Anyone feels a degree of relief after establishing a solid / reliable method?

[StateOfMind]

I've been clinically depressed and suicidal for about five years now.
But for only about a year I have been researching reliable methods.
It's taken about half a year to optimize my method.
The relief is almost enough to make me want to live a little longer.
It's only a matter of time now before all the right circumstances align and I will be gone.

 

[hoffnungstod]

I can relate to this. It's like a long journey comes to an end. Btw my method will be SN.

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Yes,
Having an out at hand removes some of the stress and anxiety.
It is quite counterproductive if you try to recover though. It drains the effort to recover because you have a way out.

 

[Deleted member 23885]

Well, SN is out of question & hanging likely won't work out for me. So, I'm stuck here while I struggle with severe depression. At least, theme parks & water parks, alongside swimming lessons, will provide some kind of distraction.

 

[AprilsBlessings]

The relief is almost enough to make me want to live a little longer.

THIS

 

[262653]

It is quite counterproductive if you try to recover though. It drains the effort to recover because you have a way out.

Indeed. Knowing that I can put a minimum effort to get a definite zero makes me less interested in applying colossal effort, which may or may not be enough, to get a life that may or may not be worth living. Especially when my predictions for life are not promising. Though I'm positive that recovery is worth a shot in some cases, it's just not really clear for me in which cases.

 

[WornOutLife]

The relief is almost enough to make me want to live a little longer.

I never had a solid and reliable method but I can understand this. Having a proper plan and things going the right way relax you and make you wanna live longer. After all, you can ctb whenever you want, no rush.

I've read some people who had their SN feeling like this. They were desperate to die but once their SN arrived they didn't drink it immediately.

 

[Symbiote]

I have it, I don't have to think about it except where I put it, but knowing that I have a way out brings me peace. And now I feel like I can concentrate on other things like recovery.....how weird is that?

I don't have to worry about it failing cause I've already been through the process before, gotta remember not to be found when I do it.