I just can't stand anymore... Back in July, I bought everything that I needed to make my SN kit. The antiemetics are easy to buy in my country, we don't need prescriptions to any of them, but as I'm struggling with a nightmare pos-op, I've already taken my domperidona pills on the last weeks. All I need now is to buy more domperi.
I used to be a person, but my dreams we're vanished since the pandemic and the crisis. Now, I can barely speak or walk, not even think, sometimes...
The sickness became part of me! Actually, I'm getting sick ALL the fuckin time since 2021! My marriage is already gone, I can't write my master's thesis or even work properly. The brain fog is killing me!
How can a pilonidal cyst terminate a life? Holy shit, I can't even do my own groceries without crying! The First abcess happened in 2021, but only in 2022 I received the correct diagnosis. I Just hate my nasty body and everything that It made me have to surpass...
The excruciating pain made me a shitty worker, a useless crap. I don't remember the last time I could complete a task on time...
... And now I'm relapsing! At least my eating disorder was under control, but in the last months, while I was rotting on the bed, the fear just overcame everything. Right now, I'm with 103 lbs (168 cm), I know that my body can't have the strenght to close the wounds, and how could It? I'm not even eating...
But, to be honest, I don't care, not anymore...
My last attempt was with CO, but the S.I. kicked in while I was already unconcious!! My bathroom was sealed, I've burned that shitty charchoal in a tin can aaaand... After passed out, I woke up outside the bathroom, because I, somehow, opened the door and crawled to my bedroom...
After that, I bought the SN (99,5%), wrote my CTB notes and stopped any interaction with close friends, who could easily know something weird was happening...
Buuut I'm a shitty coward, and tried the surgery before any action... Ooh boy, If I just knew that the things would grow worst.
I'm tired, I wish I could sleep for a thousand years...
I used to be a person, but my dreams we're vanished since the pandemic and the crisis. Now, I can barely speak or walk, not even think, sometimes...
The sickness became part of me! Actually, I'm getting sick ALL the fuckin time since 2021! My marriage is already gone, I can't write my master's thesis or even work properly. The brain fog is killing me!
How can a pilonidal cyst terminate a life? Holy shit, I can't even do my own groceries without crying! The First abcess happened in 2021, but only in 2022 I received the correct diagnosis. I Just hate my nasty body and everything that It made me have to surpass...
The excruciating pain made me a shitty worker, a useless crap. I don't remember the last time I could complete a task on time...
... And now I'm relapsing! At least my eating disorder was under control, but in the last months, while I was rotting on the bed, the fear just overcame everything. Right now, I'm with 103 lbs (168 cm), I know that my body can't have the strenght to close the wounds, and how could It? I'm not even eating...
But, to be honest, I don't care, not anymore...
My last attempt was with CO, but the S.I. kicked in while I was already unconcious!! My bathroom was sealed, I've burned that shitty charchoal in a tin can aaaand... After passed out, I woke up outside the bathroom, because I, somehow, opened the door and crawled to my bedroom...
After that, I bought the SN (99,5%), wrote my CTB notes and stopped any interaction with close friends, who could easily know something weird was happening...
Buuut I'm a shitty coward, and tried the surgery before any action... Ooh boy, If I just knew that the things would grow worst.
I'm tired, I wish I could sleep for a thousand years...
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