Venting “Becoming an adult” makes me want to die… it’s a weird feeling

[spiritflowerchan]

I graduated HS around 3 months ago now. I do not feel prepared for adulthood, but something in me is forcing to do so and I hate it. I'm fine with adult life, but everything about it seems depressing and lifeless to me. Maybe as someone who's 18 that doesn't really know much about shit in life I should stop being afraid but this feeling is taking over me. I don't want to work just to feed myself. I don't want to be a slave to some company. I don't want to grow up and outlive my parents. I don't want to be alone with this.

I feel so guilty, because I honestly just feel like a lazy piece of shit right now. And I don't want people to know me as a person who just wants to sit around doing nothing and being a completely worthless bum. I can't handle this new reality that I'm about to be thrown into.

 

[nir]

I definitely felt this when I turned 18. Your mileage may vary, but I feel happier now at 26 than at 18 fwiw (still depressed, but my brain functions better. I think it's the fact your prefrontal cortex develops fully by age 25).

Are you planning on college/university? My best advice is to continue to have hobbies, no matter what they are. I gave up on some hobbies when I got really depressed and it's soooo hard to pick them back up again. The happiest adults I know are people who have things they do outside of work - hobbies, friend groups, nerdy shit. That stuff keeps them alive and mentally healthy. Never underestimate the power of a good time, even if it's something that others would consider "frivolous" or geeky. The world really prioritises hustle culture right now, but I think we should prioritise working enough to make a living and then throwing ourselves at what makes us happy. Don't work yourself to the bone because you're an adult now.

 

[spiritflowerchan]

I definitely felt this when I turned 18. Your mileage may vary, but I feel happier now at 26 than at 18 fwiw (still depressed, but my brain functions better. I think it's the fact your prefrontal cortex develops fully by age 25).

Are you planning on college/university? My best advice is to continue to have hobbies, no matter what they are. I gave up on some hobbies when I got really depressed and it's soooo hard to pick them back up again. The happiest adults I know are people who have things they do outside of work - hobbies, friend groups, nerdy shit. That stuff keeps them alive and mentally healthy. Never underestimate the power of a good time, even if it's something that others would consider "frivolous" or geeky. The world really prioritises hustle culture right now, but I think we should prioritise working enough to make a living and then throwing ourselves at what makes us happy. Don't work yourself to the bone because you're an adult now.

I'm planning to go to community college then a normal college after to save some money.

And I'll see if I can try to focus more on my hobbies… I'm trying pretty hard and I think I'm doing good because some days this feeling does go away.

 

[drug]

I know where you're coming from. Posted on another thread about the same thing. I can't see myself working for the rest of my life just to feed myself and have a few vacations here and there. I know I'll never be able to retire early, especially in todays economy.. it's so depressing to think about.

 

[nir]

I'm planning to go to community college then a normal college after to save some money.

And I'll see if I can try to focus more on my hobbies… I'm trying pretty hard and I think I'm doing good because some days this feeling does go away.

Very smart choice with the college plan! It's also a good sign that the feeling can go away. I hope that you get to a place where you feel fulfilled enough that you don't need to visit this website anymore, but until then, we'll be here for ya :)

It's really normal to be scared of being an adult. I still feel weird being a proper grown-up now. But I know that most people feel like this, and I know that being older means I get more freedom than I had as a kid/teenager. I get to live alone now. I get to make my own decisions, which was scary at first, but so freeing now!

You shouldn't feel guilty and you're not a lazy piece of shit. You're 18, which is arguably the hardest age you'll ever be considering how much pressure there is and how many changes you're going through. I wish you the best and I want you to know I don't think you're a piece of shit. You're just 18 in a scary world. It's not your fault you feel like this and I hope the world is nothing but kind to you.

 

[Grimpoteuthis]

Sometimes I can't believe that I am already 19 and I feel your pain. Adulting stuff is literally devouring all the personal time I used to have and occupying my mind 24/7. It is horrifying to imagine living a life that is not even dedicated to myself for the rest of my life, even though I am already one of the fortunate people who is financially comfortable.