Anyone I can talk to about being a burden?

[Water-Lily]

I don't want to ruin the mood anymore. I can't stay happy and I don't want to ruin things so....could I just talk to someone?

 

[Tackingintothewind]

Sure what's up?

 

[Water-Lily]

Sure what's up?

I feel I always let the mood down when people are happy

 

[Tackingintothewind]

Me too. Although I'm quite good at acting
Did you feel like you did this today?

 

[Water-Lily]

Me too. Although I'm quite good at acting
Did you feel like you did this today?

I wa chatting with some peeps and everyone was happy and I felt kinda happy too but happiness threatens my CTB so I reject it

 

[Tackingintothewind]

Do you want to ctb because of depression or something else?

 

[Water-Lily]

Do you want to ctb because of depression or something else?

to escape child abuse trauma

 

[Tackingintothewind]

That's terrible. I remember your posts now. Do you think being able to leave home will help you?

I was mildly abused as a child and I was able to recover from it when I left home.

 

[Water-Lily]

That's terrible. I remember your posts now. Do you think being able to leave home will help you?

I was mildly abused as a child and I was able to recover from it when I left home.

Money. I have to get a job to get money to. I may have a position held for me in the summer and became a dog walker
As far as im conscnered I wont escape in time and I will just give into death. it will give me peace

 

[Tackingintothewind]

See if you can get a live in job. There are many live in carer positions.
There are many hotels too. Which country are you from? There may be a support system to help you get out now.

 

[Water-Lily]

See if you can get a live in job. There are many live in carer positions.
There are many hotels too. Which country are you from? There may be a support system to help you get out now.

maybe that is what I need. I live in the US

 

[Tackingintothewind]

I'm afraid I don't know much about the us in terms of support system, but hotel and carer jobs should still have live in options.

 

[Water-Lily]

I'm afraid I don't know much about the us in terms of support system, but hotel and carer jobs should still have live in options.

yeah. thank you. I think I might just run away from everyone

 

[Tackingintothewind]

Careerjet

www.careerjet.com

Some jobs require qualifications but not all.
It's what I did I fled the country but I was an eu citizen so easier to do.

 

[Symbiote]

There's a shortage of people working in the cruise industry because they don't want to be stuck at sea again if another Covid event happens again. But you get to live on a cruise ship, travel around the world, have your own room, people get lonely at sea and start shagging, and I thought about doing this long time ago and then just YEET myself overboard when I got tired of it all.

 

[Tackingintothewind]

That's also a great idea. But wouldn't throw myself overboard unless it was Alaska, Scandinavia or Antarctica https://www.indeed.com/m/jobs?q=Live-in+Jobs
Another link for live in jobs

 

[Symbiote]

That's also a great idea. But wouldn't throw myself overboard unless it was Alaska, Scandinavia or Antarctica https://www.indeed.com/m/jobs?q=Live-in+Jobs
Another link for live in jobs

Actually, the workers that got stuck on board the ships, they hung themselves in their cabins. Only passengers tend to YEET themselves overboard in the middle of the night.

 

[Tackingintothewind]

Makes sense. Staff aren't allowed on deck in free time

 

[Water-Lily]

thanks for the resources. I'll look into it
though it might be better just to kill myself at this point cause im a burden

 

[Tackingintothewind]

You're not a burden to your friends. They wouldn't meet up with you if they didnt want to

 

[Water-Lily]

You're not a burden to your friends. They wouldn't meet up with you if they didnt want to

no online friends

 

[Tackingintothewind]

Well as Walter would say we are a global family, you are not a burden to us.

 

[Water-Lily]

Well as Walter would say we are a global family, you are not a burden to us.

I was an idiot for refusing to be cherry and happy

 

[Tackingintothewind]

You're not an idiot. It can be difficult being happy after suffering as you have. Part of it is because of your desire to ctb, but a part of it will be fear of it being cruelly snatched away. Never feel like an idiot for your feelings

 

[Water-Lily]

You're not an idiot. It can be difficult being happy after suffering as you have. Part of it is because of your desire to ctb, but a part of it will be fear of it being cruelly snatched away. Never feel like an idiot for your feelings

yeah..

 

[Divineghost]

I feel like a huge burden too :(

 

[Tackingintothewind]

I've found out that if you call 211 they will let you know the resources of getting out of your home available to you in your local area

 

[avoid_slow_death]

@SoloPlayer

I truly understand how you feel man. Was abused pretty badly by my Dad throughout my childhood and even into my adult years. One time, was almost killed by him fir being a smart ass to him when he kept just going at me over and over. He almost choked me to death. Would have too if my mom did not stop him.

So, you're not alone at all. I am sure there are many here with similar stories and a need to talk. Not telling you which direction to go, that is not my place,but I am trying to tell you that maybe, just maybe, you should try and see if you can sort your problems out with others help. Worth a try, no?

 

[Water-Lily]

@SoloPlayer

I truly understand how you feel man. Was abused pretty badly by my Dad throughout my childhood and even into my adult years. One time, was almost killed by him fir being a smart ass to him when he kept just going at me over and over. He almost choked me to death. Would have too if my mom did not stop him.

So, you're not alone at all. I am sure there are many here with similar stories and a need to talk. Not telling you which direction to go, that is not my place,but I am trying to tell you that maybe, just maybe, you should try and see if you can sort your problems out with others help. Worth a try, no?

ive hurt people and been hurt too many times to try. I have to kill myself today

 

[avoid_slow_death]

ive hurt people and been hurt too many times to try. I have to kill myself today

We have all hurt people, trust me. It's bound to happen when you interact with other people. That aside, take a breath. Calm your head down and talk to us. If you're collected and calm you can communicate better.