Venting attention

[maidens]

it's not fair that ever since I was a child I've always always always craved attention and yet I've never recieved much

I do everything, and I mean everything I can to become popular and get attention especially online. I tried creating an entire new personality publicly, tried creating a whole new identity on a different account without telling anyone, analyzed the profiles of "big" twitter accounts people like a lot to make one like theirs, paid attention to behavior too to act more like them, nothing. I have ~450 twitter followers and that's not NEARLY enough.

I have tons of friends but none of them give me much attention or affection other than like 3 of them. a lot of my friends, especially one, make it so obvious they couldn't care less about me or how I feel. whenever I ask for praise or attention it's usually crickets and I'm so fucking tired of it I give all my friends so much genuine affection because I love my friends, I'm very grateful for my friends and I mean that! but none of them care for me and I'm so fed up with all of it I don't know what to do anymore I just want attention

 

[Imagined_Euphoria]

Whats the reason you want attention? Genuinely curious. I never felt that way, especially not in social media.

 

[maidens]

Whats the reason you want attention? Genuinely curious. I never felt that way, especially not in social media.

I have covert NPD, but i've also just always craved it since I was little. I think it's also because my parents never gave me much when I was little, I went through a lot of emotional neglect and still am to this day

 

[Sat]

You don't need love from a million people, you need a million love from a person.

I've heard a quote like that somewhere.

 

[Ramsay Fiction]

I crave attention, maybe it stems from none of my basic needs being met growing up and being isolated from other people? I'm not sure. I have a tendency to be a people pleaser so people like me. Like you, I know a lot of people! But they may as well all be NPCs.

All that just to say I don't 100% know your perspective but can definitely sympathize with an appetite for attention that remains unsatiated

 

[Soupster]

This is a mindset I genuinely don't understand. To be clear that does not make it less valid or mean that it is wrong in amy way. Just I personally don't get it. I've always wanted to minimize the amount of attention I receive. I try to be bland, boring, nondescript. I don't want people looking at me, judging me, and definitely not approaching me. It's a pain in the ass that I work in people oriented jobs and have to fake it at work. I just shut that shit down as soon as I get home. I have very little social media, and ertainly no followers.

 

[Ramsay Fiction]

This is a mindset I genuinely don't understand. To be clear that does not make it less valid or mean that it is wrong in amy way. Just I personally don't get it. I've always wanted to minimize the amount of attention I receive. I try to be bland, boring, nondescript. I don't want people looking at me, judging me, and definitely not approaching me. It's a pain in the ass that I work in people oriented jobs and have to fake it at work. I just shut that shit down as soon as I get home. I have very little social media, and ertainly no followers.

Some people are just like that. I understand your pov too. I get nervous when I am the center of attention, it just so happens that I want it anyway despite that. I think most people in a similar boat don't have this weird conflicting desires like I do. Hiding away never to be seen again by another person sometimes seems really appealing lol

 

[Fragile_]

I understand your frustration but honestly satisfying your needs with the amount of twitter followers is hollow. You need few close friends or even just 1 person that cares about you the same way you care about them. But yea.. it's not easy to find that person

 

[Manfrotto99]

Have you been diagnosed with covert npd ? Most people Ive known with covert npd, and I've known a few, would never admit they have any personality disorder let alone npd. They are usually too perfect, in their own minds to think they have a mental disorder. You say you genuinely love and are grateful for your friends, but that dosnt really line up with having npd either. Maybe you have a desperate need to belong which makes sense as you were neglected by your parents, but perhaps people feel you are trying to hard and not being genuine and consistent with what you say and how you come across. Sadly when we're neglecting by our parents we often become lost and try to seek validation elsewhere, but just having one person who we can truly be ourselves is what is most important.

