Anyone here failed an attempt with N?

[RedHarlequin]

I'm sorry if this has been discussed before, if it has could you link me to the thread? I can't find anything myself.
Has anyone here survived taking pentobarbital?
I'm lucky to have 2 bottles from A but thoughts of surviving and becoming paralyzed just keep spinning in my head.. I guess it is SI.

 

[Mentalmick]

I seriously doubt it. It's highly effective at the correct dosage.

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

I think @Berlin76 failed with N, he used domperidone as antiemetic. But he eventually got it through a legal way (euthanasia).

 

[Lupgevif]

I remember a user who did fail, she was found by her parents and doctors said she survived by a miracle. She's no longer in the forum and I can't remember her username, though, I am sorry.

 

[RedHarlequin]

I think @Berlin76 failed with N, he used domperidone as antiemetic. But he eventually got it through a legal way (euthanasia).

Domperidone is an ok antiemetic..

 

[CharlieBrown]

This is a long story but in conclusion i failed my N ctb attempt here i will tell you what happened and how i am now and the symptoms of N od

i weighed around 42kg and my height 5'4


i think on the 14th of august i took 25g of N from C in 60ml of water i followed the stat dose information about that is on my post about taking N if you want more details

so i took the N although i spilt like a tea spoon amount dont think that should affect it though because of my weight anyway then i passed out there was no pain at all i didnt even realise i had passed out. my mum came home about 5 hours later so it was enough time for me she called the ambulance and they told her to pump my chest to get air in

a week later i woke up in hospital

my family has told me i didnt breathe for 5 days, i was on life support, i was dead basically for 3 days and they put me in an induced coma even though i was also in my own coma

they put me on this machine thing that took my blood out and around 4 wheels that apparently "cleaned" my blood and sent it back into my body

i had a feeding tube and oxygen aswell as a catheter, cannulas everywhere in my hands and arms

and when the doctors were ready to pronounce me dead my eye slightly dilated and they checked my brain scan and the doctor had to get 5 other doctors to come and check what he was seeing because he couldn't believe his eyes, he expected the scan to be all straight lines which wouldve meant my brain was dead but all the lines were all jagged up and down which meant i have absolutely no brain damage at all

when i woke up i lost my memory of about 1-2 weeks so i thought i was still on holiday and i didnt even remember that i took N i thought an accident happened or something so when the psychiatrists were asking me about it i denied everything i even told my mum i didnt do that because i seriously couldnt remember it i also couldnt talk for a day or 2 and after that i could barely speak and i stuttered but now my voice is back to normal

my eyes were completely bloodshot red, no white of my eyes was showing it was just blood red all over

not only that but i had the worst hallucinations because of the od, i would see things floating around and id hallucinate people, sound and touch

so i hallucinated my dentist i legit thought my dentist was in the hospital and i waved at him, then when they pulled the curtain back i saw the beach, and i hallucinated people calling my name and also when i closed my eyes and opened them i was in another room like by myself it was really scary and i couldnt get back to where i was before it took ages so maybe it was a dream or hallucinating i dont know


i kept trying to pull things out because i was so out of it i didnt realise i had a needle in my neck and i kept trying to pull it off because i thought it was a sticker

anyway i got my catheter removed and was taken to a different ward, before i was in ITU the intensive care unit

here i had my own room and a 1 to 1 nurse then the hallucinations got worse i think because i was more aware so i hallucinated 3 people, at first it was just one guy, not to mention this ward is just full of old people plus its the womens side but because of how real the hallucinations are i didnt even accept that it wasnt real, so he was making fun of me and calling me a b*tch and all of that, i couldn't see only hear him and that continued, and then there was this girl who threatened to stab me every night, it was so scary because i would tell the nurse and she would tell me it was a hallucination and ofcourse i was still hallucinating so i didnt feel safe, one night i even hallucinated that someone got shot like 1000 times and was still alive, we dont even have guns in england but i believed it.

