Venting Been in heated arguments irl about SS

[darksideofthebright]

These past few days have been extremely triggering, frustrating and emotionally exhausting and overall just rollercoasters of emotions for after someone accidentally found out I have been on here. This information has been then passed onto other people, and I have had to deal with so many people not only not seeing SS the way I see it but also trying to impose their ideologies on me.

This community has helped me in the way that the rest of the world hasn't been able to. I know it sounds upsetting to people I know irl, but being on SS knowing that I am now having an exit door - the bus (and how to get there) provides me the sense of reassurance for when things turn worse and worse, which is everyday.

Also, being here surrounded by many people who somewhat understand the rationale behind my suicidal thoughts has given me so much comfort. In life, we can never fully understand each other's story; but in a way, many of the people on here are on the same boat, and being able to share my stories with those who are in that same boats just makes me feel so much more understood and heard. While everyone irl is trying to keep me alive (rightfully so), this community is trying to let me be myself and explore my options.

But do they see these points, or are they even trying to see them? No. And I just feel emotionally terrorised by people irl for being a part of SS. Life has been difficult enough and I just don't need this.

 

[ecmnesia]

this person that exposed you: fuck them. it's disgusting what they've done and the pressure they are putting on you. instead of helping that only makes things worse.

i am sorry you have to deal with this. if you need to talk please reach out, i am and this community is here for you. sending lots of hugs.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

Sorry to hear that. Not right that you have had to put up with that. Unfortunately the world is twisted and we will always be seen as wrong. Why is it wrong to end pain and suffering. Why make people do something they are uncomfortable with because they know it's going to mentally destroy them. Are the so called normal people just plain cruel for not being open minded.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Real shame that people are trying to impose their views on you.
I would not consider them friends
You are so right about how much it helps being able to relate to others.

 

[darksideofthebright]

this person that exposed you: fuck them. it's disgusting what they've done and the pressure they are putting on you. instead of helping that only makes things worse.

i am sorry you have to deal with this. if you need to talk please reach out, i am and this community is here for you. sending lots of hugs.

Thank you so much lovely! It's frustrating, because from where they come from, they see what they are doing as helping me. My problem is that I try to see things from everyone's point of view, and sometimes that just exhaust me because I always end up prioritising others' needs and wants ahead of mine.

I will definitely take up your offer haha! And please know I am here for you too!

Sorry to hear that. Not right that you have had to put up with that. Unfortunately the world is twisted and we will always be seen as wrong. Why is it wrong to end pain and suffering. Why make people do something they are uncomfortable with because they know it's going to mentally destroy them. Are the so called normal people just plain cruel for not being open minded.

I know! The other day, my dad told me that I "didn't have the rights to die". He said that as humans, we have the rights to live but no one ever mentions the rights to die because we don't have them (Note in mind he's not only from East Asia, but he's also a traditionalist).

It frustrates me, because let's put it in an example (I know this example is extreme), but if someone refuses to do chemo and wants to stop trying, no one is going to force them into chemo. It's time mental health weighed the same in conversations as physical health.

 

[Gromit-CTB]

Thank you so much lovely! It's frustrating, because from where they come from, they see what they are doing as helping me. My problem is that I try to see things from everyone's point of view, and sometimes that just exhaust me because I always end up prioritising others' needs and wants ahead of mine.

I will definitely take up your offer haha! And please know I am here for you too!


I know! The other day, my dad told me that I "didn't have the rights to die". He said that as humans, we have the rights to live but no one ever mentions the rights to die because we don't have them (Note in mind he's not only from East Asia, but he's also a traditionalist).

It frustrates me, because let's put it in an example (I know this example is extreme), but if someone refuses to do chemo and wants to stop trying, no one is going to force them into chemo. It's time mental health weighed the same in conversations as physical health.

Your example is not extreme it makes complete sense. My father is a proud Roman Catholic from Spain (he eats fish on a Friday that's as far as he goes) said exactly the same words to me on all my attempts and when is was in hospital, I couldn't care less about his opinion, it's my life and I decide what I want.

 

[ecmnesia]

Thank you so much lovely! It's frustrating, because from where they come from, they see what they are doing as helping me. My problem is that I try to see things from everyone's point of view, and sometimes that just exhaust me because I always end up prioritising others' needs and wants ahead of mine.

