Discussion Anyone scared to CTB before completing some last goals in life?

[ayaneechan]

What is scaring me most actually is that I could CTB before planned. Thers still something I want to do before leaving, but I sometimes I can barely hold myself. The worst time is when I'm up to sleep, trought are so strong that almost attempt a day. Trying to reason with myself was what keeps me here, my fear of failing and just causing problems again. Last time I made my psychiatrist hands shaking cuz it I CTB he can go to jail, I not know myself why he just not put me in a psych ward.

At least my stalker stopped to try contacting me and thats a half relief, at least I can handle better impulses without that person harassing me.

I need to hold on at least till November, I have just to be sure everything works as planned and I can finally have my way out this life. In the way I planned and accomplishing my last goal here.


Whats ur experience? Do u have a last goal?

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

Nah, I don't see the point of having a goal if I won't stay here long enough to look back at the accomplishment and say "I did it" or even experience it's consequences.
That's like, I don't know, washing dirty laundry that you plan on throwing away right afterwards, why bother?

 

[アホペンギン]

I don't have any last goals in life, I plan to ctb whenever I feel is right.

 

[ayaneechan]

Nah, I don't see the point of having a goal if I won't stay here long enough to look back at the accomplishment and say "I did it" or even experience it's consequences.
That's like, I don't know, washing dirty laundry that you plan on throwing away right afterwards, why bother?

For me it's more something I always wanted to experience, but a one time experience is enough. It's my own goal, my own experience I still want. Something I could not do after CTB. It's literally the only reason who still keeps me here

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

For me it's more something I always wanted to experience, but a one time experience is enough. It's my own goal, my own experience I still want. Something I could not do after CTB. It's literally the only reason who still keeps me here

Of course, I was just talking about myself. Glad that you have something to look forward to, hope that you'll reach and enjoy your goal! Happiness before resting.

 

[XdragonsoulX]

I do have some goals I would like to complete. I want to marry my partner, be able to have at least top surgery, and to lastly make sure my partner is taken care of before I go. I've given myself two years to complete them, but honestly I also feel my time may come sooner than that, I try to hold onto hope for my partners sake, but I know eventually it'll break him

 

[Louise Payne]

What is scaring me most actually is that I could CTB before planned. Thers still something I want to do before leaving, but I sometimes I can barely hold myself. The worst time is when I'm up to sleep, trought are so strong that almost attempt a day. Trying to reason with myself was what keeps me here, my fear of failing and just causing problems again. Last time I made my psychiatrist hands shaking cuz it I CTB he can go to jail, I not know myself why he just not put me in a psych ward.

At least my stalker stopped to try contacting me and thats a half relief, at least I can handle better impulses without that person harassing me.

I need to hold on at least till November, I have just to be sure everything works as planned and I can finally have my way out this life. In the way I planned and accomplishing my last goal here.


Whats ur experience? Do u have a last goal?

No, i do not have this issue. I only have to update my will so that my family is taken care of and I am ready to go.

 

[Alisalyx]

What is scaring me most actually is that I could CTB before planned. Thers still something I want to do before leaving, but I sometimes I can barely hold myself. The worst time is when I'm up to sleep, trought are so strong that almost attempt a day. Trying to reason with myself was what keeps me here, my fear of failing and just causing problems again. Last time I made my psychiatrist hands shaking cuz it I CTB he can go to jail, I not know myself why he just not put me in a psych ward.

At least my stalker stopped to try contacting me and thats a half relief, at least I can handle better impulses without that person harassing me.

I need to hold on at least till November, I have just to be sure everything works as planned and I can finally have my way out this life. In the way I planned and accomplishing my last goal here.


Whats ur experience? Do u have a last goal?

Can you really handle it better? I'm still your friend and I'll always be there to try and help you
I'll never stop caring about you and I'll suffer so much if you ctb
Stop acting like everything is one people's fault or like people will not care about you if you stop talking to them
I'll never stop caring about you and crying because you want to ctb
If you want I'm here to give you support, that's the only thing I wish I could do
That's the thing I always wanted to give you, on top of everything
I've always supported you. I never wanted to make you feel bad, I'm just scared...
You are the person i care most about. Please don't ctb...
The people that left you weren't real friends, it's not anyone's fault. Come back in the telegram group, everybody there wants to support you... we are there for you. Trust me one time please... stop being so stubborn.. stop being mad for something stupid and think for a moment
We are waiting for you there, trust me
I won't bother you there, I just wanna help

 

[Alisalyx]

And by the way I don't care about goals. Nothing makes sense anymore, I just want to stop suffering
It's just that nothing else matters.. anything I do will be useless if I ctb so why even trying
I kinda wanted to take shrooms one day but since I take olanzapine I can't, and i need it to stay calmer
What is your goal?

 

[sserafim]

Nah, I don't have any goals in life. I just want to get out of here tbh

 

[UsagiDrop]

I think my last goal in life would be to ctb. I don't really care about milestones that I may never experience in the first place, it just means I will have to wait longer. Once I'm done fulfilling the purpose I have right now, I will probably want to go immediately. And whatever I get to do in between now and then will just be a plus!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't have any last goals, I leave everything behind as it is as this is not bothering me after death anymore. As long as my plan is to CTB I'm not putting energy into sth that I can't take with me and none of us can take anything with them from this world when we die. Well I'd have goals and stuff I'd like to do but the crazy reality is if I had the means to do those things I'd not CTB.

 

[peace_van]

Maybe one month to set up my personal webpage and put some articles to explain my research paper. This is the gem condensed with my lifelong effort, don't want it submerged.

 

[sserafim]

I don't have any last goals, I leave everything behind as it is as this is not bothering me after death anymore. As long as my plan is to CTB I'm not putting energy into sth that I can't take with me and none of us can take anything with them from this world when we die. Well I'd have goals and stuff I'd like to do but the crazy reality is if I had the means to do those things I'd not CTB.

Yeah same, I'd actually like to go traveling and visit more places before I ctb but the reality is that I have no money so it isn't feasible to do so. Therefore this can't be attained. And these are more wants/desires rather than goals. I also wanted to go eat more good food (especially a kbbq place I really wanted to try), but it isn't a priority. I think I'll ctb before I accomplish these things.

I have no life goals tho. I don't have career goals or anything, I don't have a dream career. I don't want to have a partner, get married, or have a family or house. I don't want to live past 25. This is my goal.