anyway so that was the hallucinations i got them to let my grandad stay overnight so i felt safer but they still continued until i was put on an antipsychotic which made them go away immediately

my eyes are almost back to normal now too

i was put on a diet of like yogurt, ice cream, jelly and anything soft for like 5 days then i could eat anything

they gave me blood clot injection in the tummy and took bloods from me alot

i needed help getting up and walking and help getting to the bathroom and undressing

i think it took just over a week for me to be able to get up and go to toilet without help and to walk confidently by myself and i got back home after around 2 weeks, everyone said it is a miracle

so thats my story i probably missed alot out so if you have any questions feel free to ask, but also after a couple days ill be leaving here because im just getting back on track with my life i mean i failed N theres nothing else i can do and i never want to be in hospital ever again being stabbed by needles isnt fun at all

also this is in no way a post to make people stop taking N or to discourage anyone i only made this post because it is so rare to hear someones N experience because usually it works so i wanted to tell people what its like to fail, but its a total miracle and probably wouldnt happen to anyone else but me because im unlucky like that or lucky if you want to see it that way

Spoiler: hospital photo

View attachment 43698

something i forgot to add the police took my phone to investigate it i only got it back when i got home however i was allowed my ipad in hospital they also took all my piercings out and took the jewellery and my note. 12 piercings i had i only have 3 now the rest closed up

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

Domperidone is an ok antiemetic..

I think the majority would succeed with it, these are pretty rare cases but they do happen.

 

[RedHarlequin]

Thank you! Even if this is not what I wanted to see the information is priceless.

 

[letsdiee]

She didin't survive by miracle. She just drank bottles before her mother came home. She wasn't mentally stable.
There're cases that people survive only beceause there wasn't enough time to pass away - the same like girl from this forum.
As long as you give yourself enough time no one will save you.

 

[RedHarlequin]

She didin't survive by miracle. She just drank bottles before her mother came home. She wasn't mentally stable.
There're cases that people survive only beceause there wasn't enough time to pass away - the same like girl from this forum.
As long as you give yourself enough time no one will save you.

5 hours should be enough for N though.. from what I've read ppl should pass in an hour or so.
this is good to know however, I will plan more time for my scheduled emails and suicide notes now.

 

[letsdiee]

5 hours should be enough for N though.. from what I've read ppl should pass in an hour or so.
this is good to know however, I will plan more time for my scheduled emails and suicide notes now.

Try to find out if you can set mails to be sent for example 1 day after or something like that. If it were truth they wouldn't rescue these people... an hour is definitly not enough i doubt in 5hours too. Aim for 10hours +

 

[HopelessFight]

There's a (Dutch) article you can find on the internet where it's being explained that in 10% of euthanasia cases where the patient drinks Nembutal, the doctor has to intervene.

This doesn't mean that the failure rate of Nembutal is 10% though. In most of these cases, the patient would have passed away, it would just have taken longer and in these euthanasia cases family members are almost always present, so they want it to go quickly and peaceful.

If you have real N, there are 2 main ways of failure, and they happen to be the same as with SN:
1) Vomiting
2) Being found too fast

My biggest fear is vomiting. Unlike SN, there's no second dose you can prepare, especially because often the vomiting happens after passing out.

 

[RedHarlequin]

There's a (Dutch) article you can find on the internet where it's being explained that in 10% of euthanasia cases where the patient drinks Nembutal, the doctor has to intervene.

This doesn't mean that the failure rate of Nembutal is 10% though. In most of these cases, the patient would have passed away, it would just have taken longer and in these euthanasia cases family members are almost always present, so they want it to go quickly and peaceful.

If you have real N, there are 2 main ways of failure, and they happen to be the same as with SN:
1) Vomiting
2) Being found too fast

My biggest fear is vomiting. Unlike SN, there's no second dose you can prepare, especially because often the vomiting happens after passing out.

I can understand your fear. I wouldn't know if after vomiting I should induce more vomiting myself or not.
I'm so anxious, all the things that could go wrong just keep spinning in my head. I know I should be grateful that I have N to begin with.

