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pariah80
Member
- Aug 12, 2024
- 28
If so, how are you feeling right now? I feel calm, but sad. There's a part of me that wants to live. However, that part of me even rationalizes my decision to move forward. I sometimes sit and think about what decisions I could've made differently. If I had done this or if I had done that. Yet, one of the reasons I'm going through with it is because, no matter what I would've personally done, the world around me would still be crumbling. I could've been a successful artist, but COVID would've still happened. People would've still been fighting over toilet paper. The economy would still be going to crap. The world would still be on the brink of war. Humans would still be destroying their biosphere. I'd just have a more comfortable position within a dying world. So, for all my fantasizing about actually achieving the life I've always wanted, those fantasies crumble in the face of the reality of life.
I guess the human race couldn't have gone any other direction. No matter how much potential they have, in the end, this would still be happening. I'm weird, I guess. I just don't want to live in a dying world. Even if things "work out" for me. I don't like to see people suffer. And I don't want to see how it all turns out. Honestly, I don't care. I say all this to emphasize my calmness yet sadness. It's a double-edged sword really. I'm sad about the way the world is going, but then... I don't care either. I'll be gone. And humans have made this bed, so they can lie in it.
Anyway, if you're really going through with it, how do you feel right now? When do you plan to attempt (ballpark or actual date)? Are you sad? Are you afraid? I'm a little scared. I mean, I don't know what's on the other side of this. I'm not scared of a heaven/hell type of situation. I guess just fear of the unknown.
If you're going to do it, how are you feeling?
I guess the human race couldn't have gone any other direction. No matter how much potential they have, in the end, this would still be happening. I'm weird, I guess. I just don't want to live in a dying world. Even if things "work out" for me. I don't like to see people suffer. And I don't want to see how it all turns out. Honestly, I don't care. I say all this to emphasize my calmness yet sadness. It's a double-edged sword really. I'm sad about the way the world is going, but then... I don't care either. I'll be gone. And humans have made this bed, so they can lie in it.
Anyway, if you're really going through with it, how do you feel right now? When do you plan to attempt (ballpark or actual date)? Are you sad? Are you afraid? I'm a little scared. I mean, I don't know what's on the other side of this. I'm not scared of a heaven/hell type of situation. I guess just fear of the unknown.
If you're going to do it, how are you feeling?