dolphin

dolphin

aquatic thing
Feb 7, 2019
213
I'm just wondering if anyone else here is committing suicide because of brain injury/cognitive damage. I do not want to die but I have no quality of life because of my cognitive problems. If anyone in a similar position would like to chat, feel free to message me.
 
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Egddios

Egddios

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
395
I broke my neck in 2016 which resulted in a TBI (added bonus, ha). I went through speech therapy as I have cognitive difficulties from the injuries ie difficulty speaking or communicating myself clearly in conversation. I forget things fairly quickly and have to write myself notes to remind myself very basic things. At times I wonder what it would be like to give up the last few freedoms I have and consider assisted living or something like that but ultimately, I'd rather choose to end my life. I'm 35, I have no children, am divorced, and as far as the TBI/brain injury goes, despite trying to look on "the bright side", realistically speaking I don't see much chance of a drastic improvement.

I should note, prior to the injuries, I was diagnosed with MDD, PTSD and Panic Disorder. The accident and injuries exacerbate these conditions. No living being should have to suffer merely to appease those who are against rational suicide.
 
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dolphin

dolphin

aquatic thing
Feb 7, 2019
213
I broke my neck in 2016 which resulted in a TBI (added bonus, ha). I went through speech therapy as I have cognitive difficulties from the injuries ie difficulty speaking or communicating myself clearly in conversation. I forget things fairly quickly and have to write myself notes to remind myself very basic things. At times I wonder what it would be like to give up the last few freedoms I have and consider assisted living or something like that but ultimately, I'd rather choose to end my life. I'm 35, I have no children, am divorced, and as far as the TBI/brain injury goes, despite trying to look on "the bright side", realistically speaking I don't see much chance of a drastic improvement.

I should note, prior to the injuries, I was diagnosed with MDD, PTSD and Panic Disorder. The accident and injuries exacerbate these conditions. No living being should have to suffer merely to appease those who are against rational suicide.
I'm sorry to hear that. I deal with similar issues.
I too had previous psychiatric diagnoses so to add brain damage to that has made my life very difficult to tolerate.
 
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Pentobartbital

Pentobartbital

Crumbling
Feb 25, 2019
183
This is part of the reason why I want to kill myself. My cognitive decline is due to a unique form of iatrogenesis, through psychiatric drugs.

I tried reading a summary for Jack Vance's Dying Earth series on Wikipedia yesterday...I used to be a voracious reader and competent writer, but I had to research and review the definitions of so many words I thought I knew. It's embarrassing and dreadful to have one's faculties taken from oneself.

Always wanted to be a scholar, but am now a hopeless dunce. : (
 
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dreznik87

dreznik87

I just want to sleep
Dec 21, 2018
13
Yes, frontal lobe syndrome from a car accident when I was in my late teens. I'm in my 30s now, it has fucked my life up. Too tired to post at the moment sorry but probably something in my post history about it not sure, feel free to message me.
 
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Cubashii

Cubashii

One second in Valhalla Is all I really would want.
Oct 22, 2018
144
Yeah i have a TBI from hanging myself and they found me just before i died. I have hallucinations: audio and visual from it.
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
Yes slightly, from years of psychotropic drugs and my last attempt. Having depersonalization/derealization has made it all the more unbearable. I can't function like this and I know I have no future.
 
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K

KN95

Member
Apr 13, 2019
63
Yes slightly, from years of psychotropic drugs and my last attempt. Having depersonalization/derealization has made it all the more unbearable. I can't function like this and I know I have no future.
What do you do when the feelings of unreality overwhelm you? It's becoming a real issue for me. I could see myself eventually accepting one of the delusional stories I often think about what reality is when nothing feels real.
 
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Jessica-

Jessica-

Experienced
Mar 26, 2019
263
I do and it's the main reason for my CTB. Years of psychiatric drugs have done severe damage to my brain. I am only in my late 20s and have early onset dementia. I had a good life before but have lost my job, most of my friends and quickly running out of money. My short term memory is shot and struggle with simple maths problem when I have a masters in pure maths.
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
What do you do when the feelings of unreality overwhelm you? It's becoming a real issue for me. I could see myself eventually accepting one of the delusional stories I often think about what reality is when nothing feels real.

I isolate myself in my home. I can't do anything else. Everything overwhelms me. Most days I can't even get out of bed. I feel like I'm in some LSD nightmare and that I'm stuck in auto-pilot. Sorry that you're going through this hell. For me, it's the worse thing I've ever experienced.
 
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S

spanishguy22

Enlightened
Apr 9, 2019
1,003
Yes slightly, from years of psychotropic drugs and my last attempt. Having depersonalization/derealization has made it all the more unbearable. I can't function like this and I know I have no future.
I isolate myself in my home. I can't do anything else. Everything overwhelms me. Most days I can't even get out of bed. I feel like I'm in some LSD nightmare and that I'm stuck in auto-pilot. Sorry that you're going through this hell. For me, it's the worse thing I've ever experienced.
Is there any place you can talk to other depressed people? I think there's an institution in my town where mentally ill people hang out of similar age. Not a psych ward. Do activities and stuff. Depressing as fuck but better than bed ridden. It'll get your mind off dpdr and improve it
 
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Jenna

Jenna

Experienced
Nov 21, 2018
234
I have an iatrogenic illness from taking pharmaceuticals taken as prescribed. Was not warned of side effects. That's why I am here.
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
Is there any place you can talk to other depressed people? I think there's an institution in my town where mentally ill people hang out of similar age. Not a psych ward. Do activities and stuff. Depressing as fuck but better than bed ridden. It'll get your mind off dpdr and improve it

There are talk therapy groups, but most are in a hospital setting and you need to be seeing a psychiatrist as an outpatient. I stopped seeing any therapists/psychiatrists about 3 months ago. I'm asocial and have difficulty getting along with other people. I've never been able to find people I can relate to that are my age.
 
