anyone here got bullied as a child/teenager?

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

people never really took my things away or put me in the locker like you see it in american highschool movies....there were no textbook bullies in my life...but i surely got disrespected and laughed at a lot and i would call this bullying aswell. it didnt really helped that i was quite lanky in school until 17 and a pussy which means i was feared of physical confronation. the fact that i had a loud mouth and was kind of a classclown didnt help either with being respected.


besides mean comments often came from so called "friends" who i generally get a long well with (or i at least i thought this way back then) so i was never really prepared and didnt know what to say. it actually took me a while to even admit to myself that i got bullied because this is a very hurtful process - noone wants to be the victim so you rather to choose laugh along instead of only getting laughed at.

for example there was this guy who looked like 18 with 14, was the star of the football (the real football not this gay shit where they wear tight pants and use the game as an execuse to each others butts and body) team and the local female hearth throb...he protected me once when other people threatened to beat me up, invited me to his birthday, tried to set me up with girls, gave me "styling tipps" and we also went to a vacation together...however he often made degrading comments about me in public (jokes on my expense), undermined my selfesteem constantly and invented a retarded name for me which eventually and unfortunately got my nickname at the school.



people may say it wasnt dramatic and the guy surely has forgotten about it but until this day i cant stop thinking about it - the worst is that i never really tried to defend myself because i was to scared.



i recently saw this youtube and this comment (even probably made up) under it really hits the nail on the head..

My dad figured out I had no friends and was getting bullied pretty quickly, he came home from work early and took me out for a cheeseburger and a milkshake one day after school. He told me that I had a very important decision to make that would effect the rest of my life and whether I was going to be happy and feel safe or be miserable and terrified forever. "Physical pain only hurts for a few minutes, worst case a couple of weeks but even then it gets better each day, but mental pain, humiliation, that lasts forever and it only gets worse. Whoever is bullying you, you go right up to them tomorrow and punch them in the nose as hard as you possibly can, you may win, you may lose but you'll win either way because you fought back. If you lose, and he decides to bully you again or make fun of you, walk right up and punch him in the nose as hard as you can. You may win, you may lose, but he and all those other little faggots have now learned that anytime they mess with you, pain is coming, and even if they are stronger, no one wants to get punched in the face, they want a weak target, and they'll never bully you again when they know you'll never stop coming after them." That was the last day I was ever bullied and I did lose the fight, but it was close and I really fucked him up bad by throwing that first punch he wasn't expecting and I got some really good shots in after. Other kids thought it was awesome and I made friends. The best thing you can do for your kid is to teach them that physical pain is only temporary, regret and fear and forever, a punch in the face stops hurting in a few minutes, the pain of being humiliated in front of everyone and doing nothing you'll take to your grave.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

I'm actually glad they called me offensive words. It made me eventually develop social anxiety and realize most humans are dumb monkeys and the world is shit.

i think this is a terrible and bitter attitude. you are only harming yourself by denying that socialising is a deep human need like drinking, food and sex.

As far as I know, all the guys who humiliated me continued being bullies after I got split from them in 5th grade and they eventually failed school.

yes i dont doubt this is the case. but i dont think this is the norm. even though i know the meme where the say all the bullies will end up as truck drivers.

the guy in my example became a military officer. another guy i was friend with and who bullied another guy really terrible (i didnt participate) in really psychological fucked up way is now is studying medicine and is about to finish.

and do you guys know this actor from madman? this guy was apparently in a frat and did some nasty stuff other people. just google jon hamm + bullying

i also found this

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...dates-victims-grow-new-research-suggests.html

daily mail i know but they refer to a actuall study..

 

[MsM3talGamer]

Yes, I was bullied both at home by my family and at school by schoolmates and a teacher. It's a major reason for my depression among others. I had a male teacher who'd slap me and then I'd go home to get beaten up by my psycho dad. Totally beyond disgusting for grown men to treat a child like that.

 

[wanttodie]

yes i was

 

[creationisdeath]

Yes

And when I finally tried to defend myself at almost 18 I was labelled the psycho.

