![ecmnesia](/data/avatars/l/21/21336.jpg?1601690696)
ecmnesia
the only thing humans are equal in is death
- Aug 30, 2020
- 767
i don't care about most things anymore. they might be bad, might be important, still it just doesn't matter to me, not enough for me to do something about it.
not taking the meds right, having terrible side effects and still... don't care. anxiety crisis... don't care. terrible pain... don't care. failing or suceeding in stuff... don't care. it seems everything, even though they affect me, is irrelevant. I can even force myself to care for cbt anymore, I want to die and hate every second of existence, still, I don't care, I lack the drive to do something about it.
I make no effort at all to mantain conversations or relationships.
I'm aware that I look horrible, been careless for quite a time about my appearance, and I see people looking me sideways when I go out, still, I just don't care. I could win the lotery and wouldn't feel a thing. I had to make some "big" decisions latetly and I couldn't even bother choosing, whatever happened I was fine with if it. Somehow, i can't explain it right, but I can't feel my feelings, I know I'm in emotional pain, but it's as if I'm detached from it.
I get angry, tho, but that's all, and sometimes for brief moments I feel stuff, but then suddenly, as fast as it came, it's gone.
what's this?
it's poorly written.. but yeah.
not taking the meds right, having terrible side effects and still... don't care. anxiety crisis... don't care. terrible pain... don't care. failing or suceeding in stuff... don't care. it seems everything, even though they affect me, is irrelevant. I can even force myself to care for cbt anymore, I want to die and hate every second of existence, still, I don't care, I lack the drive to do something about it.
I make no effort at all to mantain conversations or relationships.
I'm aware that I look horrible, been careless for quite a time about my appearance, and I see people looking me sideways when I go out, still, I just don't care. I could win the lotery and wouldn't feel a thing. I had to make some "big" decisions latetly and I couldn't even bother choosing, whatever happened I was fine with if it. Somehow, i can't explain it right, but I can't feel my feelings, I know I'm in emotional pain, but it's as if I'm detached from it.
I get angry, tho, but that's all, and sometimes for brief moments I feel stuff, but then suddenly, as fast as it came, it's gone.
what's this?
it's poorly written.. but yeah.