anyone feel there's no other way out to your problems than suicide?

[Steamm]

it's so sad when it comes to mind that suicide is the only alternative.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I think a lot of us think so. I certainly can relate. Wouldn't be suicidal if there was a different realistic way out.

Want to share what your problems are? Maybe if we all come together and brainstorm, we can think of something, or at least you feel better after getting it off your chest...

 

[Mr2005]

it's so sad when it comes to mind that suicide is the only alternative.

Yeah. I still can't believe I ended up here. I've wasted too much time that I can't get back

 

[Steamm]

I think a lot of us think so. I certainly can relate. Wouldn't be suicidal if there was a different realistic way out.

Want to share what your problems are? Maybe if we all come together and brainstorm, we can think of something, or at least you feel better after getting it off your chest...

yeah you're right, the answer to my question is probably too obvious. Everyone that thinks about suicide is because has already tried every option left.

 

[Ghost2211]

If there was another way out I would have done it by now.

 

[death137]

Yeah suicide is the only solution for my problem.

 

[mellow]

Yes. I have brain damage. Someone told me it's a "permanent solution to a temporary problem" but the problem is permanent so that doesn't apply

 

[Jellyfish42]

There is probably solutions to most of my problems. But that would require me to actively engage and seek out these solutions. And at my current state it's just not feasible, I don't have the energy nor willpower. I'm deteriorating mentally and don't even think its worth the effort to make a comeback.

That's why I've come to suicide. It's a no nonsense approach and will clear all of these problems. It's something I can actually manage and carry out at my lowest capacity.

 

[Spitfire]

it's so sad when it comes to mind that suicide is the only alternative.

I do get sad about it at times more than others. This is even though I feel okay with the idea of death for with myself too.

I can not quite put my finger on it why? I think RoseyBird said it best.. if there was another way??

I do not think hardly anybody truly exhausts all of their possible options prior to coming to their conclusions. I do not think there is any real way to know what they would all be.. for most people?

There is probably something deeply ingrained into my way of thinking which is causing this, for wanting there to be other options?

 

[Irishman]

For some of us, there's always a way out. It's up to us whenever we want it or not.

 

[TheSoulless]

There is probably solutions to most of my problems. But that would require me to actively engage and seek out these solutions. And at my current state it's just not feasible, I don't have the energy nor willpower. I'm deteriorating mentally and don't even think its worth the effort to make a comeback.

That's why I've come to suicide. It's a no nonsense approach and will clear all of these problems. It's something I can actually manage and carry out at my lowest capacity.

Well written, I feel the same.

 

[Bruces]

I can't see another way

 

[Metalhead]

I still struggle with the idea of suicide but when I start looking at my problems I realise they will never be solved. Being depressed doesn't help my way of thinking either and anti depressants don't seem to help at all. It's probably because it's more caused by situational depression than anything else and being bipolar certainly doesn't make things any easier. Only last week I was at a local quarry to check the possibility of jumping there but I would definitely need the help of benzos/alcohol to overcome my SI.

 

[sadworld]

I've tried every other option but everything got worse, not better...

 

[Ghost2211]

I do get sad about it at times more than others. This is even though I feel okay with the idea of death for with myself too.

I can not quite put my finger on it why? I think RoseyBird said it best.. if there was another way??

I do not think hardly anybody truly exhausts all of their possible options prior to coming to their conclusions. I do not think there is any real way to know what they would all be.. for most people?

There is probably something deeply ingrained into my way of thinking which is causing this, for wanting there to be other options?

There is technically always more options, but they would decrease quality of life further for us so we no longer view them as options.

 

[sadworld]

I still struggle with the idea of suicide but when I start looking at my problems I realise they will never be solved. Being depressed doesn't help my way of thinking either and anti depressants don't seem to help at all. It's probably because it's more caused by situational depression than anything else and being bipolar certainly doesn't make things any easier. Only last week I was at a local quarry to check the possibility of jumping there but I would definitely need the help of benzos/alcohol to overcome my SI.

yeah i feel the same, just wanted to tell if you end up jumping, don't consume alcohol before it, because alcohol will protect your inner organs so you might survive... anyway much love to you

 

[Spitfire]

There is technically always more options, but they would decrease quality of life further for us so we no longer view them as options.

That was a HUGE like there!

 

[ITryHard]

Sadly, yes. I've exhausted all other options and have determined that this is the only way. I can't believe life has taken me here, but it is what it is.

 

[Spitfire]

I think even relatively good options for some of us.. we realize they will only be temporary and they are simply just not worth it anymore.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I've been pretty active since I joined. I'll try to get this out for those who don't know my story as short as possible. My first ohh 18 years of life was hell, I was born into it. At 20 I had m yolder son, the first unconditional true love in my life. The first bit of happiness and hope. He died in a car accident almost 3 yrs ago at 25 years old. We were VERY close. I died with him that day. I've stuck it out october 13 will be 3 years because I have a younger son who will be 20 in January. He moved out to my ex in laws 3 months after he turned 18. He's been grieving his older brother and mother as he knew her that day. I've been unable to see any mental health because none take my insurance. I heard about a method, looked it up and found this forum from the wiki.

