attachment is the root cause of suffering

[Darkover]

attachment is the root cause of suffering, and to understand this we must first understand what attachment really means. when you do something expecting a particular outcome or result that means you are attached to that work because the result of it matters to you. however, the intensity of attachment may vary and accordingly we suffer if the outcome and results are not what we wanted. we are attached to different things to varying degrees. And if more intense is the craving for a certain outcome, more intensely we suffer if we do not achieve it.

It is because you are attached to the idea that you belong in a romantic relationship. You are attached to the idea that, even if you are content, having a partner would elevate your happiness. You are attached to the idea that without a partner your life isn't as good as it can be. Those things might be true sometimes, but not all the time.

expect nothing and you will never be disappointed
It means if you learn not to expect things from others, and just do for yourself then you will not be disappointed when the other person does not follow through

Never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same towards you, because one sided expectations can mentally destroy you

 

[tiredone]

Painfully true.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Wise words indeed.
This may sound really negative, but I believe It's better to be alone in this world and have zero ambition.
But maybe I'm just too far gone to try anymore.

 

[Darkover]

Wise words indeed.
This may sound really negative, but I believe It's better to be alone in this world and have zero ambition.
But maybe I'm just too far gone to try anymore.

well your not wrong i mean death can come for us at any time so what the point in even having ambitions in the first place
i wish i had gf in my life that would always be there for me but that rarely works out that way
you suffer if your alone

 

[STTP]

well your not wrong i mean death can come for us at any time so what the point in even having ambitions in the first place
i wish i had gf in my life that would always be there for me but that rarely works out that way
you suffer if your alone

the point in having ambitions is to have them - there doesn't need to be an endgame, simply doing it is enough (in theory). ensuring you have no regrets and live caught up with everything is all you need to do to be ready for a death at any time, tbh

 

[Darkover]

the point in having ambitions is to have them - there doesn't need to be an endgame, simply doing it is enough (in theory). ensuring you have no regrets and live caught up with everything is all you need to do to be ready for a death at any time, tbh

yeah i'm a programmer and had high ambitions to make indie games into i got a brain injury in 2016 i love to learn maths and have an intellectual challenge and creative things with math

 

[MatthieuFrederickW]

Buddhism teaches it. I wonder if that's why meditation can reduce the suffering from physical or emotional pain? Like those Buddhists who set themselves on fire, how did hey do it? I imagine you'd have to be in a state of mindfulness of some kind throughout all day everyday to be able to reach that state of mind.

 

[Darkover]

I wonder if that's why meditation can reduce the suffering from physical or emotional pain?

The concept of mindfulness involves focusing on your present situation and state of mind. This can mean awareness of your surroundings, emotions and breathing., mindfulness practices have often produced unimpressive results, A 2014 review of 47 meditation trials, collectively including over 3,500 participants, found essentially no evidence for benefits related to enhancing attention, curtailing substance abuse, aiding sleep or controlling weight.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

You always do have a way with words darkover

 

[Darkover]

You always do have a way with words darkover

i wish these were my words i can't write that well , i'm good at selecting words that i find on the internet and putting them together

 

[STTP]

yeah i'm a programmer and had high ambitions to make indie games into i got a brain injury in 2016 i love to learn maths and have an intellectual challenge and creative things with math

math is beautiful, even though i struggle so much with it. have you seen the guy who made the ein stein tile? just a normal guy who loved shapes accidentally falling onto multiple solutions for one of the oldest problems in geometry. he didn't ever have that goal; he just liked shapes. he did what he liked and got an accidental outcome - if he died before that i doubt he would've regretted it.

The concept of mindfulness involves focusing on your present situation and state of mind. This can mean awareness of your surroundings, emotions and breathing., mindfulness practices have often produced unimpressive results, A 2014 review of 47 meditation trials, collectively including over 3,500 participants, found essentially no evidence for benefits related to enhancing attention, curtailing substance abuse, aiding sleep or controlling weight.

i wonder how often people who practice mediation are onto the new-wave folk buddhist stuff instead of actually being about it, haha. interesting!

 

[R_N]

Yeah and everyone is going to experience things they don't want regardless how strong their drive is.

I know I am a broken record but if it weren't for people reproducing we wouldn't be here today. Nature and human needs suck, they just keep us in this hellhole forever.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

well your not wrong i mean death can come for us at any time so what the point in even having ambitions in the first place
i wish i had gf in my life that would always be there for me but that rarely works out that way
you suffer if your alone

Yeah, so true.
Life is extremely fragile.
I once knew a guy who worked his arse off for 20 years just so He could buy a yacht and sail round the world.
He eventually bought a yacht and died in a car crash on his way to the marina to begin his round the world trip.
Not having a gf is the only thing I truly miss. Yet my sex-drive is completely non-existent, and has been for a long time now.
Just having someone who really cares would mean so much, yet like you say: life rarely works out for some of us.

