Discussion Been ill and it’s odd

[Read123456788]

Hey all, hope you're all coping as well as we can.
I've had a really bad throat infection recently. I went for the antibiotics purely because it's just painful but not life threatening and I plan to ctb this June depending on what happens with this virus.
I got penicillin antibiotics and painkillers etc and I'm now just sat listening to some ELO thinking about ctb.
I have been back and forth on committing to ctb but as I'm sat here now I'm just feeling like I'm totally at peace with it and ready for it. It's a strange feeling but feel quite happy for the first time in a long while.
I'm going with the belief / hope of being reunited with my husband and if it falls through and it doesn't happen then heck I won't even know but if there is a chance then I'll all up for it.

I have for the last year tried to induce a heart attack but I'm 25 and I am a healthy BMI so suppose it's harder with no conditions. So no luck yet haha so I plan to go with CO in my husbands car as mine is worth more so would rather leave it behind haha.

 

[faust]

I am sorry you experience a loss in your life...
I see you registered in August, so you probably have faced a lot of struggles and now it is kind of a breaking point.
No matter what your final decision is, I wish you all the best and let the wind of peace surround you...

 

[Donk]

sorry to hear bout the lost of your husband. i read that if done properly CO is a peaceful way to go. im glad you found happiness despite all you've gone through. im sure your husband is looking from above and will support your decision in june.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I love ELO.

 

[Read123456788]

Thanks @idonk yeah I remember telling him that would happen if he ever went before me. It's too much not to do so X

I love ELO.

The irony is I have tickets (finally) to see them live but it will be after I'm hopefully dead ffs. Just my luck hahaha!!

 

[Hoopali]

Hey all, hope you're all coping as well as we can.
I've had a really bad throat infection recently. I went for the antibiotics purely because it's just painful but not life threatening and I plan to ctb this June depending on what happens with this virus.
I got penicillin antibiotics and painkillers etc and I'm now just sat listening to some ELO thinking about ctb.
I have been back and forth on committing to ctb but as I'm sat here now I'm just feeling like I'm totally at peace with it and ready for it. It's a strange feeling but feel quite happy for the first time in a long while.
I'm going with the belief / hope of being reunited with my husband and if it falls through and it doesn't happen then heck I won't even know but if there is a chance then I'll all up for it.

I have for the last year tried to induce a heart attack but I'm 25 and I am a healthy BMI so suppose it's harder with no conditions. So no luck yet haha so I plan to go with CO in my husbands car as mine is worth more so would rather leave it behind haha.

I completely hear you on this. I hope my fiancée is waiting for me too. My thought is that ctb may not definitely mean I will be with her but it definitely means I won't have to live without her, and that's almost as good.

 

[Read123456788]

I completely hear you on this. I hope my fiancée is waiting for me too. My thought is that ctb may not definitely mean I will be with her but it definitely means I won't have to live without her, and that's almost as good.

Yep exactly that Hoopali I'm so sorry you're in the same position as me. I feel like everyday is a nightmare that won't end so like you I want to take that slight chance of seeing him again. Always here if you want a chat X
Well not always hopefully haha!