Ruffian

Ruffian

Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
Jan 16, 2019
696
Please post a brief history of what brought you here. Really tragic events. I'm tired of Suicide Prevention focusing only on the act itself. Suicide is ultimately a mental health issue if you're not in chronic pain or terminally ill. We will never beat the Bieber's asses by trying to reason with an uptight, prissy state rep who I could mop the floor with intellectually. I don't do physical violence outside of gym because it wouldn't be fair.

This is ultimately about mental health and how we are treated like shit. We already have eyes all over us, so let's let people see how much we truly suffer.

 
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LuzurPhagget

LuzurPhagget

Experienced
Sep 15, 2019
288
I just feel stuck and can't grow as a person. I feel like I've been going in circles for at least 10 years. Never been in a relationship and just feel tired and too stupid to change. I have trouble with basic cognitive functioning and even speaking and following conversations is too much for me. And I just don't enjoy living too much.
 
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clownangel

clownangel

Student
Sep 25, 2019
122
(Almost started a thread re:autism earlier - I know we supposedly have a higher suicide rate - which I don't doubt at all, but no one ever talks about whys.)

My brains not firing off great answer wise atm so I'll check back lmao.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,813
What really brought me here was before in the past, I had struggles with thoughts of wishing I were dead and then on top of that, all the places except here (and even before this forum was created, it was Reddit's subreddit SS before Reddit went and banned the subreddit along with other similar ones.) have anti-suicide sentiments and attitudes. For a naive person it would almost be too easy to see that suicide prevention is a good thing, however, when it comes to people who are chronically suicidal and rationally considered suicide, it all didn't add up. I'm a deep thinker and I have a lot of introspection for myself (probably due to my autism and Aspergers, and just fyi, yes I was officially diagnosed with Aspergers when I was a teenager in HS.), so I started to question the status quo and somehow, I stumbled upon Reddit's r/SS before it got shutdown and then eventually I found solace on this platform, where it is free of censorship and also contains likeminded people, those who have already accepted that suicide is an option and possibly even going through with it. I'd say that I found some sense of belonging when I joined over a year ago, it was like I finally found people that I can be 100% honest about (barring personal details for safety and privacy) my suicidal ideation and also the best form of coping is here, not with the therapists or people IRL. In fact, even talking about death or suicide would only raise suspicions and invite unwanted attention and meddling into my life (making it even more uncomfortable due to lack of agency and privacy).

Furthermore, yes I agree with you that it is wrong and oftenly short sighted that people focus on only on suicide prevention and almost never the causes that push someone to want to consider suicide in the first place. The premise is that they believe that for anyone to consider suicide, regardless of circumstance is always irrational and that irrational people are UNABLE to make decisions for themselves. That's ironic since by that logic, we should excuse ALL criminals who commit crimes because they were irrational and thus can't be accountable, but of course, they don't think that way. Instead they think that if someone commits a crime then they are guilt as sin and should be dealt with accordingly. In fact, we treat suspected criminals a bit better than suicidal people which is even sadder. But those are different topics for other threads so I won't go too far on that tangent.
 
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Lethe

Lethe

Fey
Sep 19, 2019
670
Everyone used to suspect me of Asperger's, though I feel like I've gotten a little better at doing the crap that neurotypical people are into (eye contact, small talk, etc.).
 
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Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Enlightened
Sep 14, 2019
1,325
I'm here because I have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome which is the highest ranking pain condition in medical history. I've had it for 14 years. I'm 34. So I got it at 20, and missed out on everything life has to offer. I've never been in love or have known love. The physical pain is just too great that people actually have their limbs amputated to try and help themselves but surgery makes it worse. It's gotten to the point where I have absolutely no quality of life. I'm existing not living. The pain is wicked and brutal. Only someone with crps could understand. I am the only person doctors have seen that have it inside their ears, outside the ear, in the face, neck, head, jaw, and vaginal area. I have no hope for a future.the dcktes made that very clear but I knew that a long time ago.
 
