I'm autistic too but I don't understand the melt downs... I feel sorry for you.
This really isn't a very helpful response? :\ Pretty sure OP is seeking understanding, not pity.
Anyway, OP, I completely understand. I'm autistic, too. I've had countless meltdowns, oftentimes "ignited" by seemingly trivial issues like losing something or having plans changed last minute. I've even had meltdowns in public where I'm crying and even sobbing in front of strangers like a little kid. It's sooo embarrassing...but it's not something we can 100% control. It comes with the territory. It's embarrassing as hell when the tension melts and you're left exhausted after having a nuclear meltdown