Venting As if life itself weren't bad enough, being stuck with a terribly empty one just makes it all that much worse.

[Imaginos]

And I wish more than anything else that I never had to live it. I'm a miserable loser on all counts, and now I'm too mind fucked and dead inside to do anything about it. I'd never want to be born, regardless of whatever else my quality of life could've been under different circumstances, but god dammit having to exist like this is agony. An entire lifetime of excruciating stagnancy and a level of isolation that's otherwise treated as a form of capital punishment. I've existed for at least 15 years like this, which would itself break most anyone else's minds were they somehow forced to endure the same. The level of juxtaposition to this planet is absolutely staggering. Someone like me might as well be roasting in hell, while others get to enjoy, while perhaps not heaven, some semblance of consistent satisfaction to their lives, that in comparison to my own predicament might as well seem like a form of paradise, simply because their lives aren't steaming piles of shit, nor are they saddled with numerous life crippling mental illnesses that pretty much guarantee a lifetime of emotional/mental agony.

 

[FuneralCry]

Being alive can be very painful. It is awful when everything is hopeless. It is perfectly understandable wanting to exit when life is just constant suffering. No one should have to exist like that. One of the most horrible things about this life, is that there is no limit as to how bad things can get, things can always get much worse. I see death as being freedom from it all. I hope you find peace.