Are you allowing yourself the option to back out all the way until you initiate the method?

[Ambivalent1]

Ideally, going to the bridge would just be a trip to the bridge to see the view. No plan to die *wink wink.* Can't let my brain know what the other hemisphere is thinking. Or do you have to be fully committed to the act before you set off in your car? The pressure and stress seem like they would be huge.

 

[sserafim]

I crashed my car into the bridge, I watched, I let it burn

 

[Ambivalent1]

I crashed my car into the bridge, I watched, I let it burn

Song lyrics?

 

[sserafim]

Song lyrics?

Ya lol

 

[LongForWordlessSong]

Ideally, going to the bridge would just be a trip to the bridge to see the view. No plan to die *wink wink.* Can't let my brain know what the other hemisphere is thinking. Or do you have to be fully committed to the act before you set off in your car? The pressure and stress seem like they would be huge.

I've been thinking about this a lot as well, and while many people die by suicide because of the result of a split decision, for me I will have to 100% commit to be able to do it. I've had attempts before, and I guess I wasn't ready then, I was definitely in a similar mindset of trying to trick my brain into everything being normal until the actual moment where I prepare and drink the SN mixture. But when I am ready to die, then I know I will die. When I really want to and I'm sure of it. It will need to be a proper, scheduled plan. This gives me much peace, because I want this soon. When I am ready, I will detail my plan here on this forum, and I am very grateful for the direction and information that has already been provided to me by this resource.

 

[jellie]

i think i would need to feel fully committed. dying is scary and a big decision so i need to be all in. no point in lying to myself to make the end less scary. its okay to be scared of death.

 

[3/4Dead]

I've been thinking about this a lot as well, and while many people die by suicide because of the result of a split decision, for me I will have to 100% commit to be able to do it. I've had attempts before, and I guess I wasn't ready then, I was definitely in a similar mindset of trying to trick my brain into everything being normal until the actual moment where I prepare and drink the SN mixture. But when I am ready to die, then I know I will die. When I really want to and I'm sure of it. It will need to be a proper, scheduled plan. This gives me much peace, because I want this soon. When I am ready, I will detail my plan here on this forum, and I am very grateful for the direction and information that has already been provided to me by this resource.

Very similarly, I want to be ready in my entirety. I know that my suicide will impact a few people very seriously and I refuse to give them the panic of my suicide if I truly am not prepared. I want to be certain that my survival instinct is nothing more than its involuntary function and I have no doubts, and I want to be sure that when I am ready I can truly know I will be at peace with my decision.


I know I can change my mind until the point when I black out; that is how I plan to go about it. I'll just have to check in with myself to be sure I am ready constantly.

 

[UKscotty]

You can't lie to yourself, we only have one brain. Anything we come up with will be coming from ourselves.

Only once we are ready will we CTB in my view.

 

[Ambivalent1]

You can't lie to yourself, we only have one brain. Anything we come up with will be coming from ourselves.

Only once we are ready will we CTB in my view.

I could see myself driving there calm because I think I'm just visiting the bridge.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think you should visit the bridge regardless- if you haven't already. I've visited one in the past to check out the height of the railings and just how it felt to be there.

But sure- you could go along with the whole- I'll see how I feel when I get there. Today could be the day or, I might just enjoy the view.

For SN though- that's best to prepare for. I'd likely want to do the 3 day method. But, I'm hoping I can fool myself into just knocking back the mixture like foul tasting water. I drink water everyday- I keep telling myself it shouldn't be hard but, I suspect it will be.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I drink water everyday- I keep telling myself it shouldn't be hard but, I suspect it will be.

It is the hardest part of it, you can have whatever regimen you want for sn but the hardest thing will be to knock it back knowing what comes next is most likely ctb if no help intervenes but even then, there's no guarantees, the more I've learnt about sn, the more my si comes against it. But in any case, it's best to prepare.

 

[Forveleth]

I was going to type a gut reaction to this and then had to stop and really think. Thank you for the intellectual stimulus.

For me, suicide is kind of my "rainy day" plan. I have good days and I have bad days and I know, on a bad day sometime in the future, I'll just... be ready. So it's not about even allowing myself to back out or forcing myself to go through with it. It's more if I'm attempting at all I know I'm ready to go all the way.

 

[_Gollum_]

I think you should visit the bridge regardless- if you haven't already. I've visited one in the past to check out the height of the railings and just how it felt to be there.

But sure- you could go along with the whole- I'll see how I feel when I get there. Today could be the day or, I might just enjoy the view.

I've tried to make an attempt before where I had this mentality of "Just go and make the final decision once you get there," it failed. Not in the sense that the attempt failed, but that I failed to make the attempt in the first place. From that experience I've decided that for me I need to decide before I go whether or not, standing on the ledge, I'm going to jump. I need to be committed to doing it before I even leave.

Also another tip if you're jumping off a bridge, make sure beforehand that you'll be able to comfortably climb over the ledge. Another thing that stopped me during the aforementioned aborted attempt was the fact that I would've had to do some gymnastics to climb onto the ledge, and SI was even more scared of that than the jump itself.