 

[letsdiee]

I can understand your fear. I wouldn't know if after vomiting I should induce more vomiting myself or not.
I'm so anxious, all the things that could go wrong just keep spinning in my head. I know I should be grateful that I have N to begin with.

Fear/anxiety before death is quite normal and understandable. Maybe you need a little bit more time to make decision.

 

[Anonymous_A]

Seems like everyone's trying to create a problem/ find any problem that they can with suicide methods

Damn; just boof N...

(inb4 1000's of threads about boofing N, SN...damn, some folk might even ask if they can boof a rope and somehow use it for partial

 

[miseryh8scompany]

Seems like everyone's trying to create a problem/ find any problem that they can with suicide methods

Damn; just boof N...

(inb4 1000's of threads about boofing N, SN...damn, some folk might even ask if they can boof a rope and somehow use it for partial

One could even swallow half to pass out and boof the other half. Less chance of puking

 

[justpeachy]

I seriously doubt it. It's highly effective at the correct dosage.

We've actually had at least 2-4 members that I recall in the last almost year that have failed with N for various reasons, so it definitely is not fool proof. No method is. There is always the chance of living even by jumping in front of a train or taking N. Hell, there is a lady that lived that fell from a damn plane at like over 20,000 ft with no parachute. She was a Russian (I believe) flight attendant. She is actually in the Guinness Book of World Records or was when I was a kid for the longest fall without a parachute and being alive still. So, nothing is 100% even at the correct dosage and by doing everything completely perfectly.

We had a girl not too long ago that failed an attempt with N. She ended up in the hospital for awhile and was told that by all means she should have died without a doubt but for whatever reason she didn't. She was found after several hours too and wasn't breathing, so no idea how long she wasn't breathing/no heartbeat for but CPR was performed and she was brought back and from what she had stated she had zero brain damage which is pretty incredible too but then again nobody knows how long she was without oxygen, may have only been a few minutes (likely was if she didn't suffer brain damage).

Seems like everyone's trying to create a problem/ find any problem that they can with suicide methods

Damn; just boof N...

(inb4 1000's of threads about boofing N, SN...damn, some folk might even ask if they can boof a rope and somehow use it for partial

I dunno about trying to create problems/find problems but the reality is that no method is fool proof or 100%. ANY method can fail even shotgun to the head, jumping from a high building, jumping in front of a fast moving train, or N. There is proof of all four of those failing all over the internet with just a quick search and we have personally had at least 2-4 members since last September when I joined that have failed with N for various reasons (bought from A so it was definitely N and was not some unknown substance). The last one I personally recall was a girl that I think is no longer on the site as she wanted to recover after she lived but she was taken to the hospital and told that she should be dead and there is no reason she should have lived but she obviously did, so I don't think it's bad to ask questions and know that the reality is that there can always be a chance that you will live through your attempt regardless of how severe it is.

She didin't survive by miracle. She just drank bottles before her mother came home. She wasn't mentally stable.
There're cases that people survive only beceause there wasn't enough time to pass away - the same like girl from this forum.
As long as you give yourself enough time no one will save you.

If we are talking about the same girl she was not found for multiple hours....so even if she did take it right before her mother came home she was not immediately found and she didn't go tell anyone that she had taken it either. There are still cases of people living from N overdoses after multiple hours or even through legal euthanasia programs. It is rare, sure, but it's not impossible. There is no 100% way to die. There is someone that has lived through just about every major type of suicide attempt there is. As I mentioned to another user, there is a lady that lived falling 20,000+ft from a freaking plane with no parachute and lived, so it's not impossible to think that you could potentially survive from a N overdose even if done perfectly as per other legal euthanasia programs protocol or by using what the PPH recommends for dosage and how you to take it/process. One of the big things that could happen, and may still happen with nausea medication is vomiting. If you vomit fast enough it's much more likely that you will not die from your attempt as it will not have had enough time to get into your system and unless you have more N on hand then there isn't much else you can do unless you use a separate method which would be hard to do because even a small amount of N will still make you pass out for hours even if you don't die. It's actually a pretty high rate (believe it is around 10%) that vomit from N and there has to be interference from doctors in regards to either prescribing more/giving IV form in legal euthanasia programs.


