Discussion Anyone know what they want their last days to look like before they ctb

[ClownMe]

Have any of you planned, or plan on mapping out what your last few days will look like? Im not going to ctb for at least a few years yet but im starting to think about how i want to spend my final days, the things i wanna do and what my last meal will be, etc etc.

Im thinking that im going to stay in a nice little hotel for about a week (which is where i will ultimately ctb once i come to the end of my stay there), this means that nobody that I know will find my body and I will have privacy and time to reflect. I was thinking that I would plan the hotel stay so that my stay culminated on New Year's Day, im an Australian and ive always loved watching the Sydney NYE fireworks on the TV, I guess it would also make my suicide feel less sad and more of a celebratory thing in a way, which is what I want it to be, death shouldnt be a sad thing in my opinion, its the moment that sets you free. For my last meal Im pretty sure i will go with hotcakes, a few hash browns and a hot chocolate from McDonald's (a favourite of mine) and some of the things I want to do days before my death are having sex with an escort/prostitute (assuming im still a virgin) and trying alcohol, which im too scared to do because my parents are both alcoholics, im trying to think of some others i could do. I really wanna do things that i wouldnt normally do in my last days on earth and experience aspects of life that i havent experienced before.

What about you guys?

 

[suicide4me]

Unfortunately, I live with others and have a routine that can't be broken or it would cause people to suspect me. So I am going to have to live on pretending and hiding that everything is normal and the same right up to the day I ctb, which really sucks. But I can't risk anyone finding out or suspecting me as I don't want this foiled. I hope your last days are everything you want them to be!

 

[ClownMe]

Unfortunately, I live with others and have a routine that can't be broken or it would cause people to suspect me. So I am going to have to live on pretending and hiding that everything is normal and the same right up to the day I ctb, which really sucks. But I can't risk anyone finding out or suspecting me as I don't want this foiled. I hope your last days are everything you want them to be!

Im sorry to hear that. I dont know if im lucky or unlucky, i have no close friends and my parents, siblings and relatives are all narcassists and wouldnt really find my behaviour weird. Ironically, if i were to commit suicide today the only person who would care would be my 13 year old jack russell (which is why i wont ctb until he passes away).

Out of curiosity (if you dont mind me asking), if your routine could be broken, what would you do in your final days?

 

[RedHarlequin]

Let my partner and my mom know I love them and didn't mean to hurt them. I have prepared the notes and everything already, so nothing else really.

 

[Celerity]

Oh, it's gonna be shit while I sell off all my possessions.

 

[motel rooms]

I wanna fuck one of those gay-4-pay guys, & I want him to really be str8. I'll know if he is because str8 guys suck at blowjobs. I'm just kidding, of course. I really want a big, hairy, athletic guy to kiss & hold me, & then squeal like a happy gay pig as I ride him into the sunset

 

[WornOutLife]

Last year, when I was sure I was gonna ctb but failed, I spent my "last" days visiting my family, dating some girls, organizing my stuff, writing my suicide notes and recording goodbye videos, playing my classic fav games, rewatching my fav anime and drinking lots of booze while being happy, waiting for death with open arms.

Next time I try to ctb, I want to do the same!

 

[Aeathelina]

My last days... if possible than I would rather in a apartment with just me, internet and some wine.
Just spend those days crying and writing it all out without fear and possibly being found then take whatever lethal substances needed to kill myself with.

 

[loopylou]

Well my last few days have been nothing but stressful. Arguments name calling as petty as fuck shit is exactly why I'm going to ctb. Today was a friends 30th birthday who died a few years ago :( meh.

 

[Jiroscope]

In the days leading up to it, probably buy a escort, then get my belongings in order. Other than those, just the normal routine. Maybe I'll treat myself to some fancy food too.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wouldn't do anything really. I would just make sure I was prepared mentally and get rid of some of my stuff. I would just be relieved that it is coming to an end and kind of make peace with myself in a way. I would probably listen to some music too.