Are there platitudes that contain truth? Could you name one?

[noname223]

I listened to a writer. He said there are some platitudes which contain real meaning. But due to the fact we are so used to them they sound banal. I cannot give his full argumentation in the same words. I think he wanted to say that in our postmodern societies true heroism is for many only a joke. Due to hyper-individualistic societies we lose common values and principles. Everything is seen as subjective and truth as a concept is questioned. Platitiudes are considered as a shallow outdated form of values. Due to the fact everything was subjective certan kind of wisdom would be irrelvant. Defending traditional values will make you an easy target of mockery.

I am not sure whether I agree with this argumentation- Personally I am rather annoyed when people give me platitudes as an advice. I have the feeling many people don't have any clue about mental illness and often rely on platitudes about it because they don't have a differentiated opinion. It is rather the result of old stereotypes in my experience.

On the other hand there are probably some values which can be transcended by platitudes. A more positive word for that would be truisms. (I just read there is a difference about truisms and platitudes)
I don't think all platitudes are helpful. They can also cause damage. Personally I think platitudes rather have done more bad for me than good.

But here I try to give some platitudes which might contain some wisdom.

Nobody is perfect. - Don't pressure yourself too much. Don't compare yourself with idols or for example influencers. They are only humans and we all have our flaws. But some are quite good at hiding them behind a facade.

Everybody changes. We all develop in some kind. Not always for the better though. Life is a process of learning. We all change ourselves every single day. Maybe we are not aware about it. But our mind is exposed to billions of impressions every singly day. Sadly most of the people here are exposed to severe pain.

That is just my opinion. This is an interesting one. I have not thought about it much. I am saying this quite often. I use it so that other people don't get offended when I say something controversial. On the other hand it can be used as an excuse for spreading hate or defending toxic behavior. In the end though all opinions are only personal views.

Here are some other platitudes.
Money cannot buy you happiness. There is more fish in the sea. Honest is the best policy. Who laughs last, laughs best. It does not matter what you are doing as long as you are having fun with it.

Do you think platitudes are always damaging or are they always per definition not helpful. What about truisms?

Which platitude do you consider as potentially helpful? Which one annoys you the most?

 

[Celerity]

"Time heals all wounds"

It's not true, but if you swap out "all" for "most", it's basically true. This may be a slap in the face to people who suffer from PTSD, but that is an aberration. On the whole, the intensity of your distress due to a negative event decreases over time.

Looking back on my teenage years, I view them pretty favorably now that I am out of them, even though I have individual memories of waking up and hating my life much more intensely than I do as an adult.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

The problem with platitudes is that they are overused and moralistic. The broadness of a platitude works against it, because people throw them out with a different intention to the original meaning. They are well-known and sound as if they are infallible truth but not always well understood.

"Nobody's perfect" is hard to argue with, but it's not hard to imagine all of the ways that would be misused.

I don't think time actually heals any non-physical wounds, it just make them feel less painful, and therefore easier.

Fresh wounds throb.

 

[Julgran]

I listened to a writer. He said there are some platitudes which contain real meaning. But due to the fact we are so used to them they sound banal. I cannot give his full argumentation in the same words. I think he wanted to say that in our postmodern societies true heroism is for many only a joke. Due to hyper-individualistic societies we lose common values and principles. Everything is seen as subjective and truth as a concept is questioned. Platitiudes are considered as a shallow outdated form of values. Due to the fact everything was subjective certan kind of wisdom would be irrelvant. Defending traditional values will make you an easy target of mockery.

I am not sure whether I agree with this argumentation- Personally I am rather annoyed when people give me platitudes as an advice. I have the feeling many people don't have any clue about mental illness and often rely on platitudes about it because they don't have a differentiated opinion. It is rather the result of old stereotypes in my experience.

On the other hand there are probably some values which can be transcended by platitudes. A more positive word for that would be truisms. (I just read there is a difference about truisms and platitudes)
I don't think all platitudes are helpful. They can also cause damage. Personally I think platitudes rather have done more bad for me than good.