 

[wait.what]

I loathe "mindfulness" to an extent that I must confess is rather unfair … it's not Marsha Linehan's fault that a highly bastardized form of of this DBT skill has become the flavor of the month in the sort of treatment program where you stay less than a week and go home with a psyche resident's appointment card and a prescription for trazodone. It certainly isn't the fault of actual Buddhist meditation masters.

I suppose it's the fault of U.S. insurance companies and their decades-long race to the bottom, aided by lobbyists and vest-pocket legislators. I think the whole lot of them ought to be forced to spend 45 minutes a day staring at a blurry photocopy of the "mindfulness" page from Linehan's book, while a chipper young lady in scrubs reads the text aloud to them, stopping to laboriously explain every. Single. Line. All of their complaints ought to be met with the insistence that this "treatment" is not designed to drive them mad, but to make them sane. (Lol, j/k, it's to drive them mad.)

 

[Forever Sleep]

So true but so difficult to master. I guess because when things actually (rarely) work out in life- when we get to achieve and keep for some time the things we most desire, it can make us so happy. It's so hard to then let them go.

I guess I wonder just how happy you could be without forming attachments though. That rules out friends, family, career, hobbies, interests really. I guess you could still enjoy the odd rainbow and sunset here and there. Maybe even casual sex. Lol.

I don't know- it sounds similar to being on antidepressants- feeling neither highs or lows. Wandering through life as a zombie. Doesn't sound all that appealing to me. I think the ideal would be a state of acceptance. So- you are still able to form attachments but you completely accept that they probably won't last forever. You just enjoy them for however long they last and a part of them stays with you. I can't say I regret having the most wonderful childhood memories with some of my family members who are now deceased. I think I'd prefer to have had them than not- even though it's painful to lose them.

 

[FuneralCry]

This is certainly a reason as to why only non-existence is perfection, as after all those who don't exist cannot suffer in any way and they have no need for anything. Only non-existence is the absence of all suffering and all that feels rational to me is being free from the ultimate source of all harms in the first place.

 

[STTP]

This is certainly a reason as to why only non-existence is perfection, as after all those who don't exist cannot suffer in any way and they have no need for anything. Only non-existence is the absence of all suffering and all that feels rational to me is being free from the ultimate source of all harms in the first place.

I guess this is the way of Buddhism - living non-existence, no desire. Has nobody told them about suicide?

 

[Iamtired]

attachment is the root cause of suffering, and to understand this we must first understand what attachment really means. when you do something expecting a particular outcome or result that means you are attached to that work because the result of it matters to you. however, the intensity of attachment may vary and accordingly we suffer if the outcome and results are not what we wanted. we are attached to different things to varying degrees. And if more intense is the craving for a certain outcome, more intensely we suffer if we do not achieve it.

It is because you are attached to the idea that you belong in a romantic relationship. You are attached to the idea that, even if you are content, having a partner would elevate your happiness. You are attached to the idea that without a partner your life isn't as good as it can be. Those things might be true sometimes, but not all the time.

expect nothing and you will never be disappointed
It means if you learn not to expect things from others, and just do for yourself then you will not be disappointed when the other person does not follow through

Never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same towards you, because one sided expectations can mentally destroy you

Unfortunately a little too late for me. Damage is done. My body won't ever be what it was. My mind won't either.

I loathe "mindfulness" to an extent that I must confess is rather unfair … it's not Marsha Linehan's fault that a highly bastardized form of of this DBT skill has become the flavor of the month in the sort of treatment program where you stay less than a week and go home with a psyche resident's appointment card and a prescription for trazodone. It certainly isn't the fault of actual Buddhist meditation masters.

I suppose it's the fault of U.S. insurance companies and their decades-long race to the bottom, aided by lobbyists and vest-pocket legislators. I think the whole lot of them ought to be forced to spend 45 minutes a day staring at a blurry photocopy of the "mindfulness" page from Linehan's book, while a chipper young lady in scrubs reads the text aloud to them, stopping to laboriously explain every. Single. Line. All of their complaints ought to be met with the insistence that this "treatment" is not designed to drive them mad, but to make them sane. (Lol, j/k, it's to drive them mad.)

Brilliant.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

I disagree. Birth is the cause of all suffering and death.

 

[sserafim]

I disagree. Birth is the cause of all suffering and death.

I agree with both you and @Darkover. In my opinion, both birth and attachments are the cause of suffering. If you were never born, you would never have any attachments in the first place, and you would never experience any suffering because you wouldn't be alive. I think that the policy of non-attachment is the best.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

attachment is the root cause of suffering, and to understand this we must first understand what attachment really means. when you do something expecting a particular outcome or result that means you are attached to that work because the result of it matters to you. however, the intensity of attachment may vary and accordingly we suffer if the outcome and results are not what we wanted. we are attached to different things to varying degrees. And if more intense is the craving for a certain outcome, more intensely we suffer if we do not achieve it.

