I read a lot of poeple saying they seem normal but deep inside they are suffering but are hiding it to blend in.
I try to fit in and seem like a cheerful, confident and sociable person because that's what people like to see and that is valued the most in society.
People don't like negativity, silence and I know that.
But as much as I try to do so, I fail and appear as insecure, depressed, anxious, akward, uncomfortable and all of the other negative adjectives you can think of.
(I've been told this)
In reality, well, as you may guess it from my presence on this website, I'm not the happiest lad. I'd qualify myself as realistic.
I'm certain that no one is 100% perfect and happy. I don't think it is a bad thing, it just is.
However, I am much more bubbly and confident outside of the daily grind. I feel like such a different person in public and within the overcrowded city which I hate...
It's a shame people think I'm an unpleasant and uninteresting person.
Society emptied me from my soul and my true personality. I only act now.
Overall I don't care what people think of me, I've been okay with the fact that I'm seen as a bit of a weirdo.
The only thing that actually affects me is knowing that it might ruin my chances of having a job in the future.
Even more so with my autistic label I'm afraid...
All that matters is that I know who I am. Only I can know that.
What I portray, no matter negative or positive, differs from one person to another and is out of my control.
Some might seem very likable and attractive but if all they care about is the way they are being perceived, then they will never really be okay with who they are.