AQUA

AQUA

Headstone
Dec 2, 2020
301
I got diagnosed with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) a while ago, since then some of my behaviour/s has been commented on as being "autistic" the psychologist didn't fully explain so...
what does that mean? what does it mean to be autistic?
I've asked people before what that means, but they always respond along the lines with "questioning it is autistic" :notsure:
ps- looking it up hasn't helped.

I know this is super duper offtopic and maybe shouldn't be in the area. so soz in advanced. any response is greatly cherished.:heart:
 
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KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,682
I'm autistic and I've found that asking people questions that seem "obvious" to neurotypical people is seen as odd and autistic to them. When truthfully, we just want answers and there's simply a disjoint in social expectations between their style of communication and ours.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,828
I'm autistic and I've found that asking people questions that seem "obvious" to neurotypical people is seen as odd and autistic to them. When truthfully, we just want answers and there's simply a disjoint in social expectations between their style of communication and ours.
May I ask what kind of questions? I ask "whatcha doing" a lot to understand everything better but I don't think that's what you're talking about. I'm just asking so I can understand others :ahhha:
 
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MrBlue

MrBlue

Arcanist
Jul 1, 2020
416
No clue. I guess the stereotype of someone with ASD is someone reserved, regimented in their behaviours and socially awkward. There's alot of nuances in social interaction that seem to be automatic for most, so any devaince of that can be noticable regardless of their subtlety. You can be 'off' without anyone precisely knowing why.

On the other hand, I've been told I have all those characteristics yet I'm not officially autistic. I think an 'autisitic' behaviour is sometimes whatever the other person considers untypical (or unfortunately, bad). A loud person might think people that are quiet are odd and a quiet person might consider a loud person as not being self aware. Someone might think you're autisitc for not getting their bad joke etc.

Unless you're hurting anyone with your behaviour, I wouldn't worry too much about it on a personal level, but I relate to not wanting to be negatively treated because of a 'problem' you don't know yourself and are actively left in the dark about.
 
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Shero

Shero

Experienced
Dec 19, 2019
274
Sorry, but asking questions is not autistic. What it comes down to, at least in your potential situation, is that they are incompetent to define their statement accurately. It is easy to deliver a diagnosis without providing the information. That your psychologist or others around you would say you are autistic and not even be able to describe what they mean by that is confusing not only to people on the spectrum, but to neurotypicals as well. Whoever told you that asking questions is autistic behavior is untrustworthy and ignorant.

Someone who is autistic is in a spectrum that is so broad and varied that the old definitions like Asperger's or Atypical Autism are now known as ASD. Of course there are certain characteristics that appear very often in many people, but it is often very difficult to identify and not always the case that it ever happens.
It is not how an autistic person acts, but what goes on inside them that defines them as autistic.
To describe it more precisely, every person is different, even autistic people. Autism does not define your personality, your personality is what defines your autism. This is why it is often difficult to diagnose. There are people who are extroverted or introverted, who are impulsive or more on the shy side. Your temperament is pre-determined and your character is constantly changing throughout your life, these two things make up your personality. Your personality then comes into contact with your autism, which has different degrees of severity, which in turn has so many different types of outcomes what other people may see or how it impacts yourself.
This is how my therapist, who works with people who are on the spectrum, told me what it means to be autistic and how difficult it is to pinpoint. Since i did not have the typical "symptoms" that define autistic behaviour.

EDIT: Edited some things since my mind is blurry and i lost the train of thoughts.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,828
Sorry, but asking questions is not autistic. What it comes down to, at least in your potential situation, is that they are incompetent to define their statement accurately. It is easy to deliver a diagnosis without providing the information. That your psychologist or others around you would say you are autistic and not even be able to describe what they mean by that is confusing not only to people on the spectrum, but to neurotypicals as well. Whoever told you that asking questions is autistic behavior is untrustworthy and ignorant.

Someone who is autistic is in a spectrum that is so broad and varied that the old definitions like Asperger's or Atypical Autism are now known as ASD. Of course there are certain characteristics that appear very often in many people, but it is often very difficult to identify and not always the case that it ever happens.
It is not how an autistic person acts, but what goes on inside them that defines them as autistic.
To describe it more precisely, every person is different, even autistic people. Autism does not define your personality, your personality is what defines your autism. This is why it is often difficult to diagnose. There are people who are extroverted or introverted, who are impulsive or more on the shy side. Your temperament is pre-determined and your character is constantly changing throughout your life, these two things make up your personality. Your personality then comes into contact with your autism, which has different degrees of severity, which in turn has so many different types of outcomes what other people may see or how it impacts yourself.
This is how my therapist, who works with people who are on the spectrum, told me what it means to be autistic and how difficult it is to pinpoint. Since i did not have the typical "symptoms" that define autistic behaviour.

EDIT: Edited some things since my mind is blurry and i lost the train of thoughts.
thank you. i love it when people explain things instead of just screaming "thats offensive". if someones being arrogant then ok fine but in my case ill admit im ignorant, everyone is different and i cant be expected to know everything so instead of yelling at me tell me, like you, @Shero, did here. education goes a lot farther then uncivilized screaming. :hug: :heart:
 
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Shero

Shero

Experienced
Dec 19, 2019
274
thank you. i love it when people explain things instead of just screaming "thats offensive". if someones being arrogant then ok fine but in my case ill admit im ignorant, everyone is different and i cant be expected to know everything so instead of yelling at me tell me, like you, @Shero, did here. education goes a lot farther then uncivilized screaming. :hug: :heart:
Hey, to be quite honest I was a bit irritated how the psychologist and the environment dealt with this person. But I channeled my anger and wrote something that helped me when my therapist was the only one who satisfied my thirst for knowledge. It was at least reassuring for me to know what was causing me so much difficulty in life. The therapist gave me a place where I belonged, in a world where I felt that everyone is different. Even if I have not been completely convinced, at least it is a better answer than the topic creator got.