 

[maidens]

Have you been diagnosed with covert npd ? Most people Ive known with covert npd, and I've known a few, would never admit they have any personality disorder let alone npd. They are usually too perfect, in their own minds to think they have a mental disorder. You say you genuinely love and are grateful for your friends, but that dosnt really line up with having npd either. Maybe you have a desperate need to belong which makes sense as you were neglected by your parents, but perhaps people feel you are trying to hard and not being genuine and consistent with what you say and how you come across. Sadly when we're neglecting by our parents we often become lost and try to seek validation elsewhere, but just having one person who we can truly be ourselves is what is most important.

I am working on getting a diagnosis with a professional. I admit I have it becwuse I need labels to understand what the fuck is wrong with me or I'll go insane. and maybe if people know I have a disorder that requires me to get more attention maybe they'll give me it

what do you mean loving and being grateful for your friends doesn't line up with having npd? they are the people who (sometimes) give me attention and are nice to me, and they're fun to hang out with. although I do get upset at them pretty easily (I don't express it) and if I feel that they're getting more love than me or aren't giving me what I'm giving them I get increasingly angry

 

[locked*n*loaded]

You don't need love from a million people, you need a million love from a person.

I like that quote. Yes, enough love from one person to last a lifetime.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Most people Ive known with covert npd, and I've known a few, would never admit they have any personality disorder let alone npd.

Who is to say that even have NDP if they were never diagnosed?

 

[gloomie]

i have bpd and feel a similar way a lot. i think deep down i feel as though maybe if i can get enough attention, validation or affection, i'll somehow be "saved" and finally feel whole. not sure if it's the same for you, but i empathise

 

[pain6batch9]

I'm strange. I don't like attention. I have absolutely no social media presence at all. No friends in real life. I keep to myself, live by myself. Completely the opposite to what you describe.

Why? I don't suffer with anxiety. I'm okay talking to strangers, in front of groups. Doesn't bother me if I get called out to perform in front of others, I dive right in.

So why don't I like attention? The answer is, I prefer my anonymity. I want the shadows, not because I want to feel safer, no. It's because I want to feel unseen. Because here in the darkness I can be what and who I want to be. Fame and attention are anathema to me because as soon as the spotlight is on you, you lose your anonymity. Then, the crowd dictates who you are, with their opinions and comments and their voices. The crowd molds you. It controls you. I'm not scared of the crowd. I just see it for what it is.

I'll take anonymity over attention any day. No Tikkytock. No bloody Xtwits, no Facebollocks. No love Island. No British Talent Hunters. Nope.

I'll be here in the shadows.

 

[Manfrotto99]

Who is to say that even have NDP if they were never diagnosed?

It's just common for people with npd to think they have no problems and they are usually very good at scapegoating and blaming others and putting on a mask that they are one of the least likely to be assessed unless forced into it. My father and sister are both covert npd types but never been diagnosed and would never consider seeing a psychologist.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It's just common for people with npd to think they have no problems and they are usually very good at scapegoating and blaming others and putting on a mask that they are one of the least likely to be assessed unless forced into it. My father and sister are both covert npd types but never been diagnosed and would never consider seeing a psychologist.

Okay, that doesn't mean that they have NDP. Scapegoating and blaming others are behaviours that are common amongst the general population. Stop trying to play psychiatrist. You are in no position to diagnose them with anything.

 

[Manfrotto99]

I am working on getting a diagnosis with a professional. I admit I have it becwuse I need labels to understand what the fuck is wrong with me or I'll go insane. and maybe if people know I have a disorder that requires me to get more attention maybe they'll give me it

what do you mean loving and being grateful for your friends doesn't line up with having npd? they are the people who (sometimes) give me attention and are nice to me, and they're fun to hang out with. although I do get upset at them pretty easily (I don't express it) and if I feel that they're getting more love than me or aren't giving me what I'm giving them I get increasingly angry

I am working on getting a diagnosis with a professional. I admit I have it becwuse I need labels to understand what the fuck is wrong with me or I'll go insane. and maybe if people know I have a disorder that requires me to get more attention maybe they'll give me it

what do you mean loving and being grateful for your friends doesn't line up with having npd? they are the people who (sometimes) give me attention and are nice to me, and they're fun to hang out with. although I do get upset at them pretty easily (I don't express it) and if I feel that they're getting more love than me or aren't giving me what I'm giving them I get increasingly angry

I'm not saying your not loving and grateful for your friends, but with npd

Okay, that doesn't mean that they have NDP. Scapegoating and blaming others are behaviours that are common amongst the general population. Stop trying to play psychiatrist. You are in no position to diagnose them with anything.

