Painless_end

Painless_end

Life is too difficult for me
Oct 11, 2019
794
Is there atleast one single activity which works very well for you either as a hobby giving you happiness and / or peace, or as a profession earning you sufficient money to keep growing ?
 
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SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

That's the hell I live with
Apr 19, 2018
658
I'm quite functional. I have a job, and I walk my dog quite a lot.
I don't brush my teeth, and only tend to have a shower or do my washing when my Mum reminds me.
I am deteriorating quite fast though. My fault, I'm not taking any of my meds for encouragement to CTB.
Music always helps though.
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
I work, but I am hardly giving my best at work.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
High-functioning at work, low-functioning outside work.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,734
I have two part time jobs that I put very minimal effort in. Same for my classes.

Ironically, I haven't been able to build up the motivation to go back to logging into all my mobile games on a daily basis for the past week.
 
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sinbound haibane

sinbound haibane

Member
Oct 1, 2020
16
I have a couple jobs which allow me to pay rent etc., but the way they work, the ground is constantly shifting under me. So far so good, but I never know if I'll have what I need in a few months time. They're both work from home, so I don't shower that often or wash my clothes. I try to rotate certain items so I don't get fungal infections but mostly wear the same clothes every day. I do brush my teeth every day. I eat the bare minimum to keep from getting a headache, and I don't cook. I don't clean much either. I try to keep things from getting too messy but everything gets disgusting anyway because my roommate makes a mess and doesn't clean up after themself.

So... I don't know. I guess I'm pretty functional in the sense of "I'm keeping myself alive."
 
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W

Worthless_nobody

Enlightened
Feb 14, 2019
1,384
I am quite Non functional. I had a decent full time job few years back but couldn't handle adult responsibility and I have been unemployed for years. I can't even go into a fucking grocery store, restaurant or drive without severe crippling anxiety. No hobbies, talents anything. Between my mental and physical issues I lead no life other than existing ..I'm literally as worthless as my ex said I am.
 
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ThrownAwayTom

ThrownAwayTom

Experienced
Oct 3, 2020
276
Functional at work in a sort of fake-it to make-it way that makes them think I'm normal lol. Outside of work I think im slipping a lot, not paying much attention to hygiene or eating 1/4 as much. Can't walk past people or go in a shop without getting tight chested and very panicky. Could be worse.
 
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S

Sk1n1M1n

Experienced
Jan 29, 2020
282
I am functional with university but in terms of social life I have none and it doesn't bother me. I have just accepted it the way life is. There are no suitable places in my area to meet people apart from the boring mental health group or art cafe but that's full of ex service users of mine and tbh watching paint dry is more interesting.
 
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T

Trayus

Member
Oct 3, 2020
73
Except for my dating experience i consider myself very functional. I have a nice apartment, a job, a car - nobody of my colleagues and family noticed my unhappiness. I wouldnt even have minded becoming more active in live, more involved with stuff... like volunteering for animals, going to the gym more, maybe accepting more promotions and responsibility.

But doing everything only for myself was never worth it in the end, i needed someone to share it. Or maybe thats just my excuse for my inaction
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,828
Limitly functional. I do a little bit but I find myself mostly handing it off to my husband which I hate myself for, he does so much for me already.
 
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Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Sep 23, 2020
1,308
Was for a while. Deteriorating fast now...
 
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Lupgevif

Lupgevif

.
Jul 23, 2020
928
No, I am not functional anymore. The most I do is walk... around my house, so I don't even do anything outside. I used to study a lot, 5 years ago, that is. Videogames are ruined for me. Music, movies, shows are boring. All my hobbies make me hate myself because I feel I never improved despite years of training. All I do now is the minimal to take care of my hygiene and eat in unbalanced manners (sometimes I eat too little, other times I overeat).
 
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Klee

Klee

Never play cards with a magician.
Apr 19, 2020
136
No, I am not functional anymore. The most I do is walk... around my house, so I don't even do anything outside. I used to study a lot, 5 years ago, that is. Videogames are ruined for me. Music, movies, shows are boring. All my hobbies make me hate myself because I feel I never improved despite years of training. All I do now is the minimal to take care of my hygiene and eat in unbalanced manners (sometimes I eat too little, other times I overeat).
I find everything said here very relatable. I too eat this way, and have stopped trying anything old or new due to failure.
 
