Good question. It would certainly make me think twice. I am not religious and have never believed in an afterlife but thinking of death I do have some fear that if there is life after death it could be a whole lot worse.
The reason I chunk it out into several questions was to hopefully help you sense a bit instead of simply think and understand.
Thing is, buddhists have for about 2600 years thought that life sucked with all it's meaningless suffering, and to end that suffering they do an empirical experiment called insight meditation to vanquish the illusion of self (attain enlightenment).
Various schools have various ways and methods to achieve this end (enlightenment), but to say it simply by quoting a zen monk:
"No self = No problems".
This is not some hokey woo woo spiritual alternative to suicide.
This is premium, top-shelf, luxurious and very thorough suicide.
To really determine if ctb is the best course of action we would need perfect certainty of the death and potential afterlife etc.
Without that, enlightenment is the best way to hedge bets.
Less suffering right now, later in life and after death (if you believe the magical thinking of buddhism).
Take it for a spin: Find where your sense of self is located.
Most people feel it as inside their skin, behind and between their eyes; the brain as a knot of tension.
OK, relax that knot of tension. Take your time, let it soften, expand, dilute, vanish.
It may happen in a second or a minute. If you fully relax that knot of "self", your suffering changes along with it. Maybe even stops temporarily.
There is no way i'll ever believe in any god, computer simulation, afterlife, soul , reincarnation, magic , anything supernatural .
i believe me a human is just a machine an animal a bug, that first cell all life descended from.
Scientists have pushed back LUCA’s origin by hundreds of millions of years.
www.popularmechanics.com
why would a god care what an animal like me does from moment to moment?
Why is that an ant crawling to the left instead of the right important or that "i" wash clothes or take out the trash ? I think evolution and the culture / society programed our brain to think any of this , the world , or the universe or that i or we are anything or important valuable . what objective meaning could any action i take have . what objective meaning could life have ? life is meaningless suffering.
The only real thing to me is extreme pain and avoiding extreme pain through suicide
I agree completely, life is suffering, god is a complete prick (if real, which I as an ex christian hope not), and meaning exists nowhere outside the minds of people and is thus relative and arbitrary.
Buddhists generally agree.
I am sorry that you are in extreme pain, and wish for it to be over forever for you.
Are we talking physical or emotional pain?
Have had a fair amount of both and it's brutal.