Bullying/violence/domination has a weird role in society. If you do it "the right way" you become a CEO/star/whatever. But fighting back is not allowed. Being the aggressor is, and even highly valued.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

found the stuff about jon hamm:

Hamm's involvement in the hazing was so severe that it caused the University of Texas's Sigma Nu chapter to shut down completely. The story resurfaced in 2015, just before the final season of Mad Men, the show that piloted Hamm to fame. From the AP in 2015:

According to the lawsuit, Hamm became "mad, I mean really mad" after the 20-year-old Sigma Nu pledge failed to recite things he was supposed to memorize about Hamm and other fraternity members. For Hamm, his list included "Young Bobby," ″MC Hammer" and "UT Football Punching Bag."

The pledge, Mark Allen Sanders, said Hamm went on to set his jeans on fire, shove his face in dirt and strike him with a paddle.

"He rears back and hits me left-handed, and he hit me right over my right kidney, I mean square over it," Sanders said in the lawsuit. "Good solid hit and that, that stood me right up."

In addition to these abuses, People also reported that Sanders, the pledge in question, was led around the frat house "with the claw of a hammer beneath his genitals." The lawsuit was filed in 1991, which happens to be the same year Hamm dropped out of college and moved back home to Missouri, following the death of his father. Hamm and his fellow fraternity brothers were charged with hazing in 1993 and eventually received probation.

From the Esquire profile, written by Maxmilian Potter :

When I bring up the incident, which was reported in Texas newspapers at the time and resurfaced in 2015, first in the tabloids and then in The Washington Post, Hamm bristles. He tells me, "I wouldn't say it's accurate. Everything about that is sensationalized. I was accused of these things I don't... It's so hard to get into it. I don't want to give it any more breath. It was a bummer of a thing that happened. I was essentially acquitted. I wasn't convicted of anything. I was caught up in a big situation, a stupid kid in a stupid situation, and it's a fucking bummer. I moved on from it."


https://jezebel.com/jon-hamm-on-the-violent-hazing-that-shuttered-his-frate-1824997086

must be a weird feeling for this guy to see jon hamm on tv/cinema on the regular

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Back then I wish I could follow my own advice. My own advice, unsurprisingly, was similar to the OP's post of punching that bully back.
My thoughts turned a bit more violent, though, since being an ostracized immigrant is a bit different than being "classically" bullied.
I kept telling myself to take a chair and just cave a motherfucker's skull in. Never followed my own word, though. Too scary. Ended up in a position where the bully tried to get me to suck his dick, but thankfully there was a teacher nearby, so all I had to do was buy time by pretending to be extra stupid.
It's something difficult to let go of, though - that image of being on the knees, shaking, and unbuckling his belt slowly. I remember pondering biting his dick and running for dear life back then.

 

[AndyCurious]

Yes, I was bullied both at home and at school. A major reason for my depression methinks among others. I even had a male teacher who'd slap me and then I'd go home to get beaten up by my psycho dad. Totally beyond disgusting for grown men to treat a child like that.

I'm so sorry to hear that.. I hate bullies...

 

[MsM3talGamer]

I'm so sorry to hear that.. I hate bullies...

Thanks. Me too.

 

[AndyCurious]

Thanks. Me too.

You're very welcome..

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

Yes

And when I finally tried to defend myself at almost 18 I was labelled the psycho.

Bullying/violence/domination has a weird role in society. If you do it "the right way" you become a CEO/star/whatever. But fighting back is not allowed. Being the aggressor is, and even highly valued.

the most fucked up part is that bullies forget about bullying the next day (or dont even perceive it as bullying) while the victims often get affected in different, long lasting ways

eg

- social avoidant behavior, no self esteem

or

- bitter, misanthropic, overreacting to actually harmless situations

 

[Midnight]

Yes .. at school and things did get physical from time to time. For a few years i was THE target in my class.. i'll never forget the only time i told a teacher .. her answer "pretend they aren't there". Never said a word to anyone in charge ever again. Stuff from nearly 20 years ago still haunts me (even today in my bathtub these thoughts suddenly popped up) i hate my brain.

