Apathetic Towards Death

[dontsaveher]

Is anyone else feeling apathetic and unserious towards everything including their own death?

I believe I gave life a good shot, I took the time to heal what physical and emotional wounds I could, resolved situations in my control that were causing excess stress, and sought advice from professionals and people around me.

I tried multiple medications to the point where I am mostly numb to my depressive emotions, (I can verify that they definitely work for anyone unsure if they are worth trying), although I do recognise that they may also be contributing to my newfound attitude towards life but I'm not mad about it.

I think I've reached a point of self-awareness and detachment that is irreversible. I've finally escaped the purgatory that I was held captive in for the last 7 years.

I am able to confirm that I simply do not want to exist and suffer, and that's okay.

I haven't felt this content and certain before and it's an odd feeling. I guess ultimately, I am grateful for the rare moments of joy I experienced on this Earth but I have accepted that my time here will be over soon.

 

[awfullymorbid]

Yes! I've been trying to convey this message but I feel like no one really gets it. When I say I want to die I don't necessarily mean it in a depressive way, all I know is that I want it and it's in one way my only goal. There's not a lot else, other than the thought of death, that makes me feel something.

 

[woodlandcreature]

this exactly.

i know this is the only path for me. it is what it is. i get more frustrated/upset about people than about being dead. i dont care about that.

i tried more than most do and i'm still in the same spot (worse, actually). i've accepted this end. im too tired to fight or care all that much anymore.