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K

KiraLittleOwl

Lost in transition
Jan 25, 2019
1,083
No(
I always was useless
 
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M

MariV

Arcanist
Sep 13, 2020
487
I'm quite functional. I have a job, and I walk my dog quite a lot.
I don't brush my teeth, and only tend to have a shower or do my washing when my Mum reminds me.
I am deteriorating quite fast though. My fault, I'm not taking any of my meds for encouragement to CTB.
Music always helps though.
i thought i was the only one not brushing their teeth. the moment i stopped doing it my mouth problems improved!
may i ask what does ctb have to do w meds?
 
degeneratewaste

degeneratewaste

dressed for the grave.
Aug 24, 2020
264
I have a façade of being functional. I work part time and am studying a degree in biochemistry, so people think that I'm normal.

However... I have panic attacks at my job almost every shift, it takes me hours just to motivate myself to get out of bed in the morning, and I can't even complete half my classes, especially since everything is online now and I have to essentially teach myself... it's a matter of time til I fall so far behind that I drop out. When I'm not doing my "normal person" activities, I lie in bed all day, don't shower, don't eat and don't go outside unless I need to get groceries or alcohol.

It's an exhausting image to keep up with and it's all a huge lie.
 
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Mm80

Mm80

Enlightened
May 15, 2019
1,604
To me functioning alone doesnt give happiness or growth. It just means that you are doing the things that help you survive. Ie eat sleep, work, maybe exercise. Pay bills, look after dependants maintain friendship.
It reminds me of being on antidepressants, id get everything done but feel empty and purposeless inside.
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,017
Im highly functional in the sense that the kids and house are doing well. If I don't do these things nobody will, and everyone needs me to keep going.
 
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Mm80

Mm80

Enlightened
May 15, 2019
1,604
Im highly functional in the sense that the kids and house are doing well. If I don't do these things nobody will, and everyone needs me to keep going.
Serious question rosey does being depended on and helping others give you a sense of purpose and satisfaction ?
 
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G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,017
Serious question rosey does being depended on and helping others give you a sense of purpose and satisfaction ?
Very much so.
 
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SHThrowAway213

SHThrowAway213

That's the hell I live with
Apr 19, 2018
658
i thought i was the only one not brushing their teeth. the moment i stopped doing it my mouth problems improved!
may i ask what does ctb have to do w meds?
So the main reason I stopped my meds is so my hallucinations can encourage me to do it.
 
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Shades of Grey

Shades of Grey

Student
Jun 17, 2020
183
I probably appear reasonably functional to the outside world. I have an advanced degree and a high-stress job with long hours. It pays the bills... but I don't have much of an existence outside of it, and have to take beta blockers to keep from having panic attacks while I'm there (or thinking about going in).
 
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G

greebo6

Enlightened
Sep 11, 2020
1,589
Is there atleast one single activity which works very well for you either as a hobby giving you happiness and / or peace, or as a profession earning you sufficient money to keep growing ?
I was briefly 'functional' for a while some years ago. But it was probably the one and only time. Makes me sad when I think back.
 
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Reactions: llerutem5, Lilacmoon and Ghost2211
Disappointered

Disappointered

Enlightened
Sep 21, 2020
1,284
I was never particularly functional but I believe I could have been normally functional had my parents not been so bad for my development and provided extremely weak role models. I have held down very low end jobs but when I tried to find a career and went back to school for what is generally considered very competitive education and then finished the required trainings for the career I found myself too miserable, meek and anxious to succeed. Been all downhill from there. Was already pretty bad before attempted career. Now I'm not really functional at all.
 
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Reactions: llerutem5, Élégie, Lilacmoon and 1 other person
R

RedFoxSwims

Member
Oct 8, 2020
43
My job sucks and I can't feel joy so no nothing brightens my day. Only the hope of sweet release is what I look forward to.
 
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