Wow sorry, no need to take offence. I never said anyone has NPD because they blame or scapegoat by any means we all do this at times. I'm only saying that scapegoating and blaming are common behavious for npd, so is being highly offensive. Its basic text book stuff, but it's all on a spectrum. The poster was asking for opinions, that's all and I have read a great deal and do have experience with covert NPD as both my father and sister fall into the category, as suggested by my psychologist and other professionals.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Wow sorry, no need to take offence. I never said anyone has NPD because they blame or scapegoat by any means we all do this at times. I'm only saying that scapegoating and blaming are common behavious for npd, so is being highly offensive. Its basic text book stuff, but it's all on a spectrum. The poster was asking for opinions, that's all and I have read a great deal and do have experience with covert NPD as both my father and sister fall into the category, as suggested by my psychologist and other professionals.

You aren't their psychologist. Stop trying to fucking diagnose others. You reading shit online doesn't mean anything. Your psychologist cannot diagnose them with anything since they aren't their patients and are only going off of your own experiences and opinions of them.

 

[Manfrotto99]

I am working on getting a diagnosis with a professional. I admit I have it becwuse I need labels to understand what the fuck is wrong with me or I'll go insane. and maybe if people know I have a disorder that requires me to get more attention maybe they'll give me it

what do you mean loving and being grateful for your friends doesn't line up with having npd? they are the people who (sometimes) give me attention and are nice to me, and they're fun to hang out with. although I do get upset at them pretty easily (I don't express it) and if I feel that they're getting more love than me or aren't giving me what I'm giving them I get increasingly angry

I am working on getting a diagnosis with a professional. I admit I have it becwuse I need labels to understand what the fuck is wrong with me or I'll go insane. and maybe if people know I have a disorder that requires me to get more attention maybe they'll give me it

what do you mean loving and being grateful for your friends doesn't line up with having npd? they are the people who (sometimes) give me attention and are nice to me, and they're fun to hang out with. although I do get upset at them pretty easily (I don't express it) and if I feel that they're getting more love than me or aren't giving me what I'm giving them I get increasingly angry

I'm not saying your not loving and grateful for your friends, but with npd

Okay, that doesn't mean that they have NDP. Scapegoating and blaming others are behaviours that are common amongst the general population. Stop trying to play psychiatrist. You are in no position to diagnose them with anything.

Wow sorry, no need to take offence. I'm only saying that scapegoating and blaming are common be for npd, so is being offensive. It's all on a spectrum.

You aren't their psychologist. Stop trying to fucking diagnose others. You reading shit online doesn't mean anything. Your psychologist cannot diagnose them with anything since they aren't their patients and are only going off of your own experiences and opinions of what is your problem?

You aren't their psychologist. Stop trying to fucking diagnose others. You reading shit online doesn't mean anything. Your psychologist cannot diagnose them with anything since they aren't their patients and are only going off of your own experiences and opin

That's correct im not and never did i say i was anyones psychologist or pretend to be or even suggest the poster had npd. Quite the opposite which is why I asked them if they had been diagnosed with npd given they mentioned it themselves. I offered an opinion to a post based on my own personal experience and that is all. There was no need to be nasty and take offence to it.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm not saying your not loving and grateful for your friends, but with npd

Wow sorry, no need to take offence. I'm only saying that scapegoating and blaming are common be for npd, so is being offensive. It's all on a spectrum.

I feel like you didn't bother reading my post...