Venting Autistic life (nothing but complaining)

[DoNotLet2]

This post is just complaining so if you don't like reading such posts, don't keep reading it.
Countless stressful/hurtful situations... But they aren't so severe so you shouldn't care about them. Take it easy man. Take them all easy... so you avoid caring about your almost entire life. You fail at everything but you mustn't care because other people have it worse. You're bullied at school?! Be glad you go to school at all! There are millions of teenagers who don't have that privilege!
So be holding on be holding on be holding on...
WHAT AM I HOLDING ON FOR? I feel like I'm just preserving myself. But for what? For nothing?
I despise my life. Trying 300x harder to achieve normal life? Why do I have to deal with problems normal people don't have to? Yes I used the word normal because there are normal people. The fact that you don't like something as much as normal people do, maybe a little less, doesn't make you not normal!
I want to have it easy. Test for a drive license? It's not a serious life problem. Maybe a little bit if you get stressed easily. No, not all people have it hard.
So what is it for? I mean life doesn't have to make sense. I just want to... I just don't want to suffer pointlessly.

 

[EndItQuickly]

Sorry you're going through that. I too, struggle with finding a point to all the struggle and anguish that is modern daily life. I'm not autistic so I can only imagine how much worse things are from your perspective:/ if you want someone to talk to I'll be on.

 

[realjunes]

DNL2 - I don't think you are complaining, you are explaining, about your life and the people in your life. I honestly do not know whether people who make such inane comments to you are glib, smug, ignorant, or uncaring, maybe all. It really annoys me to hear these superficial replies you have to hear all the time. You suffer enough in life, without these comments. I am truly sorry you have to deal with this. But as I said, do not feel you are complaining on this forum. I feel one purpose of this forum is to receive the life experiences of other members, and share our own, and achieve some kind of symbiosis so we all have a place of acceptance here. So thank you for sharing today.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Awww thank you for your replies you're all so empathic <3
I mean I can't speak for all Autistic people because my autism is slightly different. I don't overreact to sound stimuli or touch stimuli. I just completely lack social skills. It's like trying to speak Chinese without knowing a single Chinese word.

 

[riverstyx]

I can't fault you for complaining. Seen from a certain perspective, life is an lovecraftian nightmare devoid of purpose and meaning. Having a disability only makes it worse.

Human are irrational and spiritually Ill, and even if you find yourself well adjusted to society it's no mark of strength or quality on your behalf.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Nice quote :) thanks for being nice
Actually, I don't feel disabled. I feel I'm lacking knowledge that everybody has and I find it hard to get. Idk. I was raised as an able-bodied person, never had adjustments. Well, almost never, there were times I had it eased but most of the time I was treated like neurotypicals.

 

[Thatdude]

You're bullied at school?

Just a heads up. In my personal experience, many jobs this will happen too. I was once fired because my boss seen me get bullied so badly that they thought I would've killed myself if they didn't get rid of me. Like I guess it was that or actually have the adults start acting like adults.

One of my problems with being autistic is how painful it is to get jobs. I have a ton of certs, 4 degrees, and so on. But it's a nightmare for be to just get beyond the interview stage. And then keeping the job, it's a pain too.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Just a heads up. In my personal experience, many jobs this will happen too. I was once fired because my boss seen me get bullied so badly that they thought I would've killed myself if they didn't get rid of me. Like I guess it was that or actually have the adults start acting like adults.

Sorry I don't understand that.
I feel sorry for you, luckily I am too young (highschool student) to work so I don't have such experience.

 

[Thatdude]

Sorry I don't understand that.
I feel sorry for you, luckily I am too young (highschool student) to work so I don't have such experience.

My point is, bullies don't stop just because school is over and they moved on to the work force. The ones i was dealing with was around 45 or so, and I was 20 something at the time.

