Art!!! CW: sa + sh

[sancsuinet]

I am working on a project currently to process some pent up emotions! I thought it might resonate with people here even if its only in sketch stages right now!
its called yonic misery and i am probably going to be working in sculpture as my medium (but undecided, ive got a little aluminium cast to do tomorrow so we'll see). I will keep this thread updated on progress (mainly just so i personally have a place with all my thoughts about it cronologically)!
Im working with the idea that wounds are a yonic symbol. one representing the unappealing, unpleasant side to what yoni represents. generally it represents the concepts of purity, new life and fertility but these ideas are visually shown and talked about with very beautiful, dainty, white and clean concepts, but i think this is false. fertility in afab people is represented through a period, the sheading of skin, blood and membrane. its messy, mean and painful. New life is most commonly associated with birth, which is also an incredibly impure action. it is the result of sex (the very thing that makes women 'impure' and 'used'), and the process of birth is long, arduous and again painful. its not pretty or fun. I want to explore what yoni means to me. How it is powerful, dynamic and painful.

The other concept working alongside my exploration of yonic symbols is more personal but has a big influense on the direction i am taking this so i feel its worth mentioning. this whole project stemmed from the idea that my response to sexual abuse was to 'ruin' the desirable parts of my body with scars, but these scars themselves became yonic symbols, resembling the opposing side of yoni to me. the wounds and scars i inflict on myself are the by product of sa from a man, but they only increased my connection to yonic symbols even when i couldnt have felt further from the actual idea of yoni. i regained that power over myself through yonic symbols, which are both the parts of me he wanted and the parts of me that disgusted him. i dont want to glorify sh or to paint the idea of yoni as always a miserable one, but i am talking about an area i havent quite figured out my thoughts on yet since i havent made the works (which is how i process things). so bare with me!

Anyway! thats my little ramble about my project im excited for :) i love art!!!

 

[Valky]

I am sorry but I don't quite get the 'but these scars themselves became yonic symbols' what do you mean exactly?

Also I am really sorry that something so traumatic has happened to you but I am really happy that you found a way to portray and process this through art :)

 

[OceanBlue]

Never knew "yonic" was the term for that..

but these ideas are visually shown and talked about with very beautiful, dainty, white and clean concepts, but i think this is false. fertility in afab people is represented through a period, the sheading of skin, blood and membrane. its messy, mean and painful. New life is most commonly associated with birth, which is also an incredibly impure action. it is the result of sex (the very thing that makes women 'impure' and 'used'), and the process of birth is long, arduous and again painful. its not pretty or fun

This is definitely true.. from ads to feminist theory - female reproductive system is romanticized and linked to flowers, pastel colors, stereotypical 'femininity'. When in reality everything connected to the womb is gruesome and painful, it's also part of the process that directly produces life&death.

Good luck with your project.

 

[sancsuinet]

update! the casting turned out really good :) its attatched to a torso because its a part of my group project in sculpture where were making exquisite corpse inspired sculptures. I was told that this is the first vagina to be made in the history of this project (theyve been doing it for years) and normally people make penis', which is ironic and really confirms my theory of yonic symbols being widely overlooked and underappreciated.

I am sorry but I don't quite get the 'but these scars themselves became yonic symbols' what do you mean exactly?

Also I am really sorry that something so traumatic has happened to you but I am really happy that you found a way to portray and process this through art :)

this is kinda a hard one to explain, so dont be sorry! im not very good with wording. but the idea that i was trying to portray with my sketches is an image that walks the line between a vulva and a wound. They are similar in shape and colour and in my personal experience i find them to be very linked. when drawing one often it gets confused for the other and vise versa. they are openings for blood and trauma, but they are opportunities for power and reclamation. its a working idea. im looking at yonic symbols as a whole and then the scars and wounds are a side quest im working on to process my own shit.

Never knew "yonic" was the term for that..



This is definitely true.. from ads to feminist theory - female reproductive system is romanticized and linked to flowers, pastel colors, stereotypical 'femininity'. When in reality everything connected to the womb is gruesome and painful, it's also part of the process that directly produces life&death.

Good luck with your project.

yeah! id never heard of yonic until i started researching! its really telling to see how little information there is about yonic symbols and yonic as a word in general.

I really dont connect with the romantisised version of the vulva, or the feminine experience in general. I feel its a complex thing and most people have a love hard relationship with their body. Most of the afab people around me have endo, or vaginusmus, or sexual trauma, or diverse gender expression, everyone has something that makes it hard for them to connect with their body in a truely appeciative way always. I know most of us have hated our body, hated its function, hated the attention it attracts and the lack of respect and belief it means people have in you. Im sure everybody wants to love every part of themselves, but theres so many things that complicate that!

 

[Ultracheese]

I really admire how detailed your work is as well as the symbolism behind it. You're a very talented artist and I really appreciate how you use your art to reflect upon your trauma and experiences as well as the complicated feelings a lot of AFAB people feel toward their bodies.

 

[Valky]

this is kinda a hard one to explain, so dont be sorry! im not very good with wording. but the idea that i was trying to portray with my sketches is an image that walks the line between a vulva and a wound. They are similar in shape and colour and in my personal experience i find them to be very linked. when drawing one often it gets confused for the other and vise versa. they are openings for blood and trauma, but they are opportunities for power and reclamation. its a working idea. im looking at yonic symbols as a whole and then the scars and wounds are a side quest im working on to process my own shit.

I don't really think that open wounds are an opportunity for power and reclamation…more the opposite

 

[sancsuinet]

I don't really think that open wounds are an opportunity for power and reclamation…more the opposite

Yeah! i really dont want to glorify sh, thats not my thoughts on it at all. I think the wound is more of a representation of my actions to try and take back my body. for me this was the first step to leaving that coersive relationship and becoming more accepting of my body. they were something i did against what he wanted, and to me that is powerful. now the scars from that time represent how i got myself back. I have a complex relationship with my wounds and scars in a similar way i have a complex relationship with my vulva. I hate them and i hate hwat they represent, and i hate how it was used and how it shapes my life, but i respect that i did what i had to, and i respect that this is a part of me that is uniquely mine.
again, this is a half baked idea and im still currently struggling with sh so this does shape how i talk about it, but as i make things it should develop more and ill be able to explain my perspective better.

I really admire how detailed your work is as well as the symbolism behind it. You're a very talented artist and I really appreciate how you use your art to reflect upon your trauma and experiences as well as the complicated feelings a lot of AFAB people feel toward their bodies.

thank you! my parents are artists so i was always (subconciously) taught to process my emotions through art, i always come back to it. thank you so much for saying im talented!

 

[Valky]

Thank you for the explanation!! I understand it a lot better now :) it's a beautiful idea

 

[rationaltake]

Amazing artwork and concepts. I like the master pulling the strings idea. Thank you.