It is because you are attached to the idea that you belong in a romantic relationship. You are attached to the idea that, even if you are content, having a partner would elevate your happiness. You are attached to the idea that without a partner your life isn't as good as it can be. Those things might be true sometimes, but not all the time.

expect nothing and you will never be disappointed
It means if you learn not to expect things from others, and just do for yourself then you will not be disappointed when the other person does not follow through

Never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same towards you, because one sided expectations can mentally destroy you

I am mentally destroyed because of this. I've studied Buddhism and non attachment. Easier said than done. Logically it makes complete sense. Psychologically it has been impossible to achieve for me.

Yeah, so true.
Life is extremely fragile.
I once knew a guy who worked his arse off for 20 years just so He could buy a yacht and sail round the world.
He eventually bought a yacht and died in a car crash on his way to the marina to begin his round the world trip.
Not having a gf is the only thing I truly miss. Yet my sex-drive is completely non-existent, and has been for a long time now.
Just having someone who really cares would mean so much, yet like you say: life rarely works out for some of us.

Be careful what you wish for. I thought I had a girlfriend for life (13 years together and two kids). One day she just says "I don't love you anymore." That is why I am going to kill myself.

Yeah, so true.
Life is extremely fragile.
I once knew a guy who worked his arse off for 20 years just so He could buy a yacht and sail round the world.
He eventually bought a yacht and died in a car crash on his way to the marina to begin his round the world trip.
Not having a gf is the only thing I truly miss. Yet my sex-drive is completely non-existent, and has been for a long time now.
Just having someone who really cares would mean so much, yet like you say: life rarely works out for some of us.

Be careful what you wish for. I thought I had a girlfriend for life (13 years together and two kids). One day she just says "I don't love you anymore." That is why I am going to kill myself.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

It's kind of like a cruel joke, because humans are wired for attachment. We have a "need" for other people, which is why isolation is so painful and harmful for our mental health. But at the same time attachment leads to suffering. It's a no-win situation

 

[Cloud Busting]

Sylvia Plath spoke of not being disappointed with zero expectations in The Bell Jar.

I'm working on killing desire.

The concept of mindfulness involves focusing on your present situation and state of mind. This can mean awareness of your surroundings, emotions and breathing., mindfulness practices have often produced unimpressive results, A 2014 review of 47 meditation trials, collectively including over 3,500 participants, found essentially no evidence for benefits related to enhancing attention, curtailing substance abuse, aiding sleep or controlling weight.

Don't kill my hope as well

I'm practicing meditation and hope to study Buddhism as a way to manage stress and mental health.

I truly believe that humans are bond by collective suffering, which means we should extend our compassion rather than reserve it. We live in a meaningless world full of pain, so we should remember we're in this shit together.

I'm trying to revolt against suffering rather than be defeated by it. As Albert Camus once said, suicide is confessing that life is too much for you, and I no longer want to send that message.

Being attuned to the present and to your inner bodily states and mindsets makes sense to me. I'm always living in the past or a tainted, twisted future. I'm always asking, "why?" It seems less stressful to simply be.

The idea of non-attachment makes sense to me. Life is constantly changing, and things never go to plan. Just seizing the moment and savoring each experience as it happens seems like the key to living fully.

Exercise helps me because it attunes me to my body and clears my mind. Am I being naive in wishing for similar results with meditation?

Just accepting my emotional states as they happen rather than judging myself for them or over-thinking them has helped me so much. Am I doomed?

 

[tiger b]

Yes.

We all are. Inevitably.

But whatever you make of that fact is up to you.

How you pass the time - and how you define it - until that point is entirely up to you.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Sylvia Plath spoke of not being disappointed with zero expectations in The Bell Jar.

I'm working on killing desire.



Don't kill my hope as well

I'm practicing meditation and hope to study Buddhism as a way to manage stress and mental health.

I truly believe that humans are bond by collective suffering, which means we should extend our compassion rather than reserve it. We live in a meaningless world full of pain, so we should remember we're in this shit together.

I'm trying to revolt against suffering rather than be defeated by it. As Albert Camus once said, suicide is confessing that life is too much for you, and I no longer want to send that message.

Being attuned to the present and to your inner bodily states and mindsets makes sense to me. I'm always living in the past or a tainted, twisted future. I'm always asking, "why?" It seems less stressful to simply be.

The idea of non-attachment makes sense to me. Life is constantly changing, and things never go to plan. Just seizing the moment and savoring each experience as it happens seems like the key to living fully.

Exercise helps me because it attunes me to my body and clears my mind. Am I being naive in wishing for similar results with meditation?

Just accepting my emotional states as they happen rather than judging myself for them or over-thinking them has helped me so much. Am I doomed?

