Anyone here just unlucky/life's bitch?

[Water-Lily]

I could just never seem to catch a fucking break

From child abuse by my mom and no pone protecting or belonging me cause my mom put on the perfect face, to be being abuse din every school year even in fucking college where I was sexually assaulted. And its like...I wish I lived in Belgium or Germany or somewhere where assisted suicide was available. Sometimes life is just....hard. especially when people can't relate

I live in the US and assisted suicide isnt available for mental health. Having an option to escape death I think would help so many people who are suffering. the only reason why I am here is because suicide is, to put bluntly, scary. I don't want to die. But I don't want to live either. If I attempt suicide and fail then I will live with long lasting scares on top of my own shit. If I succeed then that's it. but what is death like? What happens after death? Is there a heaven or hell? is there darkness? All we know is that when someone dies there is no coming back.

 

[sadlystillgoing3]

Life is unfair and you do not deserve what has happened to you. Sometimes I feel like I'm the most unlucky person alive, but then I see that so many other people are suffering, as well. You are not alone in these feelings. I also wish I didn't live in the USA. Our system is fucked up. & it makes me infuriated that getting professional help at all is a privilege and is incredibly expensive. Not to mention that it's pretty impossible to find time to go to therapy/appointments when you have to work to survive.

Suicide is terrifying for me. I don't want to live, but I do actually want to die...just can't get myself to do it. Since you say you don't want to die and are in that bit of "middle-ground," I would really encourage you to hold on. Hold on for dear life. If there is anything that brings you the slightest bit of joy, chase it with everything you've got. If you like animals, try to find ways to be around them as much as possible. Reading? Start series that have a ton of books in them and read them all. Immerse yourself in universe. If you are able to, volunteering can feel really fulfilling. If you aren't able to, I find a bit of fulfillment from commenting on people's reddit posts or youtube videos. Just small things.

 

[Water-Lily]

Life is unfair and you do not deserve what has happened to you. Sometimes I feel like I'm the most unlucky person alive, but then I see that so many other people are suffering, as well. You are not alone in these feelings. I also wish I didn't live in the USA. Our system is fucked up. & it makes me infuriated that getting professional help at all is a privilege and is incredibly expensive. Not to mention that it's pretty impossible to find time to go to therapy/appointments when you have to work to survive.

Suicide is terrifying for me. I don't want to live, but I do actually want to die...just can't get myself to do it. Since you say you don't want to die and are in that bit of "middle-ground," I would really encourage you to hold on. Hold on for dear life. If there is anything that brings you the slightest bit of joy, chase it with everything you've got. If you like animals, try to find ways to be around them as much as possible. Reading? Start series that have a ton of books in them and read them all. Immerse yourself in universe. If you are able to, volunteering can feel really fulfilling. If you aren't able to, I find a bit of fulfillment from commenting on people's reddit posts or youtube videos. Just small things.

I'm not disagreeing, but what is the point of trying to live if one is in a middle ground? If I live I will keep feeling inferior because I categorize myself as "a life experience not many can relate to"

 

[rabbithole]

That's so unfair. I am so sorry.

I've also been unlucky. Got a botched lumbar puncture in the ER. left with no sexual function (because I have no sensation at all), incontinence and bad nerve pain. A disaster. I also wish assisted suicide was legal and accepted.

That's so unfair. I am so sorry.

I've also been unlucky. Got a botched lumbar puncture in the ER. left with no sexual function (because I have no sensation at all), incontinence and bad nerve pain. A disaster. I also wish assisted suicide was legal and accepted.

Also I have nothing I can really hang on to anymore. I'm just done. I'm uselessly stupid and horribly depressed and despondent. I am glad you are still trying though. There is hope for recovery for you. Have you tried many interventions to feel better?

 

[Water-Lily]

That's so unfair. I am so sorry.

I've also been unlucky. Got a botched lumbar puncture in the ER. left with no sexual function (because I have no sensation at all), incontinence and bad nerve pain. A disaster. I also wish assisted suicide was legal and accepted.

Also I have nothing I can really hang on to anymore. I'm just done. I'm uselessly stupid and horribly depressed and despondent. I am glad you are still trying though. There is hope for recovery for you. Have you tried many interventions to feel better?

Therapy and meds. My therapist is actually into pro choice and she respects that I want to die via assisted suicide if we ever come to that

 

[DrWh033]

People don't really know what is bad luck untill they meet someone worse than them.

 

[Water-Lily]

People don't really know what is bad luck untill they meet someone worse than them.

True, though I don't know of anyone having had it worse than my experince. I don't mean to sound selfish by saying this however. Just a lot right now and is looking at my apartment window contemplating whether or not to jump

 

[rabbithole]

True, though I don't know of anyone having had it worse than my experince. I don't mean to sound selfish by saying this however. Just a lot right now and is looking at my apartment window contemplating whether or not to jump

People have had far worse lives I am sure. Jason Becker for instance who was super young when he was diagnosed with ALS. He can only move his eyes now. Christopher Reeves and all other people who are quadriplegic and paraplegic.

I am sorry you're suffering so badly though. Everything is relative. To me I think nothing is worse than my condition (except ALS) the pain has been compared to end stage bone cancer without the release of death. I can also become paralyzed. I already lost precious neurological functions. But of course people have it worse than me. I just find my own situation unbearable, same as you.

 

[Josef2000]

There will always be someone who has it worse.

Life can be quite cruel, just when you think things couldn't get worse and they usually do. There is no mercy shown really. Assisted suicide should be a thing in many countries but nobody is comfortable talking about it and many See it as barbaric whereas you and I can agree that it's a dignified way to end suffering.

Nobody knows what being dead is like except the people that are dead. I do agree that there is no coming back

 

[Water-Lily]

People have had far worse lives I am sure. Jason Becker for instance who was super young when he was diagnosed with ALS. He can only move his eyes now. Christopher Reeves and all other people who are quadriplegic and paraplegic.

I am sorry you're suffering so badly though. Everything is relative. To me I think nothing is worse than my condition (except ALS) the pain has been compared to end stage bone cancer without the release of death. I can also become paralyzed. I already lost precious neurological functions. But of course people have it worse than me. I just find my own situation unbearable, same as you.

Yeah. I just tried putting my hand around my neck and squeezing to see what hanging would be like. I got scared so I stopped doing it

There will always be someone who has it worse.

Life can be quite cruel, just when you think things couldn't get worse and they usually do. There is no mercy shown really. Assisted suicide should be a thing in many countries but nobody is comfortable talking about it and many See it as barbaric whereas you and I can agree that it's a dignified way to end suffering.

Nobody knows what being dead is like except the people that are dead. I do agree that there is no coming back

yeah that part kinda sucks. I sometomes wish I could close my eyes and open up in the home of a healthy family and start over from scratch

 

[greebo6]

Unlucky. Very. Always.