EDIT: Just in case anyone is curious or doubts it, here is an article on the woman who survived the 33,000ft fall from a plane with no parachute and suffered very few injuries.

Flight attendant falls 33,330 ft. from sky and survives | University Fox

On the morning of January 26, 1972, everything seemed perfectly normal. Vulovic was in good spirits after enjoying a night in Denmark, and she had no reason to assume the rest of her journey wouldn’t go to plan. However, less than an hour after take-off, the worst thing imaginable happened...

www.universityfox.com

 

[Bullit]

This is scary stuff. I wish we could have cbt partners,to watch over us and assure we ctb!

 

[justpeachy]

This is scary stuff. I wish we could have cbt partners,to watch over us and assure we ctb!

Thing is then things start to get illegal if it's to make sure you actually CTB as they would have to essentially at the least, participate in a suicide which is a huge crime in a lot of places, and at the the most actually commit murder if you didn't actually die and were just not alert but still breathing etc. The best way to get something like this and honestly the only legal way is with a legal euthanasia program if you meet the criteria for one (which is having some sort of physical illness that can be proven makes life unbearable essentially, and having several doctors sign off on this, and therapists sign off that you aren't mentally ill and doing this for that reason).

 

[Thegoldenapples]

Thing is then things start to get illegal if it's to make sure you actually CTB as they would have to essentially at the least, participate in a suicide which is a huge crime in a lot of places, and at the the most actually commit murder if you didn't actually die and were just not alert but still breathing etc. The best way to get something like this and honestly the only legal way is with a legal euthanasia program if you meet the criteria for one (which is having some sort of physical illness that can be proven makes life unbearable essentially, and having several doctors sign off on this, and therapists sign off that you aren't mentally ill and doing this for that reason).

The girl you're talking about took C's powder. He was getting around 60% purity at one time. Another guy failed because he spewed up because he used different AE's. I haven't seen any others. If you can remember why the the others failed, that would be good info. 99% of failures I've heard of are from medical intervention, so it's key to not be found for a decent period of time.

 

[Anonymous_A]

We've actually had at least 2-4 members that I recall in the last almost year that have failed with N for various reasons, so it definitely is not fool proof. No method is. There is always the chance of living even by jumping in front of a train or taking N. Hell, there is a lady that lived that fell from a damn plane at like over 20,000 ft with no parachute. She was a Russian (I believe) flight attendant. She is actually in the Guinness Book of World Records or was when I was a kid for the longest fall without a parachute and being alive still. So, nothing is 100% even at the correct dosage and by doing everything completely perfectly.

I dunno about trying to create problems/find problems but the reality is that no method is fool proof or 100%. ANY method can fail even shotgun to the head, jumping from a high building, jumping in front of a fast moving train, or N. There is proof of all four of those failing all over the internet with just a quick search and we have personally had at least 2-4 members since last September when I joined that have failed with N for various reasons (bought from A so it was definitely N and was not some unknown substance). The last one I personally recall was a girl that I think is no longer on the site as she wanted to recover after she lived but she was taken to the hospital and told that she should be dead and there is no reason she should have lived but she obviously did, so I don't think it's bad to ask questions and know that the reality is that there can always be a chance that you will live through your attempt regardless of how severe it is.

I wasn't been serious about boofing n.

Look if people really wanna ctb, with the least 'gory' way (like jumping/gunshot whatever) then N and SN are really the only way to do it somewhat peacefully.

Read the guides, do it right, and try it. If not then I guess just join the many others on the journey to find better ways.

Seeing a handful of failures (or successes if I you want) but let's be honest, N/SN is all we really have in terms of idealiality.
They wouldn't be constantly talked about if they didn't work. They wouldn't be so hard to get, if they didn't work/ be successful.

 

[Mentalmick]

Hell, there is a lady that lived that fell from a damn plane at like over 20,000 ft with no parachute.

Now that would of been an interesting journey.