But here I try to give some platitudes which might contain some wisdom.

Nobody is perfect. - Don't pressure yourself too much. Don't compare yourself with idols or for example influencers. They are only humans and we all have our flaws. But some are quite good at hiding them behind a facade.

Everybody changes. We all develop in some kind. Not always for the better though. Life is a process of learning. We all change ourselves every single day. Maybe we are not aware about it. But our mind is exposed to billions of impressions every singly day. Sadly most of the people here are exposed to severe pain.

That is just my opinion. This is an interesting one. I have not thought about it much. I am saying this quite often. I use it so that other people don't get offended when I say something controversial. On the other hand it can be used as an excuse for spreading hate or defending toxic behavior. In the end though all opinions are only personal views.

Here are some other platitudes.
Money cannot buy you happiness. There is more fish in the sea. Honest is the best policy. Who laughs last, laughs best. It does not matter what you are doing as long as you are having fun with it.

Do you think platitudes are always damaging or are they always per definition not helpful. What about truisms?

Which platitude do you consider as potentially helpful? Which one annoys you the most?

Here are three common platitudes that I see no wrong with:

• Good things come to those who wait (we will die eventually)
• Such is life (who can disagree..?)
• Live each moment like it's your last (any moment can be one's last)

 

[Astronauta]

Pra tudo tem jeito!

Mentira!
Tem coisas que não dependem de mim , não depende do quanto tente ou me esforço. Simplesmente não vai.

 

[Celerity]

The problem with platitudes is that they are overused and moralistic. The broadness of a platitude works against it, because people throw them out with a different intention to the original meaning. They are well-known and sound as if they are infallible truth but not always well understood.

"Nobody's perfect" is hard to argue with, but it's not hard to imagine all of the ways that would be misused.

I don't think time actually heals any non-physical wounds, it just make them feel less painful, and therefore easier.

Fresh wounds throb.

I think you're splitting hairs here but fair enough.

 

[chloramine]

I think it's (usually) less the fault of the platitudes and more how people use them.

The problem with things like "things will get better" is that it's being used to dismiss people's pain. It's mostly true that if things are bad they will improve (maybe not a lot, but think of going from that choking desperation to a more consistent level of pain- our brains literally cannot continue some levels of things indefinitely), but when you tell someone "I'm in pain" and that's their response. It's not helpful. And it's kind of implying that your current pain doesn't matter because it won't last for literally forever? Which is a ridiculous idea, but.

Platitudes are too often used as ways to push people away. If people said "hey I hear you and I'm really sorry that's your situation, but I'm not in a place where I can listen or help right now" it wouldn't be anywhere near as insulting.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

.

Man tbh, I would kill for "things will get better" if I said "I'm in pain". That's much nicer than what I'm used to.

"You're always in pain."

I've cut those people out of my life as much as I can now. What you wrote is what I meant about platitudes being misused, it's not even well-meaning always, they can be used dismissively.

I think you're splitting hairs here but fair enough.

Not at all, there's a large difference. I still get nightmares, and that's the least of the problems. When someone is hurting right now for whatever reason, I don't think it helps to hear that time will heal it.

 

[Celerity]

Man tbh, I would kill for "things will get better" if I said "I'm in pain". That's much nicer than what I'm used to.

"You're always in pain."

I've cut those people out of my life as much as I can now. What you wrote is what I meant about platitudes being misused, it's not even well-meaning always, they can be used dismissively.

Not at all, there's a large difference. I still get nightmares, and that's the least of the problems. When someone is hurting right now for whatever reason, I don't think it helps to hear that time will heal it.

