Are you afraid of dying?

[Abyssal]

This has no doubt been asked before, but here I am, ashamed that I have been overcome with this fear. I've made attempts before, albeit uneducated and no doubt non fatal attempts and yet it didn't feel this scary.

My attempt to locate a seller of SN makes me feel sick and fills me with dread. Is this how anyone else felt or feels? It's like I've finally come to terms with the idea that I'm going to die before being happy again, and that feeling is butterflies in my stomach.

Can anyone relate to this? This is my first time experiencing this response.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Yes. Of course. There is not really any getting rid of that fear no matter how long you have been suicidal, meditated on not existing anymore, or how shit your life has continued to turn. It's paradoxical in a way to desperately long for something but be terrified of it at the same time. I don't think there is anything else around that is the object of such diametrically opposed feelings, not to this degree.

Of course the method contributes a lot and with some methods there is less unpleasant stuff to have to reckon with.

 

[Moniker]

Yeah, definitely. I remember during one of my attempts that I had a huge surge of emotions. Fear, sadness, anger, etc.

I think it's a pretty normal response. After all, humans are wired to avoid death.

 

[R_N]

I think I dislike having to go through it more than being dead.

 

[兎の耳]

Yes, of course. It's only natural since humans wouldn't be very successful animals if they weren't programmed to be averse to dying. It's certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[asian.neet]

Yeah. Even more so I'm scared of SI because that'll just fuck everything over

 

[Unknown21]

No, afraid of the process and failure.

 

[waRmblanket]

i wouldn't say i'm scared of death, im just scared of hurting those i love. i genuinely would love for all of my pain and thoughts to stop, but they won't anytime soon.

 

[バラの心]

i agree with u. what i fear most i believe is unknown of what will happen after death, but ofc the whole process is terrifying! it feels to me as if i will be transported to a state of nothingness, which would be so so peaceful. but what if there really is something after death, yk?

 

[UnwillingSavior]

I think I've come to terms with death. I know its a nothingness void, like before birth. But I like to nudge myself "positively" by believing that a fantasy world exists after, or I'll be whisked into an abstract dimension as a conscious entity, silly things like that.

No, afraid of the process and failure.

This. My method of inert gas means that if I screw up or am found before death, I will end up with brain damage and a fate worse than regular life, which is already horrifying and confusing enough.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

Are you afraid of dying?

No. Absolutely.
My life was ruined by nonhumans, traitors. I myself have made many mistakes and actions that make me ashamed. So I am ashamed to continue living, not afraid of death.

 

[FuneralCry]

What I'd fear is a suicide method failing, making existing much more unbearable as a result. In general I just fear existence and all the suffering and harm it causes, it's terrifying how there is no limit as to how torturous existing can get. It comforts me the thought of eternally ceasing to exist because of this, I just hate how suicide is cruelly made so inaccessible.

 

[IsThisEverything]

I'm scared of dying because of fear of the unknown. I don't know whether there's an afterlife and what that would be like. I'm scared it could be worse than my current existence.

 

[MarsProxy]

I'm scared to die, but I'm tired of feeling miserable and crying every single day is rough. I don't want to be alone and I didn't want my partner to die alone.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

The SN method doesn't scary me too much, if the SN method become unavailable i will probably be condemn to keep living with my permanent wish to die as other method terrify me. I'm also curious whether there is an afterlife or not but i'm not really scary.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

I am afraid of failing. I don't want to live with some soft of terrible side effect from not properly getting the job done. Not the average religious person but I'm also scared of what other effects it will have. Don't want to be reincarnated into a shittier state than I am. Personally, I think hell is now, and not after we die. But regardless I am terrified of eternity. Even if its "heaven" I don't want to exist forever. Even in an afterlife. I just want to end

 

[AntHills]

I think a person has to reach a pretty severe psychological breakpoint before they can let go of their fear of death, especially considering the amount of religious fear mongering that most people are exposed to when they're very young.

 

[Unknown21]

I think I've come to terms with death. I know its a nothingness void, like before birth. But I like to nudge myself "positively" by believing that a fantasy world exists after, or I'll be whisked into an abstract dimension as a conscious entity, silly things like that.


This. My method of inert gas means that if I screw up or am found before death, I will end up with brain damage and a fate worse than regular life, which is already horrifying and confusing enough.

That's really terrifying me, if there's no failure I would have been dead already.

My method is SN and if I failed I'll be barin damaged and paralyzed and maybe blind, unable to eat or sowallow even my saliva, amnesiac, kidney damaged, liver damaged, and cancer is possible.

 

[thx1138]

I wouldn't be if the method was peaceful like a lethal injection or opioids? But as it stands now I'm afraid of the process of dying.

I wish euthanasia was a thing.

 

[hopelessoceanic25]

Growing up with Buddhist roots, death has never really been a taboo thing, it's embraced as a very natural thing. I think it's truly the SI part that really sucks for us humans who struggle with suicidal thoughts.

Really wish euthanasia was accepted for humans. Still baffled as to why it's okay for pets, but not for us humans.

 

[tarococo]

Yeah, I'm afraid because obviously, we don't know what happens afterwards. I personally don't believe that there's nothing, but I also don't believe in some kind of heaven..
But death is natural, everone will die one day, so I'm trying to tell myself that there's no need to be scared..

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, I am. Dying is scary. It's death that's bliss

 

[Ksmиda]

Of dying, yes. Of death, a bit.

 

[user56765567]

Yeah I mean I've gotten that dread multiple times like when I've gone to test out my equipment and on the days where I just go out to where I'm going to do it and was just ready to go in the moment with everything set up and you get that here it is moment as well as this mix of dread and SI. I've also gotten it when buying and receiving the items too. I think the dread has change for me overtime in different subtle ways but it also feels similar to the other times when I have experiences this as well as I think back on those moments. I think dying freaks me out a little bit but I think it's also the moment of realizing that once I do this I could be totally gone or going to an unknown place thats not here that kind of spooks me even if it just the possibility because im not 100% sure like the back of my mind stuff is coming forward.

 

[ropearoundatree]

Fuck no. But I've been at this game a long-time. . .

 

[DreamEnd]

Yes I'm dearly afraid. I don't know what to do with this fear. I'm scared of the unknown and what's on the other side.