Venting apparently sadness, grief and depression are different things

[raindrops]

I think this is true. Sorry for this long ass post.

When i first joined SS i was definitely on my way to depression, i covered my windows with blankets because i didnt want to see daylight,
i ate junk and i ate fast but i didnt cook any of my meals thankfully and very grateful for my grandmother she cooked for me, i certainly didnt want to cook even if i was hungry.
i wondered what the use was in bathing, i had no one to bathe for i would tell myself, until a friend said "erm, yourself?" so i would wash even though i didnt want too, bit personal but i wouldnt shave, all of these little things i started to ignore. i know now that i was sinking into depression. i didnt go out for 3 months, we had lockdown but regardless i wouldnt of gone out even if we were allowed.

now... right now i dont know how to feel, i feel gratitude a lot though. im so so happy!! i really am, but mostly i feel sad, im clearly not depressed but i am very sad, i have a mix of so many emotions.
my reason? im finally with my partner, we are together, im so grateful, i feel alive, i feel great, a few friends know about us, his grandparents know which fills me with so much happiness!!!...
but his dad is yet to know...this fills me with sadness. i want the world to know, i want acceptance you know.
he told me 2 days ago his father hasn't spoke to him in a while, this hurt me and when i had stayed round his grandparents house with him his dad came to visit, then apparently left immediately. when asked do you think because of me? he said i dunno, i said do you think because of us and he replied to that with "i suppose some people dont understand but my nan and grandad do, youre here now arent you? and my mum does too, she said she would speak with you"
im sure his dad left because i was staying with my partner, i was in the house and i feel his dad 100% left because i was there.

rejection is the worst, i just want love, to love and be loved AND I HAVE THAT but to be wanted and to surround myself with people who love me and see my worth. this all sounds so stupid because im not a big headed person (i have to put that there because i sound so self-entitled) i dont think my opinions matter but my reason for being on this site is because of rejection in the first place. now im finally happy, im making him happy, we do so many amazing things its only right his parents would be on board with us, right?
this makes for a happy, easy life together.
i pray to see his mother and father again... i pray for more amazing, better, happier times. i suppose for now im just sad, not depressed though.

 

[tireddreamer]

Your partner loves you and is happy being with you, and that's all that matters. You are in a relationship with your partner, not your partner's parents.

Maybe his parents will come around with time and accept you, maybe not. But worrying about things you have no control over just causes pain and misery.

 

[ZardozOmega]

Yeah, they are different. Depression is a disease. Sadness and grief are normal emotions that normal people will experience from time to time.

 

[All washed up]

Yes I had quite bad grief when my dad died unexpectedly but that and the depression im suffering now are completely different feelings.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Why doesn't his father accept you? How old are you? Both of you have living grandparents, so I am guessing you are young.

 

[k75]

It sounds like you might have suffered situational depression instead of clinical depression. It's no less valid, but it's more of a reaction to specific things that can get better on its own. That's the type of depression people are thinking of when the platitudes come out. They don't realize there are different kinds of depression.

 

[raindrops]

Why doesn't his father accept you? How old are you? Both of you have living grandparents, so I am guessing you are young.

March this year we split after living together for 3 years but had been together for 11 years.
we are both 27. I had to go home to my grandmother, he immediately went to his dad of course, although he now lives with his grandparents because he has a room there. All of his family are close though. I think he told his father of the arguments that had happened, sometimes I could shout so loud the police would turn up, I am embarrassed about that, oh I wish I could go back 3 years of my life, I wish I was nicer, I wish I had gratitude then.
Would you believe it his auntie works in the courts and apparently she knew when he had been arrested, yet he never went to court (?) how on earth she would know of these things when these arrests were simple cautions nothing more, nothing serious.
As you could imagine I'm thinking his dad knows all of these crazy stories, admittedly I was bad, the way I shouted, the way I accused him of things, worried too much, stressed him out loads. Now I want to start again, I want a happy life, I want to give love and make people happy, I'm so glad we speak now, I just need family on board, after all my only family with me right now is my grandmother.