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Can'tStandAnymore

Can'tStandAnymore

Custom title
Mar 16, 2019
234
I don't know if it's selfish to say, but, being neuroatypical is one of the hardest thing on the earth. People complains about several physical or psychological problems making their lives hard, but in the end of the day, every of them has a friend or relative to talk with and share their pains. Even the most antisocial ones has at least online friends, they are not completely isolated from outer world like us.

Because of the socializing is one of the main need of humanbeings, I don't understand why we exist at all.
 
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Ko9

Ko9

Student
Jun 30, 2019
159
I have autism. Pretty socially blind and fucking stupid. It is not the fact that I have autism that brings me here, it is just that I can't get over the fact I really fucking hate myself.
 
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Ruffian

Ruffian

Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
Jan 16, 2019
696
What really brought me here was before in the past, I had struggles with thoughts of wishing I were dead and then on top of that, all the places except here (and even before this forum was created, it was Reddit's subreddit SS before Reddit went and banned the subreddit along with other similar ones.) have anti-suicide sentiments and attitudes. For a naive person it would almost be too easy to see that suicide prevention is a good thing, however, when it comes to people who are chronically suicidal and rationally considered suicide, it all didn't add up. I'm a deep thinker and I have a lot of introspection for myself (probably due to my autism and Aspergers, and just fyi, yes I was officially diagnosed with Aspergers when I was a teenager in HS.), so I started to question the status quo and somehow, I stumbled upon Reddit's r/SS before it got shutdown and then eventually I found solace on this platform, where it is free of censorship and also contains likeminded people, those who have already accepted that suicide is an option and possibly even going through with it. I'd say that I found some sense of belonging when I joined over a year ago, it was like I finally found people that I can be 100% honest about (barring personal details for safety and privacy) my suicidal ideation and also the best form of coping is here, not with the therapists or people IRL. In fact, even talking about death or suicide would only raise suspicions and invite unwanted attention and meddling into my life (making it even more uncomfortable due to lack of agency and privacy).

Furthermore, yes I agree with you that it is wrong and oftenly short sighted that people focus on only on suicide prevention and almost never the causes that push someone to want to consider suicide in the first place. The premise is that they believe that for anyone to consider suicide, regardless of circumstance is always irrational and that irrational people are UNABLE to make decisions for themselves. That's ironic since by that logic, we should excuse ALL criminals who commit crimes because they were irrational and thus can't be accountable, but of course, they don't think that way. Instead they think that if someone commits a crime then they are guilt as sin and should be dealt with accordingly. In fact, we treat suspected criminals a bit better than suicidal people which is even sadder. But those are different topics for other threads so I won't go too far on that tangent.
This is beautiful! Never underestimate Ruffian!!! I live in PA, and I vote in PA!

People need to hear stuff like this. I have an idea for presenting our stories, but I'm in a manic state right now.

I'll be requesting stuff from SS members, but I need to level out before I can organize stuff. PA governer is a huge advocate for Opiod treatment. I know we're a huge step from that, but I have nothing in life to lose right now. I'm definitely a lover, but I think this is a David vs. Goliath situation. And I do love a good fight.
I'm here because I have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome which is the highest ranking pain condition in medical history. I've had it for 14 years. I'm 34. So I got it at 20, and missed out on everything life has to offer. I've never been in love or have known love. The physical pain is just too great that people actually have their limbs amputated to try and help themselves but surgery makes it worse. It's gotten to the point where I have absolutely no quality of life. I'm existing not living. The pain is wicked and brutal. Only someone with crps could understand. I am the only person doctors have seen that have it inside their ears, outside the ear, in the face, neck, head, jaw, and vaginal area. I have no hope for a future.the dcktes made that very clear but I knew that a long time ago.
Thank you. I am so sorry about your pain. i Don't even have the right words, but I wish I did. It seems trivial to say I'll pray for you, but I do have lots of faith in whatever some call God. Not a religious nut, just it's the only thing I have sometimes. Appreciate your sharing!
 
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