Venting Back again..

[nihilism44]

I haven't posted here in a while.. I've been trying everything I can to make myself want to live, especially for my partner and my dad. I genuinely think it would ruin both of their lives if I ctb. I started taking new medication. I tried to start dieting and exercising. I was thriving at work for a few months. I always find myself back to the same place. Drinking alcohol/eating excessively and laying in bed all day, calling out of work, I stop cleaning my apartment, I stop showering, and I obsessively lurk this website daydreaming about ctb. I stop talking to everyone that I don't live with. I stop enjoying everything. I feel like such a burden. The worst part is when I get like this is I can barely even take care of my dog properly and he suffers for it, I can only find the motivation to take him for a walk once a day, if that. He pisses on the floor and my partner cleans up the mess half the time because I don't get up from my bed. I'm absolutely disgusting. I can't live like this and I can't make other people's lives difficult and confusing anymore. I don't know what else to do.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I know that it can be awful when things just get worse. This life really can be so depressing. I wish you the best in whatever happens and I hope you find relief from your suffering.

 

[western_heart]

I keep coming back here too. My GF basically takes care of me at this point, I would not be eating if she didn't do the shopping and make meals.

 

[lyles]

I am right here with you, though I am sorry you are dealing with this sort of suffering. I am sending you my best wishes in your journey.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I understand you so well.

I've been in a similar situation where I also wouldn't get out of bed or do anything and it created social anxiety for me by never leaving the house.

I know that recovery is difficult and is truly a roller coaster ride.

Give the medicines a chance, they don't start working right away. Maybe later they'll even help you. It has helped me a lot.

Eating well also helps. Working out I can't, not anytime soon. I just go for walks once in a while.

Be patient with yourself, you don't have to be able to do everything all of a sudden. Take your time.

Focus on the most essential things, like work, eat, sleep, shower, etc.

I hope you can turn this situation around. Nevertheless, I wish you the best.

 

[wljourney]

I understand you so well.

I've been in a similar situation where I also wouldn't get out of bed or do anything and it created social anxiety for me by never leaving the house.

I know that recovery is difficult and is truly a roller coaster ride.

Give the medicines a chance, they don't start working right away. Maybe later they'll even help you. It has helped me a lot.

Eating well also helps. Working out I can't, not anytime soon. I just go for walks once in a while.

Be patient with yourself, you don't have to be able to do everything all of a sudden. Take your time.

Focus on the most essential things, like work, eat, sleep, shower, etc.

I hope you can turn this situation around. Nevertheless, I wish you the best.

@onlyanimalsaregood said it so well.

I've been there, kinda still am. What helps is planning just one thing per day.
A single chore: shower today, make something to eat tomorrow, one load of laundry (not multiple) the day after…

Break it up into 20-30 min increments.

Setting the bar low enough to not get overwhelmed and know that it's ok to go back to bed after just 20 min of [insert chore here] enables me to get just the basics done.

That's all we can do.
One little step at a time.

 

[Graytaichi]

We are in hell right now. Just that we are born selfish to look at the world around us.

 

[VapeAway]

I'm almost in tears while reading this. It's like you described my situation. I'm also trying to live for my partner and my dad. But my recovery attempts failed, I feel like shit, I can barely get out of my bed, I cope with food and alcohol, I have pets, but I've no energy to interact with them a lot. I give them food, water and toys everyday, but I can barely have the energy to play with them (but they feel good having each other and they don't need me or want me anyway lol). My boyfriend helps me with stuff, but I feel so guilty, useless... And I don't have strength to get up:( I don't even have the energy to put dishes into the dishwasher machine. I'm sorry, I can't give you an advice, but I know what it's like and I can understand your situation...