I do not want to say that what I have written corresponds to the fact, it is dangerous half-knowledge, so please consider that.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,828
I do not want to say that what I have written corresponds to the fact, it is dangerous half-knowledge, so please consider that.
maybe not but someones view thats there is better then no view at all or worse someone that thinks they know.
 
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KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,682
May I ask what kind of questions? I ask "whatcha doing" a lot to understand everything better but I don't think that's what you're talking about. I'm just asking so I can understand others :ahhha:
For me I've had difficulty socialising when I ask something that should be obvious. Like, I've asked about grading policies in a class before and my classmates laughed at me.

I've asked people what sort of social behaviors are expected in certain situations, or like why certain things make someone sad, angry, etc. I'm quite clueless about a lot of social things especially body language but people tend to be confused if I ask them about these things.

I think some autistic people struggle with theory of mind, myself included. Can't tell what others are thinking even if it should be apparent sometimes.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,828
For me I've had difficulty socialising when I ask something that should be obvious. Like, I've asked about grading policies in a class before and my classmates laughed at me.

I've asked people what sort of social behaviors are expected in certain situations, or like why certain things make someone sad, angry, etc. I'm quite clueless about a lot of social things especially body language but people tend to be confused if I ask them about these things.

I think some autistic people struggle with theory of mind, myself included. Can't tell what others are thinking even if it should be apparent sometimes.
i think i understand, but i feel like my problem is more of a dissociation thing where im just not connected and therefor dont/cant make connections sometimes. obviously not exactly the same but i think i get a rough idea
 
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L

lugerepair

I don't like life
Oct 15, 2020
165
I got diagnosed with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) a while ago, since then some of my behaviour/s has been commented on as being "autistic" the psychologist didn't fully explain so...
what does that mean? what does it mean to be autistic?
I've asked people before what that means, but they always respond along the lines with "questioning it is autistic" :notsure:
ps- looking it up hasn't helped.

I know this is super duper offtopic and maybe shouldn't be in the area. so soz in advanced. any response is greatly cherished.:heart:
I'm autistic. First of all, "autism" is a very broad term. But generally, the thing autistic people have in common is that they struggle with social interactions, they have intense interests, they have sensory issues (for example being sensitive to sounds, light, etc.), they exhibit repetitive behaviours (such as listening to the same song over and over again, eating the same meals, wearing the same clothes, etc.), and generally like having a routine and are uncomfortable with unpredictability. But there is a lot of variability among autistic people. Not every autistic people will have the same traits. Some autistic people don't mind loud noises at all, for example. Some autistic people are better at social interaction than others. It depends on the person.
 
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AQUA

AQUA

Headstone
Dec 2, 2020
301
I'm autistic and I've found that asking people questions that seem "obvious" to neurotypical people is seen as odd and autistic to them. When truthfully, we just want answers and there's simply a disjoint in social expectations between their style of communication and ours.
This just happened a few days ago. How do you get around the "...asking people questions that seem "obvious" to neurotypical people..."?
In my experience people get super defensive, how do you avoid this?
WOW @KuriGohan&Kamehameha, @Life_and_Death, @MrBlue, @Shero and @lugerepair. I can't thank you all enough, notably @Shero, as I was reading your statement you were answering questions faster than I conceived them lmao.
 
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Shero

Shero

Experienced
Dec 19, 2019
274
This just happened a few days ago. How do you get around the "...asking people questions that seem "obvious" to neurotypical people..."?
In my experience people get super defensive, how do you avoid this?
WOW @KuriGohan&Kamehameha, @Life_and_Death, @MrBlue, @Shero and @lugerepair. I can't thank you all enough, notably @Shero, as I was reading your statement you were answering questions faster than I conceived them lmao.
No problem, I'm glad we could help you.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,828
This just happened a few days ago. How do you get around the "...asking people questions that seem "obvious" to neurotypical people..."?
In my experience people get super defensive, how do you avoid this?
WOW @KuriGohan&Kamehameha, @Life_and_Death, @MrBlue, @Shero and @lugerepair. I can't thank you all enough, notably @Shero, as I was reading your statement you were answering questions faster than I conceived them lmao.
what did i do? i was asking questions too :pfff: :heart:
 
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netrezven

Mage
Dec 13, 2018
515
For me I've had difficulty socialising when I ask something that should be obvious. Like, I've asked about grading policies in a class before and my classmates laughed at me.

I've asked people what sort of social behaviors are expected in certain situations, or like why certain things make someone sad, angry, etc. I'm quite clueless about a lot of social things especially body language but people tend to be confused if I ask them about these things.

I think some autistic people struggle with theory of mind, myself included. Can't tell what others are thinking even if it should be apparent sometimes.
From what i have know till now, most of the time autistic people, can't understand "normal" people's reactions, like body language. So they can't express themselfs naturally with that body language, and they appear as like they don't have emotions, or have too high emotions or episode. I think they do have the same emotions like all other people, but they simply express them in different ways, unknown and strange to "normal" people. And it get more and more complex with social situations with estabilished "normal" rules. What therapy does is to learn authinstic people to speak and read this language, it's hard and takes years. And only if an authistic person wants to learn it. Some are very very smart, and i understand them for not wanting to have anything to do with the "normal" ones.
 
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NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I'm autistic and I've found that asking people questions that seem "obvious" to neurotypical people is seen as odd and autistic to them. When truthfully, we just want answers and there's simply a disjoint in social expectations between their style of communication and ours.
That part. I'm tired of being laughed at because these days, it doesn't feel like people are laughing with me.
(Undiagnosed)
 
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