Are we bound to end up alone ?

[Endofit]

Hi.

I have been wanting to ctb since a couple of years. And I see it as a journey to the breaking point, which I did not reach yet. As I develloped my suicidal thought, I sometimes shared it with some friends or family. Im often met with responses such as "Its not rational", "you have no reason to kys", or sometimes people just avoid the subject. My mother especially avoid asking me how I am, how I feel. Its painful but its not my point.

My point is that no one is understanding or even trying to get the whole feeling I have. There is no room for suicidal thoughts, its a sickness and Its not valid. Now if I continue my journey towards ctb, I know that I will end up alone.

Is it the path everyone here is following ? Is the breaking point at the end of that lonely path ? Is it even useful leaving a note, knowing that my friends and family will see me as an ill mind anyway rather than understand ? Is suicide the apex of loneliness ?

 

[mortuarymary]

I see it like this, we do end up alone. Most die alone, partner already gone, family thousands of miles away. we will all be alone at the end.

 

[-Link-]

Do you love your mother? Do you love your family?

How would you feel if they were diagnosed with a terminal illness?

Whoever you love and care about, take a moment and seriously imagine how you would feel to hear them tell you they've been diagnosed with a terminal illness and how much pain they're in and how their life is going to end.

This is what they're feeling when you talk about suicide with them.

They are avoiding the subject because it's too painful for them to bear.

As far as our suicidality, yes, we pretty much have to be alone with it because the only people who can truly understand (or even handle the conversation at all) are other people who are suicidal.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I certainly believe so as sadly pretty much nowhere is supportive towards suicide as a valid option, I personally believe it's better to stay quiet as humans just create more suffering with their insensitivity.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Hmm...
No. personally it's not the apex of loneliness (great term by the way).
For me it's like this:
I'm happy to have experienced different things because this life, as miserable as it seems at times, has glimpses or moments of amazing and awesome stuff. Having said that, based on my experiences, it's not a journey I want to continue anymore.
Like stopping the car because I dont like the direction it's headed. For some, granted, it may be loneliness, but personally, loneliness doesnt factor into my decision.

 

[Endofit]

I see it like this, we do end up alone. Most die alone, partner already gone, family thousands of miles away. we will all be alone at the end.

I get what you mean. But some die around loved ones, or "feeling" like they are understood.

Do you love your mother? Do you love your family?

How would you feel if they were diagnosed with a terminal illness?

Whoever you love and care about, take a moment and seriously imagine how you would feel to hear them tell you they've been diagnosed with a terminal illness and how much pain they're in and how their life is going to end.

This is what they're feeling when you talk about suicide with them.

They are avoiding the subject because it's too painful for them to bear.

As far as our suicidality, yes, we pretty much have to be alone with it because the only people who can truly understand (or even handle the conversation at all) are other people who are suicidal.

They can't handle the conversation for sure. I don't know if they are in pain hearing me, or not taking it seriously. It feels like they are trying to throw it away with some fake positivity, or distance. It feels like its more about their own view on life. Idk if that makes sense.

Yes, I certainly believe so as sadly pretty much nowhere is supportive towards suicide as a valid option, I personally believe it's better to stay quiet as humans just create more suffering with their insensitivity.

I started to shup up indeed. Everytime I shared was a disaster..

Hmm...
No. personally it's not the apex of loneliness (great term by the way).
For me it's like this:
I'm happy to have experienced different things because this life, as miserable as it seems at times, has glimpses or moments of amazing and awesome stuff. Having said that, based on my experiences, it's not a journey I want to continue anymore.
Like stopping the car because I dont like the direction it's headed. For some, granted, it may be loneliness, but personally, loneliness doesnt factor into my decision.

I like the car stop metaphore too. I kind of have the same view on it. I don't like where my life has gone, and still is going. I'd rather stop. And for that I need to accept that the end of my life will be a lonely one. I get why people want to share their final moments on here, because ending it alone is a harsh feeling, at least to me

 

[Argo]

I think life itself is the apex of loneliness. Any identity based consciousness is by definition, alone. All we have is this undefined and fundamentally unconnectable experience. No matter how you slice it, you're born alone, you live out your entire life alone, and you die alone. No one can ever take a peek inside and go , "Ohhhh I see, that's what it's like". You can never "invite a friend into your home", so to speak, and you can never be invited into theirs. All we have are these representations but they're ultimately superimposed ontop of our own egocentric bubble, from which we can never escape as long as we live(and perhaps longer), and to which no one can enter.

 

[F@#$]

Bound to be alone seems to be the trend for me.