are you cynical too?

[puppybrained]

i wish i wasnt like this. i dont let myself trust anybody or anything. im supposed to be spending time with my bf, but the more he tries to make me feel special and important the sadder i feel. i dont feel like its true and im scared to find out im right. somewhere deep down i want to feel special. i want to feel like i mean something but im so cynical and jaded i just assume everyones using me and there must be ulterior motives to someone trying to make me happy. i just dont want to look like a fool when i fall for it.

does anyone else have a hard time believing people actually like and value them?

 

[lomorbu]

This sounds more like a fear of vulnerability than cynicism

 

[deficient]

I see being a cynic as being a realist because people are indeed motivated by self-interest and you should question the motives of others

 

[puppybrained]

This sounds more like a fear of vulnerability than cynicism

something like that. i just question everyone's intentions.

I see being a cynic as being a realist because people are indeed motivated by self-interest and you should question the motives of others

it will probably keep me safer, but it is coming at the cost of pushing a lot of people away. sort of a difficult position.

 

[atdusk]

I think a key is to separate the perception from the judgement. You can't avoid noticing that people move out of self interest but you can decide if that's a terrible thing that deserves punishment, if that's something you must accept or if it's not something for you to judge.

As I get older I go more for the second or third option. I am not the judge of the world and I've seen enough imperfection in myself to stop judging people around me so harshly.

 

[ConfusedClouds]

I really do. A colleague at work gave me some posh chocolates the other day. No explanation, no justification. Just mumbled something about not being keen on mint themselves and I was worth it. So dubious and realised later I never even managed to say thank you to her. Just kinda stood there bemused and when we crossed paths throughout the shift it was never mentioned again.

I can only really accept complements or whatever if I know I have gone above and beyond and/or done or given something specific that could be being 'rewarded' or 'appreciated'.

 

[cherrylace]

maybe do basic things like playing a small video game you like together or talking about a show you like can help give you a sense of what you're willing to be comfortable with to share or see what you are willing to talk about

 

[cryone]

mm i can tell there are certainly some people who do like me, cause they go out of their way to try to start a convo for 0 reward. but i often suspect an ulterior motive w/ the government and anything that can possibly relate to $.

 

[sserafim]

I'm chronically cynical

 

[prana]

I wonder this but then I realize my beliefs about myself are calibrated to allow me to accurately predict what will happen in the world around me. I feel jaded and overly cynical but that's the way it is.