I will definitely take up your offer haha! And please know I am here for you too!

i feel you.

while i think it's important to listen to other people and try to understand them. your needs and perspectives should come first, no matter what. you should put yourself first, if it's draining you, stop listening to them, stop trying to see things their way. i know this is easier said than done, and i am sorry I have no satisfying advice. but we are the captains of ours ships, the masters of our souls and we need to claim them.

i've learned in school that an injured doctor can help no one. and i think that applies to life in general. to consider people's point of view you need to consider yours first. sending lots of love. and please do contact with you need.

 

[VtubersAreMyLife]

Im sorry you are dealing with this. I too find comfort in being in this forum, I've been to a lot of forums (Reddit, etc) where it Isn't quite like the safety, comfort and comradery I get here. I'm very happy I found this forum, and you shouldn't let others impose their ideologies on you just because they don't understand what you are going through.

 

[darksideofthebright]

Your example is not extreme it makes complete sense. My father is a proud Roman Catholic from Spain (he eats fish on a Friday that's as far as he goes) said exactly the same words to me on all my attempts and when is was in hospital, I couldn't care less about his opinion, it's my life and I decide what I want.

I am so sorry that you have had to hear the same thing, especially when you are at your low points! And exactly, I brought that up with my dad, who then went to say that I owed my life to my parents (when I literally never asked to be born to begin with) and guilt-tripped me.

i've learned in school that an injured doctor can help no one. and i think that applies to life in general. to consider people's point of view you need to consider yours first

That's such a nice saying! I have been trying to say the same thing to others that they should always prioritise themselves over others, especially in moments of crisis; yet I have never been able to do so haha. I should definitely take my own advice sometimes.

Thank you so much for your kind words!

 

[Gromit-CTB]

I am so sorry that you have had to hear the same thing, especially when you are at your low points! And exactly, I brought that up with my dad, who then went to say that I owed my life to my parents (when I literally never asked to be born to begin with) and guilt-tripped me.

Ah the guilt trip always nice that one. Last attempt I did left a note saying sorry I was a disappointment to you. Never been able to live that one down. Hopefully in a few days I will be off this rock and free of everyone

 

[darksideofthebright]

Ah the guilt trip always nice that one. Last attempt I did left a note saying sorry I was a disappointment to you. Never been able to live that one down. Hopefully in a few days I will be off this rock and free of everyone

I've said it before and I will say it again: I really hope you can find the peacefulness and happiness you so deserve, with whatever you decide to do! I know we can never control over our birth, but having control over how we leave this cold cruel world just makes us feel slightly more at ease with life (Just have to get SI out of the way ).

 

[Gromit-CTB]

I've said it before and I will say it again: I really hope you can find the peacefulness and happiness you so deserve, with whatever you decide to do! I know we can never control over our birth, but having control over how we leave this cold cruel world just makes us feel slightly more at ease with life (Just have to get SI out of the way ).

Thank you same to you.

Having the exit control is vital. I will make sure I tackle the upcoming SI when on route to location, this time the body has nothing to guilt trip me with, everything is gone.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

i'm so sorry your friends have betrayed you like this and tried to make you feel guilty or bad for sharing your thoughts and feelings, many people truly don't understand why having a community like this is vital to us. Being able to express oneself without fearing punishment.

 

[darksideofthebright]

i'm so sorry your friends have betrayed you like this and tried to make you feel guilty or bad for sharing your thoughts and feelings, many people truly don't understand why having a community like this is vital to us. Being able to express oneself without fearing punishment.

I told people that in a way, I feel SAVED as I found SS, and people immediately made it out like I was crazy or that I wasn't thinking straight. It's frustrating that people say they want to help, yet they refuse to hear our stories or put themselves in our shoes. We are not even asking them to understand our thought processes, we are just merely asking them to LISTEN.

 

[HenryHobkins]

are you worried they could see your post history now that they know about the site and could identify your account based on the IRL context you provided?

 

[darksideofthebright]

are you worried they could see your post history now that they know about the site and could identify your account based on the IRL context you provided?

Am I worried? I don't think I am.

I stand by what I have said, and I've never encouraged or push someone to ctb, so I am not doing anything illegal. Morally speaking, them knowing about me here won't change anything, because I cannot really be sectioned, as I still have the mental capability to make my own decisions and I am not diagnosed with any disorders. If anything, I hope they see this and understand what kind of stress they are putting me through. (Though I don't have much hope really)