Method Baclofen, xanax, gabapentin and alcohol

[Centerism]

Hey family,
So today I am rethinking my "method" to make sure I won't f#@k it up again.

Today I took 80mg of baclofen (a powerful muscle relaxer), 6 600mg gabapentin (strictly for the euphoria effects), a handful of Xanax and drank half a bottle of white rum.

The reason I did this is to judge how different substances will numb my anxiety and fear that comes along with my final act.

My original method was to party my way into death by heroin overdose. Now though I think I'll go for partial or night, night method.

I feel absolutely numb along with a great sense of peace and euphoric gentleness. My instinct to survive is definitely become scarce. And I don't feel as if I could even begin to achieve a peaceful death.

I've been pressing rolled up socks against my carotid and I can feel that sense of falling into bliss as my eyes close to this world and open to darkness. Finality.

The combining of substances to numb your fight or flight instinct is definitely possible. I still will experiment with different substances, and I will try to find that perfect combination.

So for now I can say this will work. Maybe if I repeat this method before I ctb it will be joyful for me in the end.

To everybody here, I love you. More than you'll ever know. And if it is your time to go, just know I'm with you. I'll love you all the way to the end and I will support you and give you the sense that you're understood. You are all my family. Thank you.

Sorry, I'm kinda high and I'm sure I'm rambling. My fault.

 

[Stan]

I am pleased for you that right now you are not in the pain that has brought you to this point. Thoughts and hopes are with you

 

[Fragile]

yea, this cocktail definitely sounds like something that will numb anyone's survival instinct.

love you too, your positivity is greatly appreciated in this community!

 

[KiraComplex]

Hey family,
So today I am rethinking my "method" to make sure I won't f#@k it up again.

Today I took 80mg of baclofen (a powerful muscle relaxer), 6 600mg gabapentin (strictly for the euphoria effects), a handful of Xanax and drank half a bottle of white rum.

The reason I did this is to judge how different substances will numb my anxiety and fear that comes along with my final act.

My original method was to party my way into death by heroin overdose. Now though I think I'll go for partial or night, night method.

I feel absolutely numb along with a great sense of peace and euphoric gentleness. My instinct to survive is definitely become scarce. And I don't feel as if I could even begin to achieve a peaceful death.

I've been pressing rolled up socks against my carotid and I can feel that sense of falling into bliss as my eyes close to this world and open to darkness. Finality.

The combining of substances to numb your fight or flight instinct is definitely possible. I still will experiment with different substances, and I will try to find that perfect combination.

So for now I can say this will work. Maybe if I repeat this method before I ctb it will be joyful for me in the end.

To everybody here, I love you. More than you'll ever know. And if it is your time to go, just know I'm with you. I'll love you all the way to the end and I will support you and give you the sense that you're understood. You are all my family. Thank you.

Sorry, I'm kinda high and I'm sure I'm rambling. My fault.

where do you get the Xanax??? doctors prescribe me other shit instead and its starting to piss me off :/
kaiser doesnt allow xanax anymore.

 

[GinaIsReady]

Hopefully you don't end up in an in-patient situation, unless that is what you want.

 

[Centerism]

I am pleased for you that right now you are not in the pain that has brought you to this point. Thoughts and hopes are with you

Thank you @Stan
I'm actually happy right now. Simply Because I have found my way out in a painless and peaceful method. Things are gonna work out for me. I am so pleased with death at my doorstep.

yea, this cocktail definitely sounds like something that will numb anyone's survival instinct.

love you too, your positivity is greatly appreciated in this community!

@Fragile
Thank you. I'm trying My hardest to let this community know they are appreciated. You are my new family. Since all of my actual family has left me, I'm adopting a new family here. We all have the same goal and we all understand each other. I think that understanding is what truly unites is.

Thank you. Your awesome.

where do you get the Xanax??? doctors prescribe me other shit instead and its starting to piss me off :/
kaiser doesnt allow xanax anymore.

My psych prescribes me Xanax for agoraphobia. I used to get klonopin. But I told them out didn't work well for me so he prescribed me 2mg Xanax bars. I don't know why it's hard to get in your area.

Message me and we can talk. I know how to hey you whatever you need to ctb.

Love you

Hopefully you don't end up in an in-patient situation, unless that is what you want.

I'm trying to stay away from any inpatient scenarios. I've been committed so many times that it's just normal for me.

Attempt suicide, fail, end up in hospital icu for a few days, get admitted, spend a week in an impatient setting and get out to try again.

That seems to be my life. So while I seem to constantly fail I'm happy to admit that instead of feeling hopelessand broken I will spread as much love as I can while I'm still here. It went be long now when i ctb. I just want everybody to know that I understand your fight. I support your cause. I love you regardless of anything that might be in the way of true emotional fight you may be experiencing.

Thank you for being you.
@GinaIsReady @KiraComplex @Fragile @Stan

You are all My family. Thank you for being the best people I have met in my shy life.

I am so messed up right now. I took another 40mg of baclofen and 400mg seroquel. I think this is the perfect state to ctb peacefully. I know if I had the tools to either be gone with night, night or partial. I am perfectly sedated. I can barely walk and I'm having trouble holding my phone. But I feel as if I had a rope or some gorilla tape id definitely be on my way to the peaceful darkness, nothingness.

You all are great. I love each and every one of you with all of my heart. You're a perfect bunch of individuals. You're my family. Thank you for being the person you are on this inside. Your not scarred. And deep inside you're the perfect being.

Thank you all.
I Love you, family.