Anyone feel ashamed to want to ctb?

[AtomicWaffles]

I feel deep down that if I do it, I will have left people who depend on me emotionally behind there are 2 people I feel like would be a emotional wreck if I were to ctb. Does anyone else feel this way or am I alone with this one?

 

[annointed_towers]

My parents and boyfriend adore me. They'd be devastated. But I don't see how I can go on.

 

[_Broken_alice]

Every time the urges hit. We know we would absolutely devastate our chosen-mom and our partners. We feel it is so wrong and selfish to want our pain over at the cost of increasing theirs. In all honesty, those feelings are the only thing that have kept us here this year.

 

[sukuna]

I feel the same way but at the same time I don't feel happy staying here at all. Maybe its a little selfish but with a few months people grieve and move on. Devastated, sure but their lives wont come to a screeching halt if I leave. I believe this can be said for most people

 

[AtomicWaffles]

I feel the same way but at the same time I don't feel happy staying here at all. Maybe its a little selfish but with a few months people grieve and move on. Devastated, sure but their lives wont come to a screeching halt if I leave. I believe this can be said for most people

Wow thats actually something I have never heard before, i do suppose it is a little selfish yea, but the point that eventually they would move on is true and something I have never thought about you have just blown my mind

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It is understandable that you are worried how your loved ones will feel if you CTBed but that is nothing to be ashamed of when you have your personal reasons. Ig none of the problems that make u suicidal can be solved by anyone of them?

Unfortunately it's the ever unsolvable problem: someone has to suffer either the one who wants ctb bc life is unbearable or the loved ones who don't want to deal with grief and loss. Their grief is temporary in most cases.

This is an awful situation to be trapped in.

 

[oddetoad]

You need to understand that nobody really cares if someone leaves. It's just something people say to act nice. It's all a part of the social game.
That's like one of the main reasons I want to CTB is because this soulless dump called Earth is nothing more than a slave farm.
I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but someone had to give you the truth ...

 

[TheLastGreySky]

The people who know I'm going to kill myself (My sister mainly) have tried to suggest that my kids will hate me.
No one seems to understand the crippling depression and the crying fits and the pleading with God daily have devoured my will to live.
They probably think it's a joke.

You need to understand that nobody really cares if someone leaves. It's just something people say to act nice. It's all a part of the social game.
That's like one of the main reasons I want to CTB is because this soulless dump called Earth is nothing more than a slave farm.
I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but someone had to give you the truth ...

I believe some people do care, after all, I care. And I'm not a special case... but yeah, most people can get pulled apart by wolves.
I am deeply ashamed to be a human being.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

That's like one of the main reasons I want to CTB is because this soulless dump called Earth is nothing more than a slave farm.

I agree but you do have to realize that this action will impact those you care about and it will hurt for a very long time long after you've become forgotten to the world.

 

[oddetoad]

The people who know I'm going to kill myself (My sister mainly) have tried to suggest that my kids will hate me.
No one seems to understand the crippling depression and the crying fits and the pleading with God daily have devoured my will to live.
They probably think it's a joke.

I believe some people do care, after all, I care. And I'm not a special case... but yeah, most people can get pulled apart by wolves.
I am deeply ashamed to be a human being.

There's this thing in Mexico where the Cartel sometimes put 2 brothers alone locked in a house and says "Only one of you can be free" and they give them one Machete ..
I read one of those news I think it was Jalisco Nueva Generacion that did it and I read about the brother.

You'd be surprised when a "loving" person can turn on you in an instant.

 

[AtomicWaffles]

You need to understand that nobody really cares if someone leaves. It's just something people say to act nice. It's all a part of the social game.
That's like one of the main reasons I want to CTB is because this soulless dump called Earth is nothing more than a slave farm.
I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but someone had to give you the truth ...

I guess you're right, i suppose our only purpose on here is to eat, sleep, work, reproduce and than die one way or the other, and all most people care about is making their version of the process more comfortable yet they know deep down they will never perfect it and our loved ones would gladly throw us away just to get closer to their "perfect life style" but they know that the day will never come.

This hurts.

 

[TheLastGreySky]

There's this thing in Mexico where the Cartel sometimes put 2 brothers alone locked in a house and says "Only one of you can be free" and they give them one Machete ..
I read one of those news I think it was Jalisco Nueva Generacion that did it and I read about the brother.

You'd be surprised when a "loving" person can turn on you in an instant.

Oh, no. I know all too well. I was married 12 years (From 17 to 28) but I know I'M not that type of person. It's hard to trusting people.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

No. It's my decision and I don't care who will be upset by it, because their existence didn't make me enjoy life enough to stay. I miss a dead person more then I'd miss all of the people I know that are alive combined, and if I knew for sure that an afterlife with them existed, I would instantly ctb. I was told by a friend that I learned to be selfish and stop being a people pleaser at the wrong time, haha.