim this ocean, can't I?
Want me to think glass half full?
At least I can live a bit longer in this water.
I know how to swim.
I just don't know how much longer I need to still swim in sorrow.
I have all this water.
I just never wanted the water to be this heavy.
Why is water impossible to carry?
The water owns me, it drowns me.
I'm too tired to keep swimming in a direction I know isn't there.
I can't save me, but no lifeboats on their way to save me.
These waterspouts are too dangerous for them to handle.
Can't have them get hurt, their lives are worth more than mine.
Everyone around me enjoying life on their cruise.
Trying to tread… I'm too bruised for a cruise.
I'm too tired.
Treading for so long I think I'll just sink.
I'm not gonna bother fighting off the sharks.
I've been bitten for so long, bleeding for so long.
All I do is sink.
Everything is so blurry.
I wish I had goggles.
Maybe I'd see ahead clearly.
Maybe I'd be able to swim longer.
Maybe I would regain this hope that's been drained.
Last Tread.
Last Breath…
Another (I made this a couple days ago):
My life is like bowling pins.
Always getting knocked down.
Always Strikes.
Like a lighting strike that knows what to hit.
No Spares to prepare for though.
Cause I'm just in despair.
My brain keeps score.
Like leaving mental scars.
That no tattoo could cover up.
I'm not the player, I'm just a spectator.
Never knowing who is rolling the bowl.
Not knowing how to control the fate of this game.
When all pins get knocked down.
These players are so skilled.
They never miss.
Most of my life has been watching this game.
Like a job, that I never wanted to be hired for.
I wanna retire cause I'm tired of living this nightmare that I never prepared for.
The spectators around me telling me to stick around without a reason why.
But I just want this game to end.
Hate seeing these pins get knocked down.
Like they mean nothing.
Can't do anything cause that's the point of the game.
My life has no meaning when the pins get knocked down.
What's there to look forward to when the pins always get knocked down?
I can't prevent the future of this game, cause it's been set in stone.
I predict the future of it, cause always more than one get knocked down.
It's like my purpose that has no meaning to just get knocked down.
Don't tell me there's hope.
Cause there is none as a spectator.
(I love the bowling pin one because it's so random)
Here's just a few I've made. And man do they take so long lol
