Anyone wake up & check here hoping for a magical new way to die?

[Retched]

Mornings are evil because I am still here. I check here seeing if there is some grand new secrete on how to ctb.

I tried to die again this weekend. It didn't work. I can't seem to follow through with partial it seems. The bright red mark on my neck didn't last long, so it tells me that I'm not even trying hard enough with it. I mean, glad it's gone I guess, so I don't have to explain it away but yeah.

I'm a shell of a person and feel like the walking dead.

 

[dysfunctional]

Yes, waking up into my real life nightmare is always a huge let down.

Sorry things didn't work out as you'd hoped this weekend.

I'm starting to accept that I've looked at most of the ways to ctb and they're all kinda rough and require overcoming survival instinct. Maybe less with N but not sure I have the money for that.

 

[Help_Me]

I know that feeling. N. is still unbeatable and on top of the suicide Olymp. I think all possible methods are already known here and kind of "exhausted". People prefer to improve already existing methods and they are good at it ! We now have tons of discussions about gas, .N and hanging, some people share their experience and help others to get rid of popular myths. For example, when I was 16, I was literally thinking people can die just by cutting their veins)) haha ! You know, all that useless bullsh*t stuff we learn from mass media since childhood. Now I know it is much harder, but SS reveals a lot of secrets and always provides us with useful information. I wish one day we will find a new chemical like N, which would be easy to obtain.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Not so much, because I figure if it's an established and legitimate way to die then it would already be pretty well known to the community at large. I'm definitely uncomfortable with being a Guinea pig for any sort of ctb experiment that isn't tried and true. I'm terrified of becoming a vegetable. Of course there are always going to be major risks involved, but at least we can research those and minimize the chances when it comes to the more well-known methods.

Of course, I do always hate waking up and feeling like total garbage physically and mentally. Being alive is pure torture.

 

[bigj75]

yes. Night night method is what I found

 

[Goldie]

I know that feeling. N. is still unbeatable and on top of the suicide Olymp. I think all possible methods are already known here and kind of "exhausted". People prefer to improve already existing methods and they are good at it ! We now have tons of discussions about gas, .N and hanging, some people share their experience and help others to get rid of popular myths. For example, when I was 16, I was literally thinking people can die just by cutting their veins)) haha ! You know, all that useless bullsh*t stuff we learn from mass media since childhood. Now I know it is much harder, but SS reveals a lot of secrets and always provides us with useful information. I wish one day we will find a new chemical like N, which would be easy to obtain.

I was exactly the same! My first suicidal thoughts when I was about 14 involved slitting my wrists. I had no idea how bad a method that would have been back then.

I don't personally go on here and hope for new methods because I have my method - N.

Do you anticipate problems with getting N?

 

[sadsoul]

I wish I could just pm the admin of the universe and ask them to delete my account

 

[Retched]

I wish I could just pm the admin of the universe and ask them to delete my account

Well put.

 

[Retched]

I was exactly the same! My first suicidal thoughts when I was about 14 involved slitting my wrists. I had no idea how bad a method that would have been back then.

I don't personally go on here and hope for new methods because I have my method - N.

Do you anticipate problems with getting N?

I had a weird email chain with A that made me wary. The angst of having to wait those few weeks for delivery too...I don't know. It sounds good..N...wish it was easier to get.

 

[Retched]

yes. Night night method is what I found

With my unsuccessful attempts at partial, I am not sure that I would be able to follow through with night night...

 

[bigj75]

With my unsuccessful attempts at partial, I am not sure that I would be able to follow through with night night...

what made it unsuccessful?

 

[Help_Me]

I was exactly the same! My first suicidal thoughts when I was about 14 involved slitting my wrists. I had no idea how bad a method that would have been back then.

I don't personally go on here and hope for new methods because I have my method - N.

Do you anticipate problems with getting N?

Yea, people around the world always have some problems with getting N. In most cases it is just being seized by customs. I also fear of that, purchasing and shipping will be almost double price for me if I order N, because of currency (because of freaking politics by the way), it will most likely to be seized and we also have an option of criminal record for ordering such chemicals (if I get caught).

 

[Retched]

what made it unsuccessful?

Me.

 

[Circles]

yes. Night night method is what I found

I'm considering that one too. What made you change your method? Is it more reliable?

 

[Circles]

Mornings are evil because I am still here. I check here seeing if there is some grand new secrete on how to ctb.

I tried to die again this weekend. It didn't work. I can't seem to follow through with partial it seems. The bright red mark on my neck didn't last long, so it tells me that I'm not even trying hard enough with it. I mean, glad it's gone I guess, so I don't have to explain it away but yeah.

I'm a shell of a person and feel like the walking dead.

It sucks waking up knowing what life has stored for you. There are no guarantees besides future suffering with the brief outlook of experiencing a few moments of pain free peace. Walking through life like a shadow breathing but doesn't feel like living. It's such a numbing predicament.

 

[bigj75]

I'm considering that one too. What made you change your method? Is it more reliable?