 

[justpeachy]

Now that would of been an interesting journey.

Yeah! I am sure there'a interviews with her. I have never Searched much into her but it was a crazy story that's did she.

 

[Secrets1]

We've actually had at least 2-4 members that I recall in the last almost year that have failed with N for various reasons, so it definitely is not fool proof. No method is. There is always the chance of living even by jumping in front of a train or taking N. Hell, there is a lady that lived that fell from a damn plane at like over 20,000 ft with no parachute. She was a Russian (I believe) flight attendant. She is actually in the Guinness Book of World Records or was when I was a kid for the longest fall without a parachute and being alive still. So, nothing is 100% even at the correct dosage and by doing everything completely perfectly.

We had a girl not too long ago that failed an attempt with N. She ended up in the hospital for awhile and was told that by all means she should have died without a doubt but for whatever reason she didn't. She was found after several hours too and wasn't breathing, so no idea how long she wasn't breathing/no heartbeat for but CPR was performed and she was brought back and from what she had stated she had zero brain damage which is pretty incredible too but then again nobody knows how long she was without oxygen, may have only been a few minutes (likely was if she didn't suffer brain damage).


I dunno about trying to create problems/find problems but the reality is that no method is fool proof or 100%. ANY method can fail even shotgun to the head, jumping from a high building, jumping in front of a fast moving train, or N. There is proof of all four of those failing all over the internet with just a quick search and we have personally had at least 2-4 members since last September when I joined that have failed with N for various reasons (bought from A so it was definitely N and was not some unknown substance). The last one I personally recall was a girl that I think is no longer on the site as she wanted to recover after she lived but she was taken to the hospital and told that she should be dead and there is no reason she should have lived but she obviously did, so I don't think it's bad to ask questions and know that the reality is that there can always be a chance that you will live through your attempt regardless of how severe it is.


If we are talking about the same girl she was not found for multiple hours....so even if she did take it right before her mother came home she was not immediately found and she didn't go tell anyone that she had taken it either. There are still cases of people living from N overdoses after multiple hours or even through legal euthanasia programs. It is rare, sure, but it's not impossible. There is no 100% way to die. There is someone that has lived through just about every major type of suicide attempt there is. As I mentioned to another user, there is a lady that lived falling 20,000+ft from a freaking plane with no parachute and lived, so it's not impossible to think that you could potentially survive from a N overdose even if done perfectly as per other legal euthanasia programs protocol or by using what the PPH recommends for dosage and how you to take it/process. One of the big things that could happen, and may still happen with nausea medication is vomiting. If you vomit fast enough it's much more likely that you will not die from your attempt as it will not have had enough time to get into your system and unless you have more N on hand then there isn't much else you can do unless you use a separate method which would be hard to do because even a small amount of N will still make you pass out for hours even if you don't die. It's actually a pretty high rate (believe it is around 10%) that vomit from N and there has to be interference from doctors in regards to either prescribing more/giving IV form in legal euthanasia programs.


EDIT: Just in case anyone is curious or doubts it, here is an article on the woman who survived the 33,000ft fall from a plane with no parachute and suffered very few injuries.

Flight attendant falls 33,330 ft. from sky and survives | University Fox

On the morning of January 26, 1972, everything seemed perfectly normal. Vulovic was in good spirits after enjoying a night in Denmark, and she had no reason to assume the rest of her journey wouldn’t go to plan. However, less than an hour after take-off, the worst thing imaginable happened...

www.universityfox.com

Where do you see this 10% vomit rate?

I might be overconfident, I pledged a frat and was forced to drink all sorts of disgusting shit. It's been years but didn't throw up easily. I was planning to not use anything or something over the counter like a single tab of pepto bismal (my phone autocorrected pepto>pento ). Since I think when I do make the decision I'll be in such a low place energy wise that I would just take it in that instant or night, not with days of preparation and wash down with a bit of alcohol. Also, I'm really not worried about something small blocking absorption since my time window will be a guaranteed 12+ hours. I don't care if it takes 30 min or 5 hours to die. As long as I'm asleep in 10 minutes and not waking back up.

