Venting autism causing a long history of abandonment

[true-ending]

this is mostly a vent, but i'm wondering if its just me who has a genuinely severe problem with keeping anyone around me for more than a year? It feels like at that point they realise I don't have an actual personality and just leave. Just recently, a friend of mine begun treating me quite poorly (constantly nitpicking everything i did to make fun of me and then disappearing for up to/over a week if i stood up for myself, ignoring me if we spoke 1 on 1, etc..) after a year and a half. which confused me a lot, because we were inseperable for the majority of that time. It makes me wonder if it's autism or if i'm just insufferable or something.

In a more venting sense, I really wish he had treated me better. It's been about 3 weeks since he disappeared again (he has a habit) and I have the feeling he's not coming back. For the final two months he was constantly snappish with me, except for when he would send me strangely romantic posts about love and whatnot.. We weren't in a relationship, so it felt like he was just trying to string me along. We used to be 'best friends' and now he's just... gone, and it's very painful. It's like a chunk of my daily life has just been removed, instantly, just like that.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

In a more venting sense, I really wish he had treated me better. It's been about 3 weeks since he disappeared again (he has a habit) and I have the feeling he's not coming back. For the final two months he was constantly snappish with me, except for when he would send me strangely romantic posts about love and whatnot.. We weren't in a relationship, so it felt like he was just trying to string me along. We used to be 'best friends' and now he's just... gone, and it's very painful. It's like a chunk of my daily life has just been removed, instantly, just like that.

This part right here is what I think you should focus on more, because it sounds like the core problem, not you or your autism. He didn't treat you well. That's not on you and from what I can read from this it sounds like he has issues with attachment that he's letting spin out of control. If this is a situation that happens for you a lot, maybe it's worth considering that you may be letting the wrong people in, perhaps it's a pattern you've developed? There's various reasons for why someone might do this, I did it for a long time because I'm empathic and always saw something good in the others, plus I had absolutely zero sense of self-worth so I didn't react to being treated poorly, eventually I ended up being attracted to that dynamic.

With autism, I have read that it seems to be quite common to experience similar difficulties. A lot of people with autism are very kind and have high morals, and don't naturally assume that other people may not be that way. They may also have difficulties with picking up on subtle cues that people may be problematic ("red flags") plus (and this goes for everyone, not just autistic people) when you have very few friends, gaining one is amazing and you want to keep them around, you want to believe they're a good person so you may overlook potential red flags. That's very human.

 

[sadalways]

As someone with autism, that's pretty much the case for me too. I can't really keep people because - this is just what i think of myself but i seem to be boring. And then people leave me either for that or because i'm depressed. Maybe i've just been around the wrong people, i dunno. It makes me sad at times.

As for your situation, if he was snappish with you except for romantic messages, it doesn't seem good... i don't really know how to word this but maybe he had the wrong expectations from you. I'm not saying that it's the case, but i've learned that some people are like that and it's best to not give in to them.