Anyone unable to work due to trauma/illness?

[Water-Lily]

I went outside to a restaurant with some relatives yesterday. My grandmother and I had a lot of fun, as we never eat out together. I was observing the waiters and waitresses and how effortlessly they worked. I myself have tried to work many jobs but my trauma and illness always made it difficult. Being in a toxic home does not help with that either and has made it especially hard (triggering suicidality). I acknowledge that my trauma and abuse has made it especially hard to be on par without other 20 year olds (I'm 24) who can work and be more independent. I grieve what I lose and how the abuse stunted my developmental growth. Can anyone relate to this?

 

[Lullaby]

Definitely. It's always been hard for me to keep a job, I wouldn't last more than a week. The longest I had was about 6 months working with animals.

I have pretty severe PTSD; loud noises trigger me (cars honking, people raising their voices, doors slamming), I can't handle when I'm being criticized even constructively, I have a hard time being around men. It's really frustrating, on top of the anxiety and depression.

My last job was in 2019. I had a dissociative episode on the way home from work, ended up somewhere completely different and didn't even realize it. My family urged me to go on disability after that, which was hell to get approved for.

I'm trying to start working again soon. I'm not in the best mind state and I still struggle with the problems above, but I'm almost 28 and it sucks struggling financially. Like you, I definitely want to be more independent. I'm just trying to take my therapy seriously and hope for the best.

 

[Water-Lily]

Definitely. It's always been hard for me to keep a job, I wouldn't last more than a week. The longest I had was about 6 months working with animals.

I have pretty severe PTSD; loud noises trigger me (cars honking, people raising their voices, doors slamming), I can't handle when I'm being criticized even constructively, I have a hard time being around men. It's really frustrating, on top of the anxiety and depression.

My last job was in 2019. I had a dissociative episode on the way home from work, ended up somewhere completely different and didn't even realize it. My family urged me to go on disability after that, which was hell to get approved for.

I'm trying to start working again soon. I'm not in the best mind state and I still struggle with the problems above, but I'm almost 28 and it sucks struggling financially. Like you, I definitely want to be more independent. I'm just trying to take my therapy seriously and hope for the best.

Thats the best thing you can do for yourself. I admire your strength and willingness to share your story. I have only managed to work longest 2 weeks, and quit due to a toxic manager. I have done volunteer and other things (I have volunteered for months to years. Found that easier than working). What kind of work did you do with animals? I wonder if something like that for myself could be more manageable as I love dogs and cats

 

[Lullaby]

Thats the best thing you can do for yourself. I admire your strength and willingness to share your story. I have only managed to work longest 2 weeks, and quit due to a toxic manager. I have done volunteer and other things (I have volunteered for months to years. Found that easier than working). What kind of work did you do with animals? I wonder if something like that for myself could be more manageable as I love dogs and cats

Thank you! I'm always hoping by being open about what I go through, it'll help someone else.

I worked at a dog daycare. They'd stick you in a room with either small or big dogs for the day, and you basically just supervise them, feed them etc. It was hard work some days, but it was the first time I really enjoyed going to work.

I would definitely see if there's something similar nearby you. So many people have dogs and work, so places like this are pretty common but not many now about them. You don't need any experience either, just a love for animals.

 

[Water-Lily]

Thank you! I'm always hoping by being open about what I go through, it'll help someone else.

I worked at a dog daycare. They'd stick you in a room with either small or big dogs for the day, and you basically just supervise them, feed them etc. It was hard work some days, but it was the first time I really enjoyed going to work.

I would definitely see if there's something similar nearby you. So many people have dogs and work, so places like this are pretty common but not many now about them. You don't need any experience either, just a love for animals.

I will look into that. Dog daycare sounds fun. Something to get me out the house especially away from my home.

 

[Lullaby]

I will look into that. Dog daycare sounds fun. Something to get me out the house especially away from my home.

Let me know if you do! I'm the same way; I'm at home and don't get along with my mom either, so I'm always trying to find ways to get out of the house.

 

[Water-Lily]

Let me know if you do! I'm the same way; I'm at home and don't get along with my mom either, so I'm always trying to find ways to get out of the house.

I get along with my dad sometomes but its toxic. My brother is who I really hate, who he used to be such a sweet boy but turned into a monster like my mom due to the abuse in the home. He's backed off now and we mostly just avoid each other (take some some verbal jabs here and there)

It's nice to know others can relate. How sometimes my friends would tell me to "just leave". And it comes from a good place but when your mental health is draining, and you struggle to maintain work, it can be hard. And not everyone had the financial means right away. I also wouldn't want to be homeless/in a shelter either so everyones circumstances are different. Not everyone has the luxury to just "leave"

 

[noname223]

My parents abused me for over a decade. My mom always beat me up sometimes for no reason. But especially when I did not learn eagerly. Since then performance pressure is triggering me. It makes me manic and sometimes psychotic. I am extremely desperate about the fact that I can't work. I have tried myriads of medication nothing helped me sufficiently. I have to be extremely cautious not to become manic. I am very vulnerable and fragile.

I am a mental wreck. I have so many different conditions. I had tiny success though even I can say that my remianing hope is ridiculous. I will never be able to work a normal job. Especially when I also have to manage the household. I am pretty sure poverty will kill me. I am chroncially suicidal for a long time. I can't cope with poverty. Two therapists gave me up because they thought my situation is hopeless. I have now a third one we had a tiny success but it is all just a naive dream. I know that. But it helps me to make it through the day currently. I will do escapism till I am unable to run away. I am hoping for a miracle. But all the scenarios which I think about sound so ridiculous. I try to say to me you can never predict the future. The smartest man I have ever met told me that.

 

[Water-Lily]

My parents abused me for over a decade. My mom always beat me up sometimes for no reason. But especially when I did not learn eagerly. Since then performance pressure is triggering me. It makes me manic and sometimes psychotic. I am extremely desperate about the fact that I can't work. I have tried myriads of medication nothing helped me sufficiently. I have to be extremely cautious not to become manic. I am very vulnerable and fragile.

I am a mental wreck. I have so many different conditions. I had tiny success though even I can say that my remianing hope is ridiculous. I will never be able to work a normal job. Especially when I also have to manage the household. I am pretty sure poverty will kill me. I am chroncially suicidal for a long time. I can't cope with poverty. Two therapists gave me up because they thought my situation is hopeless. I have now a third one we had a tiny success but it is all just a naive dream. I know that. But it helps me to make it through the day currently. I will do escapism till I am unable to run away. I am hoping for a miracle. But all the scenarios which I think about sound so ridiculous. I try to say to me you can never predict the future. The smartest man I have ever met told me that.

I am glad you were able to find some success with that therapist. Perhaps you could explore more with them

I do agree that we cannot predict the future. As my therapist put it, the future is influenced by your present. So just doing what you can does have an impact even if it's not something you can see.