I've fully explained how I felt the day I ordered my method. I smiled ear to ear and could not stop smiling. I have felt 0 joy since my son died. My mother had met me at the bathroom door and I just had this huge smile- she looked at me odd and I just burst out laughing, pointing with both hand pointing up, I jumped up and down laughing out of control saying I'm going I'm going. I've been very honest with everyone since my son died I want to die to be reunited with him. She said D you're laughing? whats going on? Anyway, later that night she wanted to talk. I've been crying with a frown everyday for 3 years and suddenly she saw me smiling HUGE and laughing. She saw the pure happiness and joy I had. After discussion she realized I will not have happiness, that the possibility I have a peaceful painless way to get to my son is the answer for me.

Saturday was a week since my method arrived in the mail. I plan to go Oct 13- the same day my son died. When I joined I was 1000% sure I was going to go. When my method arrived I was 1000% sure I was going to go. I do kiss my bottle of my method and it's come across my mind a few times in the just over a week it's here I just want to drink it. I'm trying to wait because I don't want my younger son to have 2 different dates to mourn. He will have just Oct 13th...

Being able to talk here with people has been so much help. Not just for information on my method but the pure kindness and understanding I've found. we all are so broken yet I've never found a place with such caring people. Some people have given me some advise, I had a rather harsh response about what I would do to my younger son-it hurt but also makes me reconsider. I've been advised I might be able to see a mental health professional now due to covid- possibly telehealth. I was suicidal as a teenager due to the hell I had been through. I was in and out of psych hospital a lot. SO this isn't my first go around with feeling like I want to CTB. I'm glad I failed as a teenager because I was given so much more than I could have ever dreamed with my sons.

Sorry this is so long. It helps me to talk on here. I am considering calling my insurance now and seeing about telehealth. I might finally be able to get some mental health help due to how covid has changed things. The only options I exhausted was calling over 40 psychiatrists, counselors and mental health facilities trying to find help when my son died. I owe it to my younger son to try to get telehealth if it is now available to me. I am now unsure if I will CTB Oct 13th or not. This forum has been such a valuable place for many reasons. As you see I tend to make novels- as the days go by I will be updating what is happening. I think I'll call my insurance later or tomorrow to see if I can finally get some help...

 

[Metalhead]

yeah i feel the same, just wanted to tell if you end up jumping, don't consume alcohol before it, because alcohol will protect your inner organs so you might survive... anyway much love to you

Thank you for the advice.

 

[Spitfire]

Sinkinshyp, I am really going to miss you and your postings (if you do leave)!

 

[Worthless_nobody]

There are still things in this life I want to try before ctb so I can 100% fully say I tried everything. However it seems most paths inevitably point back to ctb. That's why I say if I had money now it would solve almost everything but in the end after everyone I'm trying to hang on for is gone money will solve nothing.

 

[blargh]

There probably are, but I have no interest in pursuing these other options, or in anything that they could bring. Feeling good is fine and dandy, but I want to not exist at all. Desiring to be alive seems like an unfortunate state to be in.

 

[WFJ74]

I don't just feel it, I know it. The situation I'm in now is inescapable without the total destruction of my life and career. CTB is literally the only way to avoid that because it will happen sooner or later.

 

[FuneralCry]

We are destined for death anyway and I guess it's better taking it on your own terms when you can make peace with dying rather than it being taken away randomly. If only there was an peaceful easy method though. It's better to be at peace than going through pointless suffering.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Suicide is so certain for me as to know that after day comes night.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

It really seems like it's the only way to be free

 

[Mr2005]

I do get sad about it at times more than others. This is even though I feel okay with the idea of death for with myself too.

I can not quite put my finger on it why? I think RoseyBird said it best.. if there was another way??

I do not think hardly anybody truly exhausts all of their possible options prior to coming to their conclusions. I do not think there is any real way to know what they would all be.. for most people?

There is probably something deeply ingrained into my way of thinking which is causing this, for wanting there to be other options?

Knowing it didn't have to be this way, that's what makes this so hard for me

We are destined for death anyway and I guess it's better taking it on your own terms when you can make peace with dying rather than it being taken away randomly. If only there was an peaceful easy method though. It's better to be at peace than going through pointless suffering.

That's all well and good but other people might not be able to make peace with it. I have a horrible feeling she'll follow me.

There are still things in this life I want to try before ctb so I can 100% fully say I tried everything. However it seems most paths inevitably point back to ctb. That's why I say if I had money now it would solve almost everything but in the end after everyone I'm trying to hang on for is gone money will solve nothing.

That's another thing. If I soldier on only for the people I did it for to die first I'll wish I hadn't.

 

[voyager]

Same. It's been decades now, but I still can't believe how it could've come to this. Once in a while I'll think this is just a bad, surreal dream and can't be happening. Must be some mistake. I should be able to snap out of it. Maybe by thought. I mean, I'm still here. Still conscious and fully aware of my situation, but it doesn't seem to matter. Can't do anything about it. For the most part I'm numb, so can't say I feel sad but underneath I know I am. The fear I have revolves mainly about having to continue this pointless existence, or it worsening even. Also feel despair. Ctb seems the only viable solution, and while it's not how I wanted my life to play out, it seems better than being stuck in this situation forever. Hmph.