Like I said earlier, non attachment is an amazing concept. I just have not figured out how to apply it. I understand that there is nothing to apply, it is just about letting go. Letting go of psychological attachments seems to be just as difficult as letting go of the railing that I plan on jumping from. The ego and SI seem to be partners in crime. If you figure it out please let me know! I am very interested in non attachment. Good luck.

 

[tiger b]

The ego is a pernicious wee bastard that will do anything to keep us believing the myth that it actually exists.

 

[Cloud Busting]

So true but so difficult to master. I guess because when things actually (rarely) work out in life- when we get to achieve and keep for some time the things we most desire, it can make us so happy. It's so hard to then let them go.

I guess I wonder just how happy you could be without forming attachments though. That rules out friends, family, career, hobbies, interests really. I guess you could still enjoy the odd rainbow and sunset here and there. Maybe even casual sex. Lol.

I don't know- it sounds similar to being on antidepressants- feeling neither highs or lows. Wandering through life as a zombie. Doesn't sound all that appealing to me. I think the ideal would be a state of acceptance. So- you are still able to form attachments but you completely accept that they probably won't last forever. You just enjoy them for however long they last and a part of them stays with you. I can't say I regret having the most wonderful childhood memories with some of my family members who are now deceased. I think I'd prefer to have had them than not- even though it's painful to lose them.

I don't see how the idea of non-attachment is antithetical to forming hobbies, careers, or friendships. I am a total novice and have so much to learn, but from my rudimentary understanding, impermanence is a core concept of Buddhism. It's the idea that nothing lasts forever, and things are forever-changing. Everything is a constant.

Acceptance- as you explain it- would align with the concept of impermanence. Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy what you have now, and know new opportunities will arise. Losing something isn't the end. I personally find this concept helpful in terms of emotions. I feel like shit? I wanna die? I'm craving drugs? Or calling up an ex? I'm trying to be kind with myself, and sit with these feelings, as they won't last forever. Keep calm, carry on, and breathe.

I think the idea of non-attachment would help one learn to let go, but I have yet to practice it. If your career ends, it's not the end of the world. You can translate your skills into something else, and your career wasn't for nothing, as you have a lasting impression formed from those experiences ^^

@Lookoutbelow

I am just dipping my toes in. I haven't yet but I'm hoping to set time aside to study a free course on Buddhism I've found. I'm also attending a meditation group tonight. Feel free to pm me. I'm hoping this new journey will be healing, but I'm worried I'm being naive or will go about it in a superficial or pop psychology sorta way. Lol

 

[venin.n]

attachment is the root cause of suffering, and to understand this we must first understand what attachment really means. when you do something expecting a particular outcome or result that means you are attached to that work because the result of it matters to you. however, the intensity of attachment may vary and accordingly we suffer if the outcome and results are not what we wanted. we are attached to different things to varying degrees. And if more intense is the craving for a certain outcome, more intensely we suffer if we do not achieve it.

It is because you are attached to the idea that you belong in a romantic relationship. You are attached to the idea that, even if you are content, having a partner would elevate your happiness. You are attached to the idea that without a partner your life isn't as good as it can be. Those things might be true sometimes, but not all the time.

expect nothing and you will never be disappointed
It means if you learn not to expect things from others, and just do for yourself then you will not be disappointed when the other person does not follow through

Never get too attached to anyone unless they also feel the same towards you, because one sided expectations can mentally destroy you

Buddishm

Life is the source of all suffering.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

But that's just part of the issue isn't it? How can you experience joy and a sense of contentment if you're attached to nothing at all? We're all attached to something in some sort of way; I think it's just an inevitability of life.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Sylvia Plath spoke of not being disappointed with zero expectations in The Bell Jar.

I'm working on killing desire.



Don't kill my hope as well

I'm practicing meditation and hope to study Buddhism as a way to manage stress and mental health.

I truly believe that humans are bond by collective suffering, which means we should extend our compassion rather than reserve it. We live in a meaningless world full of pain, so we should remember we're in this shit together.

I'm trying to revolt against suffering rather than be defeated by it. As Albert Camus once said, suicide is confessing that life is too much for you, and I no longer want to send that message.

Being attuned to the present and to your inner bodily states and mindsets makes sense to me. I'm always living in the past or a tainted, twisted future. I'm always asking, "why?" It seems less stressful to simply be.

The idea of non-attachment makes sense to me. Life is constantly changing, and things never go to plan. Just seizing the moment and savoring each experience as it happens seems like the key to living fully.

Exercise helps me because it attunes me to my body and clears my mind. Am I being naive in wishing for similar results with meditation?

Just accepting my emotional states as they happen rather than judging myself for them or over-thinking them has helped me so much. Am I doomed?

Here's one of the best ever books on meditation. I used it to eventually reach jhana a few years ago.