Now it should be noted that different industries and different level of jobs you have less or none of this. That particular job was manufacturing. But I've been in a number of other jobs where I haven't seen any of that. Like when I was a janitor, when I was a IT person, and some coding I didn't see that. However I've heard of stories in some places. Like there is the normal business backstabbing, but it seems the higher paying the job is. The less you have to deal with that.

It should be noted that I worked a bunch of odd jobs in the past. And I seen where companies will abuse you just because. At one point I was making $8 a week because I didn't know better. That's when I was cleaning toilets and floors. Where I was told not to log my hours.
I mean I know better now, but you need to soak up as much info now if you're going to live. And you need to note 1 major thing.
It doesn't matter if it's your teacher, parent, etc. At the end of the day you are the one who has to make the choice. They can recommend you to do anything, but you have to live with the outcome. And at the end, they will have their jobs and what not even if things don't work out with what they recommend.

Another saying that might help you is "distrust, verify, and stays suspicious." Distrust what is being said, verify to see if it is true, and stay suspicious since it might become a false statement later on.

I'm telling you this because if you do end up staying alive. Then it will get worse if you don't take precautions now. Like going to job boards to see what jobs pay a bit, that you can do, and that you might want to do. And then research the job and what it takes to get there. If you're like me and you want to go into the military. Look at the restrictions. (You have to get a waver, and in many cases you won't be let in due to that alone. I fucked myself over by assuming I could get in.)
Like if you leave things up for chance like people are most likely having you do now. There is a much much much higher chance things won't work out. Autism has a huge gap in unemployment or under employment than any other disability. Even if you do manage to get a STEM degree (this is coming from someone with 4 of them).

NOTE: you will come across sayings later in your life like if you image yourself doing it, then you can. Well the guy who jumps off a roof because he image himself flying proved that wrong.
Use logic to cut through the BS, and keep extreme control of your emotions.

 

[DoNotLet2]

My point is, bullies don't stop just because school is over and they moved on to the work force. The ones i was dealing with was around 45 or so, and I was 20 something at the time.

Now it should be noted that different industries and different level of jobs you have less or none of this. That particular job was manufacturing. But I've been in a number of other jobs where I haven't seen any of that. Like when I was a janitor, when I was a IT person, and some coding I didn't see that. However I've heard of stories in some places. Like there is the normal business backstabbing, but it seems the higher paying the job is. The less you have to deal with that.

It should be noted that I worked a bunch of odd jobs in the past. And I seen where companies will abuse you just because. At one point I was making $8 a week because I didn't know better. That's when I was cleaning toilets and floors. Where I was told not to log my hours.
I mean I know better now, but you need to soak up as much info now if you're going to live. And you need to note 1 major thing.
It doesn't matter if it's your teacher, parent, etc. At the end of the day you are the one who has to make the choice. They can recommend you to do anything, but you have to live with the outcome. And at the end, they will have their jobs and what not even if things don't work out with what they recommend.

Another saying that might help you is "distrust, verify, and stays suspicious." Distrust what is being said, verify to see if it is true, and stay suspicious since it might become a false statement later on.

I'm telling you this because if you do end up staying alive. Then it will get worse if you don't take precautions now. Like going to job boards to see what jobs pay a bit, that you can do, and that you might want to do. And then research the job and what it takes to get there. If you're like me and you want to go into the military. Look at the restrictions. (You have to get a waver, and in many cases you won't be let in due to that alone. I fucked myself over by assuming I could get in.)
Like if you leave things up for chance like people are most likely having you do now. There is a much much much higher chance things won't work out. Autism has a huge gap in unemployment or under employment than any other disability. Even if you do manage to get a STEM degree (this is coming from someone with 4 of them).

NOTE: you will come across sayings later in your life like if you image yourself doing it, then you can. Well the guy who jumps off a roof because he image himself flying proved that wrong.
Use logic to cut through the BS, and keep extreme control of your emotions.

Well I feel sorry for you but don't make me afraid please.