Been lied to my whole life

[bugs_for_brains]

I just came across some old documents with my name on them from when I was about 4 or 5 so I started reading. Turns out the man who I was told was my father my whole life isn't. I'm not so bothered about that because he's absent from our lives anyway but im bothered because it means that my sister is only my half-sibling.

I was gonna write more, there's is a fuck ton of other shit I discovered that somewhat explains why there's always been weird tension in our household and why me and my sister have always been confused by and suspicious of our parents but there's just too much. I'm so done rn

I told my sister bc she's 15 and some stuff that was revealed such as the fact that our grandmother who has acted as our 2nd parental figure forever is actually not even our grandma but our aunt and bc I think she deserves to know abt the nature of our relationship. She's also in complete shock and we just don't know what to do bc we've always known our family is fucked up and confronting them won't go over well at all

I just came across some old documents with my name on them from when I was about 4 or 5 so I started reading. Turns out the man who I was told was my father my whole life isn't. I'm not so bothered about that because he's absent from our lives anyway but im bothered because it means that my sister is only my half-sibling.

I was gonna write more, there's is a fuck ton of other shit I discovered that somewhat explains why there's always been weird tension in our household and why me and my sister have always been confused by and suspicious of our parents but there's just too much. I'm so done rn

I told my sister bc she's 15 and some stuff that was revealed such as the fact that our grandmother who has acted as our 2nd parental figure forever is actually not even our grandma but our aunt and bc I think she deserves to know abt the nature of our relationship. She's also in complete shock and we just don't know what to do bc we've always known our family is fucked up and confronting them won't go over well at all

I'm starting to resent my mum more and more as the years pass and this has just pushed me over the edge I think. I love her because she's my mum but I can't stand her as a person

 

[landslide2]

That is a whole lot to process, I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did. I hope you and your sis can be there for each other throughout all this.

 

[sugarb]

I just came across some old documents with my name on them from when I was about 4 or 5 so I started reading. Turns out the man who I was told was my father my whole life isn't. I'm not so bothered about that because he's absent from our lives anyway but im bothered because it means that my sister is only my half-sibling.

I was gonna write more, there's is a fuck ton of other shit I discovered that somewhat explains why there's always been weird tension in our household and why me and my sister have always been confused by and suspicious of our parents but there's just too much. I'm so done rn

I told my sister bc she's 15 and some stuff that was revealed such as the fact that our grandmother who has acted as our 2nd parental figure forever is actually not even our grandma but our aunt and bc I think she deserves to know abt the nature of our relationship. She's also in complete shock and we just don't know what to do bc we've always known our family is fucked up and confronting them won't go over well at all

I'm starting to resent my mum more and more as the years pass and this has just pushed me over the edge I think. I love her because she's my mum but I can't stand her as a person

Jesus Christ, sorry dude. That's shocking
I hope everything works out to some extent :(

 

[bugs_for_brains]

That is a whole lot to process, I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did. I hope you and your sis can be there for each other throughout all this.

thank you, me and my sister are both very upset but this won't change how we feel about each other. We've always been close and supported each other through family issues and I'm sure this will be no different, it's just really shocking atm

Jesus Christ, sorry dude. That's shocking
I hope everything works out to some extent :(

thank you, I hope so too

 

[bugs_for_brains]

update I smoked weed for the 1st time and I'm not mad at mum anymore and my depression is cured this is sick

 

[chocosyrup]

update I smoked weed for the 1st time and I'm not mad at mum anymore and my depression is cured this is sick

you should look into getting it medically in that case

 

[3/4Dead]

Jfc, dude, sorry to hear that, I can't imagine what that feels like.

I agree that if pot helps look into getting a medical card, total godsend when used in moderation.

 

[bugs_for_brains]

you should look into getting it medically in that case

idk how I would do that bc the nhs is my only option and everything I've read says that it's super hard to get in general and even more so if it's not for specific conditions

idk how I would do that bc the nhs is my only option and everything I've read says that it's super hard to get in general and even more so if it's not for specific conditions

I can easily access it myself regardless tho


//


I've decided I'm just never gonna tell my mum that I know. My nan has stage 4 cancer and stress can quite literally kill her bc of her heart at this point so definitely not gonna tell her especially when she's not got much time left anyway. I do really respect the fact that she looked after me when my mum was on cocaine after my birth, even more so after finding out im not her biological grandkid and she never actively planned to have a child yet ended up taking several on (my mum and me)

I feel a lot more resentful towards mum but still kinda just feel bad for her, I think she never wanted me but she's never told me that (even tho it shows in her actions) so I can't be too mad bc at least she tries to hide it. She's made a ton of huge mistakes and never apologises but she also supports me in a lot of ways and I can't help but love her even if I don't really like her as a person. I think telling her I found out abt this is so pointless bc I have no intention of contacting my father and I don't want to ruin my relationship to her completely.

I felt guilty at the thought of keeping this from them but they kept it from me for 18 years and clearly had no intentions of ever telling me so why should I feel bad for doing the same back to them when they clearly find it an acceptable thing to do

 

[kyhoti]

Thanks for sharing this OP. I have had similar plot twists in my life, and I ended up letting them define me, in a way. In retrospect, if I had just said "Well, there's something unexpected" and kept moving towards being the most authentic version of me, I'd have been better off. If you can manage it, feel the feels but leave the fuckery sitting in the ditch instead of adding it to the rest of the things we all normally carry around. GL with the processing, and peace to you.

 

[chocosyrup]

idk how I would do that bc the nhs is my only option and everything I've read says that it's super hard to get in general and even more so if it's not for specific conditions

I can easily access it myself regardless tho

in the UK you need to have had atleast 2 prior prescriptions for your condition (e.g anxiety, depression, PTSD, insomnia, etc) which can either be medicines, surgery, therapy and physiotherapy

after that you sign up to a private medical cannabis clinic which you can find by just searching for them (please do not go to your GP asking for it)

you can then book an appointment and be really honest with how much weed you smoke and how it makes you feel otherwise they probably wont give it to you, make sure you book about 2 or 3 weeks ahead so that they can get all the information from your GP.

after that you should get your prescription for your bud
note: you will have to pay about £30 a year for your prescription but the extra cheap prices of bud are worth it

 

[bugs_for_brains]

in the UK you need to have had atleast 2 prior prescriptions for your condition (e.g anxiety, depression, PTSD, insomnia, etc) which can either be medicines, surgery, therapy and physiotherapy

after that you sign up to a private medical cannabis clinic which you can find by just searching for them (please do not go to your GP asking for it)

you can then book an appointment and be really honest with how much weed you smoke and how it makes you feel otherwise they probably wont give it to you, make sure you book about 2 or 3 weeks ahead so that they can get all the information from your GP.

after that you should get your prescription for your bud
note: you will have to pay about £30 a year for your prescription but the extra cheap prices of bud are worth it

tysm

 

[bugs_for_brains]

Is it even fair for me to be mad at this bc the documents weren't for me despite being *about* me. I feel like this is the last straw and I seriously can't stand my mum as a person but I still cant help but keep thinking it's my fault or I'm being dramatic about everything she does. I don't even know man I'm just done with her. But she's my mum and she raised me so I still have an emotional connection to her even though she's repeatedly hurt me and my sister and is overall not a person I would ever look up to

Why she decided that having 3 children knowing she's incompetent and proceeding to do this shit to us for 18 years is a more morally correct choice than getting an abortion I will never understand

 

[SilentSadness]

That must be very horrible to be lied to like that. Having children only to treat them badly is vile. However, family by blood means nothing anyway. The only thing that should matter is your relationship with the person.