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K

KN95

Member
Apr 13, 2019
63
I isolate myself in my home. I can't do anything else. Everything overwhelms me. Most days I can't even get out of bed. I feel like I'm in some LSD nightmare and that I'm stuck in auto-pilot. Sorry that you're going through this hell. For me, it's the worse thing I've ever experienced.

Me too, though derealisation is probably secondary the to social anxiety and the fear of leaving the house I experience. Yep, I completely relate to the feeling of being in a constant psychedelic trip. Sorry for what you're dealing with. It also doesn't help that many psychiatrists/psychotherapists know little about dpdr. Hell is a perfect description. It's f** unbearable!
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
Me too, though derealisation is probably secondary the to social anxiety and the fear of leaving the house I experience. Yep, I completely relate to the feeling of being in a constant psychedelic trip. Sorry for what you're dealing with. It also doesn't help that many psychiatrists/psychotherapists know little about dpdr. Hell is a perfect description. It's f** unbearable!

Thanks. I agree about the lack of understanding from psychiatrists. They didn't know what to do and just used to prescribe benzos to help with anxiety, but it didn't help and I just got dependent on them. I've been off all meds since my last suicide attempt, six months ago. They just made everything worse. A lot of doctors seem to think that it's caused by too much cortisol (stress hormone), which makes sense for me. I've had severe anxiety my entire life. I've been going to a naturopath for about 9 months. No change yet, but I'm still trying things.
 
K

KN95

Member
Apr 13, 2019
63
Thanks. I agree about the lack of understanding from psychiatrists. They didn't know what to do and just used to prescribe benzos to help with anxiety, but it didn't help and I just got dependent on them. I've been off all meds since my last suicide attempt, six months ago. They just made everything worse. A lot of doctors seem to think that it's caused by too much cortisol (stress hormone), which makes sense for me. I've had severe anxiety my entire life. I've been going to a naturopath for about 9 months. No change yet, but I'm still trying things.
Thanks. I agree about the lack of understanding from psychiatrists. They didn't know what to do and just used to prescribe benzos to help with anxiety, but it didn't help and I just got dependent on them. I've been off all meds since my last suicide attempt, six months ago. They just made everything worse. A lot of doctors seem to think that it's caused by too much cortisol (stress hormone), which makes sense for me. I've had severe anxiety my entire life. I've been going to a naturopath for about 9 months. No change yet, but I'm still trying things.
I hope it gets better for you. Nobody should have to live like this.

Have you spoken to a lot of people who have it on other forums? To see what treatments they've had or to find out how they manage. Probably a silly question to ask as I imagine you already have.

What is naturopathy?
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
I hope it gets better for you. Nobody should have to live like this.

Have you spoken to a lot of people who have it on other forums? To see what treatments they've had or to find out how they manage. Probably a silly question to ask as I imagine you already have.

What is naturopathy?

I hope it gets better for you as well. I haven't spoken to anybody just mainly lurked on the forums. For a lot of people they just needed time if it was caused by a traumatic incident in their life. For others it was caused by some sort of physical manifestation like a vitamin/mineral deficiency so they had comprehensive blood work done and tried supplementing. Others used CBD oil since it lacked the THC that could cause psychosis. Some had a hormone imbalance and tried bioidentical hormones (since they're naturally derived and won't cause the side effects of the standard chemical ones).

Naturopathy is an alternative medicine that relies on "natural" practices instead of chemicals, like supplementing, acupuncture, massage therapy, nutrition, etc.
 
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letmeseethedeath

letmeseethedeath

catching the bus
Aug 4, 2018
465
I isolate myself in my home. I can't do anything else. Everything overwhelms me. Most days I can't even get out of bed. I feel like I'm in some LSD nightmare and that I'm stuck in auto-pilot. Sorry that you're going through this hell. For me, it's the worse thing I've ever experienced.
i feel you, same with me. my life doesn't have a meaning
 
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H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,027
Yes slightly, from years of psychotropic drugs and my last attempt. Having depersonalization/derealization has made it all the more unbearable. I can't function like this and I know I have no future.
Ur not alone
 
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Nem

Nem

Drs suck mega ass!
Sep 3, 2018
1,489
Holy crap!!! Yes, from taking psychiatric meds when I should've steered clear from them! It has made everything worse, depression especially. I could write more but everyone one here have described it perfectly. This is the main reason I want to ctb!
Peace hugs!!
 
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Yelkovan

Yelkovan

Member
Apr 21, 2019
12
I started psychiatric drugs at age 12 for mild depression after a friend moved and feel like my brain has been completely altered since. I'm not the same person even though I've been off all meds for a year. I can hardly think, read, or react in the same ways I could prior to psychiatric drugs. My cognitive decline is a large factor in why I plan to commit suicide, but I wouldn't say it's the only reason.
 
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H

HelpPlease

Psych ward
Sep 9, 2018
188
Yes very sick extreme brain damage!!!! It hurts also!!! Can't function can't think
 
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