Nightmares are a symptom of PTSD, which is what I included in my post. Something being upsetting in your case doesn't make it any less true for others. We will have to agree to disagree here.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

"Time heals most wounds except for the ones I've decided it doesn't." is basically a tautology. I think it's untrue because it's dismissive of people's individual experiences, not just mine. Some wounds are more severe than others, some things are inescapable. The platitude is too broad, it's used dismissively. There's just too many examples I can think of where it's not helpful.

 

[Celerity]

"Time heals most wounds except for the ones I've decided it doesn't." is basically a tautology. I think it's untrue because it's dismissive of people's individual experiences, not just mine. Some wounds are more severe than others, some things are inescapable. The platitude is too broad, it's used dismissively.

You are describing the problem with all platitudes; that is their essential limitation. OP is asking for platitudes which have a grain of truth.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

You are describing the problem with all platitudes; that is their essential limitation. OP is asking for platitudes which have a grain of truth.

You're basing it on your subjective experience, you said you look back fondly on your teenage years. In my experience it's completely untrue. You're moving the goalposts, OP asked for platitudes that were helpful and not damaging as well. I don't find it helpful at all.

If you post here "Time heals all/most wounds" that is not the solution to everyone's problems here, for sure. I'm sure some people would be offended.

 

[Celerity]

You're basing it on your subjective experience, you said you look back fondly on your teenage years. In my experience it's completely untrue. You're moving the goalposts, OP asked for platitudes that were helpful and not damaging as well. I don't find it helpful at all.

Again, we will need to agree to disagree. You have your experience. I have mine. I would say "time heals all wounds" is pretty true for most people even if most folks here find the saying aggravating.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Again, we will need to agree to disagree. You have your experience. I have mine. I would say "time heals all wounds" is pretty true for most people even if most folks here find the saying aggravating.

How do you know it's true for most people?

Platitudes are awful. Most people here are sick of listening to them, tbh. Many platitudes can be easily used dismissively and without wisdom.

 

[Celerity]

How do you know it's true for most people?

Psychological studies have said it before. It's covered under the Pollyanna Principle. It has been years since I learned of it, and psychology is a young (and very flawed) science, but the findings don't conflict all that much with what I have observed in real life by talking to other people who are not on this forum and who give no indication that they're depressed.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Psychological studies have said it before. It's covered under the Pollyanna Principle. It has been years since I learned of it, and psychology is a young (and very flawed) science, but the findings don't conflict all that much with what I have observed in real life by talking to other people who are not on this forum and who give no indication that they're depressed.

Fair enough. I think Pollyanna Principle mainly affects optimists. It's the opposite for me, I keenly feel negative experiences in the past, and positive experiences are few and hard to remember, and generally pretty vain too, so I can't share them. It says Pollyanna is actually dangerous but I wouldn't mind something in-between. I'm still a positive person, but that only helps me, in the same way I feel that the best positivity for most people is when they feel it from themselves and it's not pushed on them.

 

[chloramine]

Nightmares are a symptom of PTSD, which is what I included in my post. Something being upsetting in your case doesn't make it any less true for others. We will have to agree to disagree here.

I think that's an example of a platitude being misused in order to be dismissive or for the listener to exit the conversation. Nightmares happen outside of PTSD and responding to someone telling you about one that way is a little tone deaf? At least if that's the only response. I could see it being a part of a larger, more engaged response, but by itself it kinda just. Shuts down conversation.

 

[Celerity]

I think that's an example of a platitude being misused in order to be dismissive or for the listener to exit the conversation. Nightmares happen outside of PTSD and responding to someone telling you about one that way is a little tone deaf? At least if that's the only response. I could see it being a part of a larger, more engaged response, but by itself it kinda just. Shuts down conversation.

Did you read all of our replies? This back-and-forth has taken up most of the thread (sorry, OP). I also never claimed nightmares are exclusive to PTSD. It is a prominent symptom though. Repetitive nightmares indicate trauma. My point still stands that the platitude works for most people for most cases.

I honestly wish I had never replied to this thread at all. I have said my peace and will be unfollowing this thread. I'm sure OP would like to hear from more people.