Discussion Are You Afraid of Happiness

[abruptum]

I just recently went from having the worst time of my life and having 2 failed ctb attempts and now for the last couple days ive been fine and actually able to have motivation and enjoy living. Yet for some reason the knowledge that eventually it all returns to darkness just made it all vanish and light that was coming into my life instantly flushed out.

 

[escapefromabuse]

I've recently had this happen. I was gone from this site for a few months. Things were going basically okay in spite of all the turmoil. Then a couple nights ago I woke up with roaring ears and a very heavy sense of impending doom. That coupled with nightmares and about 8 hrs sleep in 3 days...yeah

 

[abruptum]

I've recently had this happen. I was gone from this site for a few months. Things were going basically okay in spite of all the turmoil. Then a couple nights ago I woke up with roaring ears and a very heavy sense of impending doom. That coupled with nightmares and about 8 hrs sleep in 3 days...yeah

Yeah I get that I had 4 days where the world actually looked beautiful and now the overwhelming darkness and suffering that is life has returned
Getting used to only having 3 hours of sleep a night is something I never thought id have to say but nowadays getting 6+ just makes my body feel terrible and my mental instantly set on a bad tone.
I just wish I could find a way to rid the world of all the darkness, even if it meant I took it all upon myself to give others the light they deserve

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

Afraid? No. I just don't think I'm even remotely capable of processing it. If I finally have all the things I want, as well as an idea on how to work with it, that'd be great. But without an idea, I can only imagine fucking everything up.

 

[booray]

Not afraid of happiness at all. I used to have a relatively happy life until I destroyed it with a nasty crystal meth addiction. Everyone around me seems to think that I can have a happy life once again, not the same life that I used to have of course. I say bullsh**! I destroyed my career, my reputation, my finances, and my mental health. How is it even possible that I'll ever find happiness again? I'm so filled with shame and self-loathing that I'll never be able to climb out of this deep dark hole I've dug myself into. I have to ctb soon, before I completely lose my mind.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

I'm not afraid of happiness, but I am afraid of getting too close to people which can make happiness difficult to obtain.

 

[fred farkle]

Im not afraid of Happiness,she is afraid of me,the way she avoids me so strenuously.

 

[abruptum]

I'm not afraid of happiness, but I am afraid of getting too close to people which can make happiness difficult to obtain.

I am so sorry I know its not much but I wish I could take the burden away from you to give you some releif <3

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I can only view happiness as being real within a static, idealistic context. I don't want to be happy in any human way which accepts that people/ things change, as that would destroy the illusion of perfection. My loneliness has no rational solution. It's like admiring a beautiful painting of a scene that will never be that way again, and being unwilling to let go.

 

[aneurysm]

I genuinely believe happiness is not for everyone. If it was, it wouldn't have any value to most people.

I sincerely think the life purpose of some people is to suffer, so others can be happy (indirectly or directly feeding on our suffering).

 

[Makko]

I'm afraid of happiness. Being unhappy is ingrained into my identity and if I suddenly got happiness, I wouldn't know what to do with it. I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I would probably try to get rid of whatever weird thing is making me happy, to restore order.

 

[Conker]

Nah, true happiness isn't something to be afraid of. There's much worse situations. Too bad it remains only but a fantasy dreamed about by wounded creatures.

 

[HopelessCookie]

Not sure if i'm afraid of happiness but I know for sure whenever I start feeling "happy" I go and mess it up and come crashing down again. It's exhausting to keep trying to build myself back up for what seems like no reason

 

[ClairyFairy]

I'm afraid to let go of my unhappiness and embrace life. There is so many reasons why. It's hard to think one day I might be able to function without being constantly suicidal but we will see

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yes, because I know it's usually only a matter of time before I screw up and the source of happiness gets taken away/corrupted or something else that's super unlucky happens to me and it gets taken away/corrupted. Either way hurts way more than the slow misery of my day-to-day because at least I'm used to that.

 

[demuic]

Every time I've tried to be happy or hopeful, it's been brutally crushed. I don't care enough to try and be happy anymore.

 

[I_have_no_one]

i never have feeling happy

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Happiness, that's what happens after two hours of meditation and also after two glasses of whiskey, right? Not scared of it, no, I rather enjoy it.

 

[I_have_no_one]

Happiness, that's what happens after two hours of meditation and also after two glasses of whiskey, right? Not scared of it, no, I rather enjoy it.

When I was a child, I was beaten and ridiculed by people at home, at school, at youth centers, and I am still poor. Of course I can sleep and I can get alcohol or nicotine, but I am still sick like a knife in my back and I am so angry and sad when I think about my life.
At school, teachers hit me, my parents hit me too, and my parents say I'm being bullied and this is my foult. Yes, it's my problem, it's all because I'm poor that I can't help but wear cheap clothes to go to school and get the toys from TV commercials.

 

[abruptum]

I genuinely believe happiness is not for everyone. If it was, it wouldn't have any value to most people.

I sincerely think the life purpose of some people is to suffer, so others can be happy (indirectly or directly feeding on our suffering).

as depressing and unfair as that statement is you just might have some truth, my brain just hasnt come to the conclusion yet i still cant fathom a world in which their isnt some pay off to having to suffer every day. I just dont want my life to all be for nothing and my existence to leave no mark on eternity.

Happiness, that's what happens after two hours of meditation and also after two glasses of whiskey, right? Not scared of it, no, I rather enjoy it.

under 21 so cant relate to the wiskey, but some coffee and a good sunrise id imagine can be the same. I just wish i could keep that moment forever.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I just dont want my life to all be for nothing and my existence to leave no mark on eternity.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm not afraid of happiness. I'm just afraid of finding it and losing it again!

 

[frostedreef]

I just recently went from having the worst time of my life and having 2 failed ctb attempts and now for the last couple days ive been fine and actually able to have motivation and enjoy living. Yet for some reason the knowledge that eventually it all returns to darkness just made it all vanish and light that was coming into my life instantly flushed out.

I can totally relate!

 

[abruptum]

i guess there must be some pros to staying alive till 21

I'm not afraid of happiness. I'm just afraid of finding it and losing it again!

Yeah it seems like no matter what I just cant outrun all the darkness

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

i guess there must be some pros to staying alive till 21

Yeah it seems like no matter what I just cant outrun all the darkness

I'm here because my dad doesn't own a shotgun and I don't want to destroy my family psychologically, that's literally it.

 

[abruptum]

I'm here because my dad doesn't own a shotgun and I don't want to destroy my family psychologically, that's literally it.

Living to keep other people happy is alot harder than it seems I give you props man I know how hard it is