And even still this scarred me for life it's not nearly as bad as some people experienced (sexually abused/raped and all those things .. can't imagine how horrible that must be)

 

[Pegasus]

Bullies suck but luckily my big brother stopped them.

 

[Xaphous]

Yeah a lot for being quiet and I developed a sort of selective mutism during that time. I won't go into huge detail but what angers me the most about it is the fact that the teachers often joined in with the verbal abuse, in front of the whole class even. What scumbag a-holes some of the teachers were. What also annoys me is how people seem to think you didn't suffer any abuse at all because you weren't sexually abused. People disregard physical and mental abuse like it's nothing you just get over it right. Well no you don't.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

Back then I wish I could follow my own advice. My own advice, unsurprisingly, was similar to the OP's post of punching that bully back.
My thoughts turned a bit more violent, though, since being an ostracized immigrant is a bit different than being "classically" bullied.
I kept telling myself to take a chair and just cave a motherfucker's skull in. Never followed my own word, though. Too scary. Ended up in a position where the bully tried to get me to suck his dick, but thankfully there was a teacher nearby, so all I had to do was buy time by pretending to be extra stupid.
It's something difficult to let go of, though - that image of being on the knees, shaking, and unbuckling his belt slowly. I remember pondering biting his dick and running for dear life back then.

isnt this attempted rape?

 

[NotWorthLiving]

I wasn't really bullied much due to my 'tough exterior' that made people afraid of me. But I was still made fun of.

 

[TAW122]

I was bullied when I was younger, particularly in middle school and early high school. Then throughout most of my life, I failed socially as a result of not being able to pick up the game and learn social skills necessary (ended up falling behind and unable to catch up and falling behind even more - to the point where just trying to catch up is not even worth it; I'm always behind) then also my Aspergers got in the way (which was also the reason for my failed social skills). If not for the bullying and stuff, I was the butt of jokes and been made fun of constantly. Even to this day, my social life is just a meme, a joke itself. While I don't suffer overt bullying, I am often ignored, and people secretly talked badly about me outside of my presence. I am also an outsider and outcast, don't really fit into any groups or circles. The people who do want to hang out with me just want to push their agendas, make me as their guinea pig/pet project shit, or virtue signal (hint: religious people), thus they aren't the type of interactions or relationships I ever want to be of (fake and dishonest and also selfish of them -- it's all about them, their religion, and shit, hardly about me.)

 

[ReadyasEver]

My little brothers were bullied as kids because we were poor, particularly by the the boys older than them. I fought them like a wildcat when I found out, several times. I got into a lot trouble at times over it. I could have been a bully, I was big and strong for my age. I saw the effect on my brothers, and I've stood up for people, anyone, who were being bullied. It's absolutely devastating to children and I despise it.

 

[Severen]

Bulled by my father, other kids when I was a kid. Bullied by my father and other teens when I was a younger teen but when I got older, other teens stopped bullying me because I joined a clique and had a reputation for being violent in High School. Like if someone started something with me, I would literally just physically attack him. My father never stopped bullying me until he abandoned the family because he was very big and strong. There was no way, I could have beaten his ass.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

isnt this attempted rape?

That idea came in muuuch later.
We're talking roughly this year.
It showed me a certain thing in very new, very unpleasant light.

 

[gnrluver0105]

Yes, by my brother in my family, and in elementary school, some time, I always tried to defend myself, wasn't the most bullied, then I grow tall and with big frame, so the bullying stopped, anyhow, I develop social anxiety, plus, my parents never do a thing to avoid this, when I start to use glasses, they buy me some like grandpa ones... A lot of bullying from that...

 

[Norest4thewicked]

I was a quiet kid at school so I got bullied mercilessly. Labelled the weired kid. Verbal onslaughts daily, a few sly punches and kicks when the teacher wasn't looking. Until I was 16 and snapped on my chief tormentor. I battered him senseless. Then I got suspended for violence, despite the school knowing too well what was going on.