I was going to do gun but that got taken away. Then I found partial suspension but before I got those supplies I found the night night method.

 

[Lifeisatrap]

Guilty, the sn method in particular in my case. Hoping the forum miraculously finds a way to make it more similar to a less foul tasteing nembutal which was my orignal presumption before learning that I was dead wrong. I'm basically searching for a jesus that can convert water into nembutal instead of wine .

 

[Samuel]

Yes I used to think this everyday, but it's possible to improve some. If you truly want to die you will know when it's your time.

 

[TiredHorse]

Mornings are evil because I am still here. I check here seeing if there is some grand new secrete on how to ctb.

I tried to die again this weekend. It didn't work. I can't seem to follow through with partial it seems. The bright red mark on my neck didn't last long, so it tells me that I'm not even trying hard enough with it. I mean, glad it's gone I guess, so I don't have to explain it away but yeah.

I'm a shell of a person and feel like the walking dead.

Here I am now, doing exactly that. After failing to ctb last night --again.

Starting to think seriously of just using a gun.

 

[TheLastTrip]

I wish I could just pm the admin of the universe and ask them to delete my account

Omg that is going to make me smile for the rest of the day - thank you!

I don't log in hoping for another method, but I do log in hoping that someone has a huge batch of some lethal cocktail and wants to do a mass exit with people from the forum.

 

[sadsoul]

Omg that is going to make me smile for the rest of the day - thank you!

I don't log in hoping for another method, but I do log in hoping that someone has a huge batch of some lethal cocktail and wants to do a mass exit with people from the forum.

Wish we could all meet up and throw a huge ctb party where we drink nembutal and gas the house with CO lol

 

[TAW122]

Yeah, I wished that I didn't wake up when I go to bed the previous night. Sometimes I sleep until noon and then feel like shit knowing that my day is already half over and will have to repeat it again the next day. Sometimes I wished that I got an aneurysm or a painless heart attack and just cease to exist.

People prefer to improve already existing methods and they are good at it ! We now have tons of discussions about gas, .N and hanging, some people share their experience and help others to get rid of popular myths.

Yes, this is what I'm working on in hopes to be able to increase my chances of success to near 100% while reducing failure to near 0%. I've already had in mind that I am likely going to die via a gun at a young age, when suicide ideation began (during my early teens, and more during my young adult life).

 

[Schopenhauer]

Wish we could all meet up and throw a huge ctb party where we drink nembutal and gas the house with CO lol

I would show up for that kind of party!

 

[TheLastTrip]

Wish we could all meet up and throw a huge ctb party where we drink nembutal and gas the house with CO lol

It's such a shame the Chinese suppliers of the powdered N don't actually seem to work, else I'd have happily ordered a big batch (500g) and done that, it'd be lovely to help out everyone who can't get it.

 

[sadsoul]

It's such a shame the Chinese suppliers of the powdered N don't actually seem to work, else I'd have happily ordered a big batch (500g) and done that, it'd be lovely to help out everyone who can't get it.

That's great, but even if you had the N, you sadly couldn't give it to me because I can't travel and you can't send it to me since my parents could find it :/

 

[TheLastTrip]

That's great, but even if you had the N, you sadly couldn't give it to me because I can't travel and you can't send it to me since my parents could find it :/

:( that would have been a bummer.

 

[Goldie]

I wish I could just pm the admin of the universe and ask them to delete my account

hahahaahah very funny.

I had a weird email chain with A that made me wary. The angst of having to wait those few weeks for delivery too...I don't know. It sounds good..N...wish it was easier to get.

I wouldnt worry about it. Atm there is apparently an assistant maintaining the business. There are "consistent reports" of A being good in PPEH for a long time. I will be ordering from A as soon as he starts accepting BTC again.

Yeah, I wished that I didn't wake up when I go to bed the previous night. Sometimes I sleep until noon and then feel like shit knowing that my day is already half over and will have to repeat it again the next day. Sometimes I wished that I got an aneurysm or a painless heart attack and just cease to exist.

I feel exactly the same. I slept until 3pm today. I had to call in sick as I could not face going into work and pretending to be happy.

It's such a shame the Chinese suppliers of the powdered N don't actually seem to work, else I'd have happily ordered a big batch (500g) and done that, it'd be lovely to help out everyone who can't get it.

Chinese powdered N used to be OK but the supply started to dry up and the concentration was being reduced by the supplier.

 

[TiredT0xin]

It sucks waking up knowing what life has stored for you. There are no guarantees besides future suffering with the brief outlook of experiencing a few moments of pain free peace. Walking through life like a shadow breathing but doesn't feel like living. It's such a numbing predicament.

This! THIS! This is the most accurate description of being alive I've ever read. The only bit that's missing is the overwhelming feeling of frustration with pressure from people in my life to keep on living. I've fought like hell 20 years now, and it's not going to get better. Having someone insist otherwise while inflicting the misery I'm trying to escape is just torture on top of torture.

If only there were a 2-for-1 package ctb and a foolproof distraction method for people who keep getting in the way.