Avoiding Suicide is impossible

[noname223]

For me it seems like no matter what choice in my life i will take suicide seems unavoidable. Only a miracle could avoid it. I did not choose the wrong path. I never fucked up my life. Instead other people destroyed my life. It is like i am in a story of Kafka. it is like i am in a cage and more and more the cage becomes smaller.

Do you share this feeling?

 

[Life_and_Death]

it sounds to me like you are in a toxic relationship if other people are destroying your life. did you ever try talking to them or leaving?

 

[noname223]

No, something happened in my childhood which caused a mental illness. I talked a lot about it but it does not change anything.
It caused a bipolar disorder which does not allow me to work and gives me daily severe depression. My biggest hope is an UBI in 20 years or the improvement of the welfare state in my homecountry.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I feel the same way. Unless my fundamental mental problems can be corrected I'll always end up back here.

 

[noname223]

I wanna postpone death as long as possible. Even if i am in a horrible condition i am doing fine financially. I will endure this torture for my friends and family as long as possible

 

[Cherrypea]

Yes for me it feels fated. I've been working up to it my whole life and it feels inevitable.

 

[foxdie]

I feel as if I've been destined to ctb. For as long as I can remember...

 

[noname223]

I have suicidal thoughts since i am 15. It is like a big part of my personality. In school i advocated always assisted dying.

 

[softfuzzyman]

Same... it feels inevitable and I know someday it's gonna be how I go. I've been obsessed with it since the very beginning and telling myself I won't make it past 9... then I won't make it past 12... then I won't make it past 15... then 18... then 21... here I am at 24 and thinking I hope I don't make it past 25

 

[cyberlordsumit]

For me it seems like no matter what choice in my life i will take suicide seems unavoidable. Only a miracle could avoid it. I did not choose the wrong path. I never fucked up my life. Instead other people destroyed my life. It is like i am in a story of Kafka. it is like i am in a cage and more and more the cage becomes smaller.

Do you share this feeling?

i feel exactly THIS. 100%

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Sooner or later I'll do it although I know that there are people who live with suicidal thoughts are their lives and never commit. One thing is thinking about it and one thing is doing it.

 

[Sensei]

I'm bipolar too and the depressive episodes break me, if they haven't broken me already. May I ask, how many medicines have you tried?

 

[noname223]

I have tried a lot. And i will try more. I do not know all the English names of these drugs but i tried 4-5 antidepressants, soon a mood stabilizer, and many, many antipsychotics because i have psychosis too. For example Wellbutrin, Venlafaxine, Amitriptyline etc.

 

[Sensei]

I have tried a lot. And i will try more. I do not know all the English names of these drugs but i tried 4-5 antidepressants, soon a mood stabilizer, and many, many antipsychotics because i have psychosis too. For example Wellbutrin, Venlafaxine, Amitriptyline etc.

That's a lot indeed. There are almost twenty medicines used for treating bipolar disorder so there are many combinations to try. I hope they'll find one which works for you so you don't have to go through depressive episodes again.