 

[Sanguinius]

Yes, as a little child. I think I'm traumatisided because of it.
I was always different, somehow...
Like Kiwi...

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

Yes, as a little child. I think I'm traumatisided because of it.
I was always different, somehow...
Like Kiwi...

a little ikarus

 

[lostangel]

i get disrespected and laughed in school and at home. In school I never got physically bullied it was more verbal and emotional abuse. Which is worse in my opinion. At home i get treated like a retard and it sucks as I'm a white middle class guy so from the outside everything looks fine and people don't understand what I go through.

 

[Kuris]

Yes both physical and verbal bullying during middle school. Sometimes being held in place against my will with arm around my neck, pushed around, got stuff thrown at me, pants pulled down and got spatted on. Then the normal verbal bullying of being told that I'm a nerd, gay, useless, ugly, and generally just made fun of.
I was really shy and sensitive so I didn't tell about it to anyone and I usually just ended up crying in bed. After 3 years of that I was a totally different person that doesn't trust other people and is so careful of what to say that I just prefer not talking. I wish I would have said something back then and maybe I would be in a different place in life but who knows.

 

[JadedGray]

Yeah a lot for being quiet and I developed a sort of selective mutism during that time. I won't go into huge detail but what angers me the most about it is the fact that the teachers often joined in with the verbal abuse, in front of the whole class even. What scumbag a-holes some of the teachers were. What also annoys me is how people seem to think you didn't suffer any abuse at all because you weren't sexually abused. People disregard physical and mental abuse like it's nothing you just get over it right. Well no you don't.

Yes, I experienced the same thing. Teachers always taunted me in front of the class and everyone would laugh. One class in particular, the teacher would encourage the whole class to torment me. My revenge fantasy at that time, was to blow my brains out in front of that class like Jeremy Delle (the inspiration for the Pearl Jam song). Incidentally, I was 15 years old at the time and it was my second-period English class, like him. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richardson_High_School#Jeremy_Delle_suicide

When I used to talk to therapists about this, they didn't believe me and thought I was making it up. Teachers, like Doctors, are seen as being infallible by society. The bullying in elementary school was pretty bad, but not as bad as high school, because I had gone to the same primary school since I was 4 years old (preschool - grade 8 graduation), so my peers had gotten used to me. It was pure hell in high school (some things I went through include: constant pushing/shoving, having garbage thrown at me even when I was walking home, constant emotional taunts (calling me ugly all the time, telling me to leave their school/that I didn't belong there and telling me to kill myself) and constantly being excluded by my peers). My only escape was the library but even there I had people bang on one of the glass windows next to where I was sitting the whole lunch period and the librarian would purposely open the other window next to me in the Winter time to get me to leave). I have PTSD from the whole experience. I had to change schools three times, but it never got any better. My mother would drag me to the main office to talk to the Guidance Counsellor and Principal, but they would either deny that bullying took place at their school (as if they could follow every student and know this) or put the blame on me and would say that I brought it on myself. I always wished that I could have filmed my daily experiences like in the movie Bang Bang You're Dead, but I didn't bother and was too emotionally exhausted by then.




That was when I accepted that there is no place for me in this world. High school made me the bitter person I am now.

 

[RainAndSadness]

Yeah, for years. I've experienced intense bullying during my time back in school. Either because I was the perfect victim or because I sided with the perfect victims. I don't regret doing that though. I will always stand up for other people. Nonetheless, it damaged me badly and is the main reason for my social anxiety.

 

[Alchemist]

My whole school life involved bullying, sometimes I even provoked it. Elementary and middle were the easiest though, just give or take punches, something easy to deal. The hard times became on high school. I was bullied at school and I became a doormat because I didn't want to cause trouble, then found some groups on the internet, but they only had me around to laugh at my expense, and worse yet, the bullies from school found where I hanged out virtually and started following me there.

On college it was more subtle, no one would say anything to you or even insult you, but they always spoke behind everyone's back and ostracized whoever didn't fit there.

 

[LastFlowers]

Yes.