everyone is hurting me and I am tired of it
I'm sorry you're feeling like that right now. If you ever need to talk there's lots of people here. I've not had an issue with anyone so far and everyone's been really supportive in conversations, offering different viewpoints and hearing each other out. I hope nothing bad happens to you and that you can work things out.
No need to apologize for anything. You just spoke your mind. Are you feeling better at all?
I think a little
I deleted almost all of my social media earlier in 2020 and uninstalled any social apps on my phone so I'd stop being on it so much. Taking a break from being online all the time has been something I didn't know I needed so much. Although it's not great, my life has been significantly less stressful and carefree. I also tried to avoid headlines back in 2020 because of how depressed I would get with how many terrible things kept happening. So I took a break from news channels and feeds online.
During the month or so before Covid went mainstream, on the Reddit sub for Covid (2.3m currently). I joined at around 1-200k because I wanted to know what exactly people were saying. And I was spending waaaaay to much time reading posts and predictions. From the initial case, 2 weeks came and passed and cases skyrocketed. I was watching the cases rise and death counts and hoping that something would be done. Seeing all the death and cases around the world + the inaction by various governments was killing me. I just couldn't believe all the stories. People being evicted with no money, people being selfish and hoarding. Others scalping supplies. Disasters really seem to bring out the worst in people. And as that all happened I kept spam checking charts and info sources. I think I had 4-5 maps open at one time watching the case numbers go up. I was pretty numb by the time we were over 200k. And you figure adding the current rates with the exponential growth rate of the virus and I was just done. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life in 2020. I didn't do anything for a week, I let it kill me and I realized that I needed to stay away from Reddit any any charts or news or graphs for the rest of the year. And obviously we all know what followed in the rest of the months with all the other stuff happening. At one point in the year I also had a brief experience with the subs for r/depression and r/s-watch but there's unfortunately many hostile people there. Not towards me specifically, but lots of people that reply to others with bs non answers or pro life sht. Like to your post that you made here, a response that I would expect would be: "just change your attitude and it'll get better", or "ok well why if you're not gonna include more info why are you even posting then, kinda being over-dramatic don't you think?". There are helpful people certainly but I saw people be really shtty to eachother. I won't even get into mods on Reddit. Don't get me wrong, people and things on Reddit can be really helpful, but sometimes it's better to just stay away from everything and everyone for a bit. Taking a break from Reddit for half a year really improved my mental health.
