Venting asking for method

[defecivi]

hello, this is my second post i here, i genuinely have no idea on how to do this, i really wanna do it somewhere in the future, i have no clue on any method i could use, i have no money to buy stuff that could do it, and i can't go anywhere to do it, i have a big family, they're literally everywhere inside my house, i want to do it alone, so they dont have to see it, the only way i could attempt is by throwing myself off the motorcycle of my dad when leaving school, as we go to a mildly fast speed sometimes, but that doesn't grantees anything, and as i said, i wanna do it alone, also he is the only one that was actually done something for me, he's paying for my therapist that i asked, as i told my mother i was feeling like shit and that i wanted to see a therapist to which she refused, saying that i should go to church with her, also, he told me that if something happens to me (referring to CTB) he would also do it, but anyways, i just can't do this shit, im so stupid that i can't even think of a method that's at least kinda viable, please...

EDIT:

As i mentioned, my family is literally everywhere in my house, i can't do anything to be alone.
A few minutes after posting this, my mom got into the room, waking up my sister to clean the wound our dog has, is 3AM right now, they're cleaning it as I'm writing this, i have no idea on how to have at least a tiny bit of privacy in this place, i just want this shit to stop.

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide sounds like it would be pretty much impossible in a situation like that sadly, suicide is already difficult and complicated enough without never having any time alone. It's so horrible how we exist in a world where people are denied the option to just peacefully pass away in a guaranteed and straightforward way but sadly it's just the reality. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I know I don't have a vote in what you do with your life, or death for that matter, nor should I, but, personally, I don't think you should throw yourself off of your dad's motorcycle for CTB. It will probably traumatize him, and even if it didn't, it's no guarantee and probably won't work anyway. You'll probably just end up very hurt and be in the same predicament you are now, maybe even worse, since you'll have injuries you'll have to deal with, maybe even some permanent ones. I hope you can find your peace somehow, though. Everyone deserves that.

 

[defecivi]

I know I don't have a vote in what you do with your life, or death for that matter, nor should I, but, personally, I don't think you should throw yourself off of your dad's motorcycle for CTB. It will probably traumatize him, and even if it didn't, it's no guarantee and probably won't work anyway. You'll probably just end up very hurt and be in the same predicament you are now, maybe even worse, since you'll have injuries you'll have to deal with, maybe even some permanent ones. I hope you can find your peace somehow, though. Everyone deserves that.

thank you, that it pretty much what I don't wanna do...