Help Anyone with BPD (Borderline) have suggestions on how to get over an FP (Favorite Person)?

[HopeisjustaPoison]

Maybe it's a hopeless cause, or maybe I need to commit harder to doing my DBT self-study, but I don't want to have my FP.

Current one is my ex. We are very close and chat/message almost every day. I would want to get back together with him, but he's "not ready" or something like that.

When we talk, life is good and meaningful. When he doesn't respond to me, I self sabotage in different ways: not eating, punishing myself with sensory kicks, browsing forums like SS.

This isn't healthy. I still want the friendship we have. How do I get over him (if possible)? I've thought about starting a dating profile, but then I worry I'm using the "next" person in order to salvage my relationship with him.

 

[Someone123]

I think it would be a good idea to either spend more time with friends or, if you don't have close friends, then work on adding some friends so that you are not so dependent on this one friendship- this would help a lot with your stability I think- or else spend some more time with family members who care about you (or both), if you have some, and depend on them some more. I personally wouldn't start a dating profile since you still would like to get back together and he hasn't closed the door to this at this time. It could be healthier for your relationship with him if you did get more caring from some other people in your life- friends and family- rather than depending on him so much for this. Maybe this support will help you get more stable emotionally and this might help him to come back into a relationship at some point. Or else at some point he might say he wants to stay just friends. But if you had more caring and support from other people it would take some of the pressure off of him to be so much of your support system. I'm just guessing at what might help, please use your own judgment about what is best. Best of luck to you.