 

[justpeachy]

Where do you see this 10% vomit rate?

I might be overconfident, I pledged a frat and was forced to drink all sorts of disgusting shit. It's been years but didn't throw up easily. I was planning to not use anything or something over the counter like a single tab of pepto bismal (my phone autocorrected pepto>pento ). Since I think when I do make the decision I'll be in such a low place energy wise that I would just take it in that instant or night, not with days of preparation and wash down with a bit of alcohol. Also, I'm really not worried about something small blocking absorption since my time window will be a guaranteed 12+ hours. I don't care if it takes 30 min or 5 hours to die. As long as I'm asleep in 10 minutes and not waking back up.

It's been posted in numerous medical studies surrounding euthanasia using N. I don't have the link currently and just don't have the energy to search for it but if you google it you can find it easily. Also, if you end up vomiting within 1-3 min after taking it then there is a higher likelihood that it won't work as not enough of the N stayed in your system. There's really no way to tell who will and won't vomit. It just happens sometimes depending on how your body reacts to the N. N and alcohol aren't really comparable so that might not mean much. It never hurts to take a prescribed antiemetic prior. That's what the doctors that do legal euthanasia do.

 

[Secrets1]

It's been posted in numerous medical studies surrounding euthanasia using N. I don't have the link currently and just don't have the energy to search for it but if you google it you can find it easily. Also, if you end up vomiting within 1-3 min after taking it then there is a higher likelihood that it won't work as not enough of the N stayed in your system. There's really no way to tell who will and won't vomit. It just happens sometimes depending on how your body reacts to the N. N and alcohol aren't really comparable so that might not mean much. It never hurts to take a prescribed antiemetic prior. That's what the doctors that do legal euthanasia do.

Here is the study where you found the "up to 10%" information. Link works. Which is a meta-analysis of other studies. With unsubstantiated conclusions from a scientific perspective IMO. Still contains info that many in here will find interesting.

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associationofanaesthetists-publications.onlinelibrary.wiley.com

And the only study I could read where it got its' data from about vomiting and coma resurrection. Much more interesting and relevant. The other 2 studies appear to be in Dutch which I can't read.

https://www.nejm.org/doi/10.1056/NEJM200002243420805?url_ver=Z39.88-2003&rfr_id=ori%3Arid%3Acrossref.org&rfr_dat=cr_pub++0www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

Most of the data from the "up to 10%" is at least 25-30 years old, included use of opiates, potassium chloride (rare) and unspecified barbiturates. Personally, I think it is instructive but also from a biased perspective and fear mongering. We have learned much about nuance here in the last 30 years. Simultaneously it's important to realize the PPH comes from a biased perspective on the other side. All "scientists". My analysis on the real life implications of results and study are below

Most importantly to the vomit rate, in "assisted suicides" performed at home nausea OR vomiting was reported in 4/114 cases. A multiplier effect was added when the author did this calculation due to successful cases where it was unknown during the autopsy if there were complications. Outside of that leap of faith, this indicated 3.5% chance of nausea OR vomiting. Given that only 2% had issues related to coming out of coma (failed CTB), I think we can assume the vomit rate is less than half of 3.5% since there are a few reported instances where a person has been revived without vomiting due to early medical intervention.

I think the more educational statistic is the rate of awakening from coma. Which exists but is extremely rare. When looking deeper into the specific methods people were using compared to what is recommended today it's clear that was part of the problem. So it leaves a fraction of a % who might just be unlucky.

As for me, pledging included much more than alcohol, not lol . I would add alcohol because it increases the potency of pento when mixed. And if I cared about being in a coma state instead of insta-dead take a day or two off my my benzo script since it interacts negatively with pento for the intended purposes. Which we know now but did not in 1990. However, combining alcohol with benzos themselves leads to slowed respiration and potential death potentially offsetting negative benzo interaction. I am pretty comfortable that something to coat the stomach lining slightly like a small dose of pepto bismal combined with overloaded dose of N and some liquor will lead to the drug living up to its rep here.