Anyone have seriously unbearable mood swings?

[PrincessInWhite]

I have symptoms of BPD even though I don't meet the full criteria (can manage my emotions just fine when not at home, don't blame anyone else at all for my life and take full responsibility, function just fine tbh and nobody except those close to me would guess, etc). However, the mood swings I fit to a T. I come crashing down so often after swinging up so high, and sometimes I can't even put my finger on why. DBT has taught me to sit with and accept these feelings but I'm honestly so fucking tired of crashing so hard and being so miserable so often. It's exhausting, and I feel guilty for those closest to me who see my symptoms (mainly only my bf and dad and brother). I have done so much work on these symptoms and my mood is still so erratic and extreme, even though I can cover it well and function through it. It makes me angry I have to deal with at all, and I know I definitely don't want to live the rest of my life like this, but all the therapy and meds and programs haven't touched this part of it. It's the main reason I fantasize about catching the bus.

Can anyone relate?

 

[Redt2go]

Yeah... I've started muted/suppressing my highs by noticing them quicker and reminding myself of lows. I find it's easier to deal with continual low's vs crashing off a high... I'm not a therapist I'm just coping so this is likely terrible advice

 

[Pepega]

Yeah... I've started muted/suppressing my highs by noticing them quicker and reminding myself of lows. I find it's easier to deal with continual low's vs crashing off a high... I'm not a therapist I'm just coping so this is likely terrible advice

Never been diagnosed, but I have all symptoms of a bipolar and like you I try to keep myself low

 

[Redt2go]

Never been diagnosed, but I have all symptoms of a bipolar and like you I try to keep myself low

It's easier yeah and I think op may be referring to borderline if the mood swings occur several times a day

 

[Plankter]

I can, though I no longer have them. A year or two ago my mood would harmonically oscillate between full of life & energy and hopelessly suicidal. I had all symptoms of BPD but never got diagnosed, and now that I have none of the symptoms left, I don't think I really had BPD or any related disorder. I still don't know why and how I lived that period of my life like that.
Nowadays though I feel depressed 24/7. I don't remember feeling any remarkable amount of happiness in the last few months.